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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25963315">The Life And Two Deaths of (dubiously a doctor) W. D. Gaster</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloaked_saurosuchus/pseuds/cloaked_saurosuchus'>cloaked_saurosuchus</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Undertale (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>...eventually., Dadster, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Good W. D. Gaster, Implied/Referenced Child Death, Implied/Referenced Child Neglect, Minor Character Death, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Loathing, W. D. Gaster Gets a Hug, W. D. Gaster Needs a Hug, dad!grillby, slightly goopy Gaster, this will cover a loooong stretch of time so strap yourself in</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:13:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>38,812</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25963315</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloaked_saurosuchus/pseuds/cloaked_saurosuchus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>W. D. Gaster survived what should have, by all means, have been his own death, and now he has to deal with the consequences of the stunt he pulled along with the fact that all of Monsterkind is suddenly stuck underground.</p><p>Also, eventually, he has to learn that a family can be a fire monster, his best friend skeleton(?) scientist, and two tiny skeleton souls he was given to care for.</p><p>Should hopefully start updating again somewhere around beginning-mid May!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>W. D. Gaster &amp; Grillby</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>60</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Gone and Back Again</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>(While there might be deviance from canon in things I missed/just couldn't work in, this is pretty much as non-AU as I can get, so make of the tags what you will)</p><p>Expect mostly slice-of-life, there will be something of a plot, but this is mostly just watching Gaster grow and grapple with things. The biggest antagonist in this is Gaster towards himself. Also, inb4 anyone interprets this Grillster romantically: I write them as two aro fools for this, and I'll get pretty explicit in later chapters concerning the fact that their relationship is platonic/qpr. Just a word of warning, don't get your hopes up for diners by candlelight and kissing.</p><p>And as usual as far as my fics go: if you find any grammar goofs, typos, or strange sentence structures, let me know, I'll happily fix them! I'm a beta-less tired non-native English speaker. ;)</p><p>Writing blog w/ updates and such: https://cloaked-saurosuchus.tumblr.com/<br/>Artblog tag with things related to this fic: https://copper-skulls.tumblr.com/tagged/two-deaths-related-drawings<br/>Warning that spoilers about in both of these up until the latest posted chapter!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Oh no, no, no, <em>no-</em></p>
<p>This was never supposed to happen, he was <em>never</em> supposed to <em>fight-</em></p>
<p>The human drove their sword into his right eye socket and then jerked it upwards.</p>
<p>Gaster wanted to scream so much but the sound died in his throat.</p>
<p>It hurt <em>so much</em>, oh stars, <em>stars the pain was unbearable-</em></p>
<p>Desperately, he grabbed the human and both of them stumbled to the floor, knocking over a small table with metal instruments as they fell.</p>
<p>The human struggled with the blade and Gaster could barely think straight as the pain just kept coming. He desperately patted the floor around them. There should be something, <em>anything</em> he could grab a hold of, he just wanted this to <em>stop-</em></p>
<p>His hand came upon something metal. A shaky grip, blind swing-</p>
<p>The struggling changed. Something warm went down his arm, and then the human collapsed onto him.</p>
<p>A shaky sense of calmness washed over Gaster. The pain was still indescribable, but at least the sword wasn’t getting wedged any deeper.</p>
<p>His entire skull felt like it would burst into flames at any second and he couldn’t see. <em>But it wasn’t getting any worse.</em></p>
<p>He breathed out.</p>
<p>And then he felt his soul crack. This wasn’t the searing pain of the sustained injury. This was a cold, undeniable reality looming over him. It was all-encompassing. As if his thoughts had to wade through mud, he slowly realised that he couldn’t feel his legs.</p>
<p>He was starting to lose the feeling of his torso.</p>
<p>The calmness was drowned out by mind-numbing panic as Gaster realised he was <em>dusting.</em></p>
<p>No. <em>No.</em> <em>No!</em> He couldn’t <em>die</em> here, there had to be something he could do!</p>
<p>Once again, he flailed his arms around desperately, trying to find anything that could help him. He didn’t know what it would be, and he couldn’t move with the human on him.</p>
<p>The floor around him was clear. There <em>had</em> to be something. But nothing was… close…</p>
<p>As he felt his mind slowly slip, he summoned the last of his blue magic and grabbed the first thing he could feel.</p>
<p>
  <em>Ping!</em>
</p>
<p>The human’s soul entered his chest and it felt as if a horse kicked him in his ribs, if he still had any left. The world he couldn’t see spun wildly and his entire being pulsed.</p>
<p>It felt, no, <em>was</em> wrong. <em>So very wrong.</em> The soul didn’t want to be there. <em>He</em> didn’t want it to be there. It felt crushing, overpowering, <em>furious-</em></p>
<p>He swung his arm again and ripped it out of his chest.</p>
<p>Much bett…</p><hr/>
<p>He had to be told what happened afterwards by other monsters, but they didn’t know everything. And Gaster, even years later, couldn’t recall a single second of it. Apparently, he was found by Gerson, unstable both in form and mind, covered in blood and <em>dust</em>, his black lab coat torn to shreds. He had to be dragged down into the mountain by force.</p>
<p>What not many knew was that whatever happened up there left him with significant LV and his soul with a large, blue crack. The thought that he didn’t remember what he had done always made Gaster shudder.</p>
<p>When he finally came to his senses, the barrier was already up. He stared at it, unmoving and silent, for days.</p>
<p>So many things had happened, but he couldn’t bring himself to think about any of them. When he tried to, they always slipped his mind like sand slipped though fingers. Perhaps that was for the better. No thoughts.</p>
<p>Just staring at the small, swirling patterns moving through the barrier.</p>
<p>“Wing.” The voice that spoke to him was calm and quiet, but hard to ignore. And with an undertone of crackling wood.</p>
<p>Gaster turned around with a sigh, and both of his pupils, small, glowing circles of white in his eye sockets, drifted towards its owner. Even that small movement felt strange, alien. It was a fire monster, looking at him through a pair of glasses and currently wearing a polka-dot apron that really didn’t go with the torn, scorched suit under it. Grillby.</p>
<p>“Come. Get something to eat,” he said, his voice rather monotone, but somehow still warm.</p>
<p>Gaster lifted his skeletal hands and started signing, his face expressionless. <em>“You know I don’t have to eat much. I’m —or at least, was— a skeleton.”</em></p>
<p>Grillby’s face was notoriously hard to read, but Gaster had known him for a long time and he knew from the slight bristle of his flames that he frowned. “It’s been over a week, Wing. This is hard on us all, but you can’t just stare at the barrier forever. You have to do something,” Grillby sighed and his flames went a tiny bit dimmer just for a second. “I’ll be in my tent with some food when you’ll finally see reason.”</p>
<p>Gaster watched him in silence as he walked away.</p>
<p>To be honest, he wasn’t sure he wanted to be in the company of other monsters at the moment. Or perhaps, ever again. He looked horrifying. For stars’ sake, he had two large gashes in his <em>skull</em>. The crack created by the human sword crept up from his right eye, but now was also accompanied by a similar, if smaller, crack going down from his left. Apparently they tried to heal him, but the wounds were too severe to close with magic. His right eye still had a pupil, but he couldn’t see a single thing with it.</p>
<p>By all accounts, a monster in his state should have been a pile of dust. But he wasn’t. Dead, or perhaps even a monster, at this point. Too many things have changed.</p>
<p>It felt like Wing Ding Gaster died on the surface and the current being in his place was just an impostor. A shadow.</p>
<p>The only parts that he kept from his previous self were his face, hands, and some stray bones in his upper chest area. The rest was made from this strange, shadow-like satin substance that currently held the shape of his previous silhouette, but he knew that when they found him, that wasn’t the case. Nor it was necessarily sure that this would be true in the future, if he could tell anything from the occasional stray wisp of the material escaping from his new turtleneck. The turtleneck he was given by a kind stranger to make up for the lab coat that was far beyond repair or washing.</p>
<p>His lab coat was gone. His colleagues were gone. With them, most of his friends. So far, he didn’t know of a single skeleton that survived the war, either. His <em>family-</em></p>
<p>He quickly abandoned that train of thought, for the sake of self-preservation. He couldn’t think about that. It would drive him mad.</p>
<p>At least, thank the stars, Grillby was still there. A single known face, a single friend, a single part of his past, <em>still there.</em></p>
<p>And he was offering him help. Help he so stubbornly refused. Selfishly, too. He wasn’t the only one affected by all of this. He was one of many. And one of the many was also Grillby, his <em>friend</em>, that he basically <em>ignored.</em></p>
<p>A raspy sigh escaped him. What a crappy friend he was. Grillby was right. He couldn’t stand here forever, and it wasn’t helping <em>anything</em>.</p>
<p>He slowly made his way to the tent that smelled like hamburgers and fries, unsure steps on feet that didn’t quite feel like his.</p><hr/>
<p>Grillby’s tent was slightly bigger than most, mainly because it was hosting a mountain of cooking equipment along with the fire monster. When he opened the door, the overwhelming smell of good food almost knocked Gaster over.</p>
<p>“I see you’ve decided to come.”</p>
<p>The guest just nodded slightly and entered. Grillby gestured to the improvised bed, as there wasn’t much more around to sit on. Gaster quietly accepted the offer.</p>
<p>They sat around in strange silence as the fire monster fiddled with something around his… kitchen, before he took out a serving of fries and shoved them into the skeleton’s hands. He just sighed and put the plate into his lap, looking up at Grillby. <em>“You’re cooking a lot, huh?”</em></p>
<p>“Just doing what I do best to help out.”</p>
<p>Gaster’s shoulders dropped and he didn’t seem interested in eating at all.</p>
<p>“Do you need a fork or something.”</p>
<p><em>“No, I just…”</em> Gaster had to put the fries down next to him as he started shaking. He didn’t want to spill the food all over the floor to top everything off. It was bad enough as it was. His carefully maintained shield of apathy finally crumbled and emotions started flooding in. <em>“You really are helping, aren’t you? Unlike me.”</em></p>
<p>“Wing, what are you saying.” The entire tent flickered with a cold light for a second.</p>
<p><em>"I’m. I’m useless, aren’t I? When it comes to things that actually</em> matter<em>."</em></p>
<p>“Wing.”</p>
<p>He was signing faster and faster, his hands rising with each new word. <em>“I mean, I can’t fight. I can’t heal reliably. I can’t provide food. I am not good at building things or physical labour. I-”</em></p>
<p>“Wing Ding Gaster, you’re literally the most learned monster I know.”</p>
<p><em>“But what is all my knowledge good for now?! We’re struggling for survival, not struggling about how to create a certain chemical compound or how to crunch through physics equations! Right now, all I know how to do, is to stand around and be useless, which is-”</em> Finally, he broke into tears and his hands refused to form another comprehensible sign. Shaking, he tried to wipe the tears off his face, but it was futile.</p>
<p>Grillby plopped himself down next to him and spoke even softer than usual, his flames warm and kind. “Wing, it’s okay.”</p>
<p><em>"No, it’s</em> not. <em>I’m useless. Worthless."</em> Gaster replied, the signs small and barely distinct enough to be understood. Then he just wrapped his hands around himself.</p>
<p>“Come here.”</p>
<p>The skeleton looked at his friend through a veil of tears, and realised that the fire monster was offering him an open embrace. With a sob, he nodded, and accepted it.</p>
<p>Getting a hug from Grillby was strange, but also very calming. He let the gentle, warm flames climb up his back, knowing very well that <em>this</em> fire would never hurt him. He buried his face in Grillby’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around him, perhaps squeezing a little bit tighter than he should have. Still, he couldn’t stop shaking. “Alright now, listen to me,” Grillby started quietly, rubbing circles into his friend’s back, “You don’t have to be useful to be valuable. You’re a friend and a great person, and that’s all we need. <em>Especially</em> now.”</p>
<p>A hic escaped the skeleton. His tears evaporated with a quiet hiss as they fell onto Grillby’s back in spades.</p>
<p>“Yes, I mean that. And don’t worry. I’m sure that we’ll need a physicist, or a chemist, or an engineer in due time. It looks like we’ll be stuck here a bit. We’ll need to build houses, provide energy and warm water. But until then, you can help us out just by <em>living</em>.”</p>
<p>They stayed in silence for a good few minutes before Gaster finally stopped crying uncontrollably. He took a deep breath and slowly let go, looking at Grillby, tears still clouding his vision. <em>“Thank you. I just…”</em> he started, before his gaze drifted to the floor, <em>"I was there one second, doing regular maintenance on their equipment and discussing ideas with them, and the next moment they’re all… gone. I need to work on</em> something, <em>otherwise I feel like I might go mad thinking about it."</em></p>
<p>“I understand. What happened was horrible. You have my condolences. May their souls rest easy.”</p>
<p>They stayed quiet for a full minute, the silence somber, but necessary.</p>
<p>Then, Grillby stood up, gently poked Gaster in his shoulder to get his attention, and pointed towards the untouched fries. “However, you should eat first, you know that a hungry mind will play tricks on you. Then we’ll figure something out for you to do. I’ll also get you something to drink. If you continue to cry like this, you’ll be <em>bone-dry</em> in no time.”</p>
<p>As Grillby turned around, he heard the tell-tale sound of a skeletal hand colliding with a skull. When he got back with a glass of water, he could still see the conflicted expression on Gaster’s face. He would seem angry, if it weren’t for the hesitant smile in his eyes, even through lingering tears. <em>“Stars, Grillby, that was horrible. I didn’t know you did puns.”</em></p>
<p>“I don’t,” Grillby replied, his face completely serious, as he shoved the drink into the skeleton’s hands.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Yeah, sure. If you continue that I’ll have to start firing off abysmal dad jokes by next week. Could you imagine that? ‘Hey Gaster, I’m stuck on this-’ ‘Hello Stuck On This, I’m Gaster.’”</em>
</p>
<p>Grillby couldn’t help but start laughing in his strange, crackly way. This was much better, much closer to the Wing he knew than the emotionless statue that stood under the barrier. Gaster joined him just moments later with his raspy voice.</p>
<p>At least for a moment, everything was well again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Doc!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Gaster has a PhD from the university of Impostor Syndrome and Completely Healthy Coping Mechanisms (I Swear).</p>
<p>Warning for very slight, goopster-typical body horror in this chapter.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gaster tried to gently rub at his eye sockets to get rid of the magic residue left after all the crying, but he had to stop almost immediately. It seemed like touching his right one at all was a terrible idea. Apart from a twinge of pain, that he expected, an awful feeling he didn’t want to think about washed over him. He was glad Grillby was looking away and didn’t see him wince.</p>
<p>He mentally added it to the list of things this… state was different in.</p>
<p>After his previous breakdown, Grillby was adamant to let him rest at <em>least</em> for a while. His feet went over the bed’s edge, but Gaster ended up reluctantly accepting. It was a nice gesture. And Grillby needed to clean up a bit.</p>
<p>He didn’t sleep a wink. Instead, he stared at the tent’s roof and listened to the comfortably familiar cacophony of sounds made by dishes being put away.</p>
<p>Grillby must’ve been aware. “Maybe you should write down all that knowledge you gave. I don’t think anyone thought about bringing textbooks down here in the rush,” he threw him an idea.</p>
<p>“Mhm,” Gaster replied absentmindedly, knowing very well the fire monster wasn’t looking at him. No use in signing.</p>
<p>“And since we’ll probably be stuck here a while,” Grillby paused as he lifted a stack of plates onto one of the higher shelves with a huff, “It’d be better to start while all that knowledge’s still intact. Even you forget things.” Another pause, another huff. “You’d need a lot of paper, but I heard that the Queen is a big fan of education. And paper isn’t exactly in high demand right now anyways.”</p>
<p>Gaster grumbled another agreement, this time little bit more genuine. Now that he thought about it, it wasn’t a terrible idea. Time-consuming and tedious? Sure. But it would take his mind off things and hopefully even produce something worthwhile. Useful.</p>
<p>Gears in his head started turning. He never wrote anything like this before, how would he do it? More like textbooks, or references? How would he divide the areas of study? What sort of vocabulary-</p>
<p>“I just hope whatever tent you’re residing in can house both you <em>and</em> all the material I know you’ll accumulate.”</p>
<p>Oh no. The skeleton decently coughed into his hand to bring Grillby’s eyes to him, but he couldn’t tear his own off the tent’s roof. Suddenly it was the most captivating piece of tarp he’d ever seen. <em>“I don’t have a tent.”</em></p>
<p>“Oh, so you’re sharing with someone. That’s going to be pretty packed then.” Gaster was fairly sure it was mostly Grillby’s wishful thinking that made him so slow on the uptake.</p>
<p>
  <em>“No. I just. Straight up don’t have a tent, I didn’t need it. I’m not even sure where I’d get one. I didn’t bother asking.”</em>
</p>
<p>The silence was deafening. Oh, how <em>fascinating</em> were those thread patterns!</p>
<p>Grillby stared at his friend in disbelief as he ran his hand through the flames on his head. It’s been over a <em>week</em>. This man <em>couldn’t</em> be serious.</p>
<p>But knowing him, he absolutely was.</p>
<p>“Wing Ding Gaster.”</p>
<p>Uh oh. The skeleton in question was hoisted up into a sitting position by the scruff of his turtleneck and suddenly the fire monster’s face was unavoidable. Gaster smiled at him nervously. <em>“It’s not a big deal at all! Skeletons aren’t demanding sleepers-”</em></p>
<p>“Yes, I know, you told me before, but not to <em>this</em> degree. Are you seriously telling me you haven’t even <em>thought</em> about getting a tent since we’ve gotten here.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“…Yes?”</em>
</p>
<p>Grillby took a step back and groaned. It’s been a hot second since the skeleton saw him this frustrated with something, he realised. Why was he going to his cabinets?</p>
<p>He got his answer very quickly as Grillby spun back around and stopped a frying pan just inches away from his face. Gaster nearly fell off the bed. “Alright, listen. <em>Right now,</em> we’ll go and get you a tent. We’ll build it. And without any other delay, <em>you’ll go to sleep in it and get some proper rest.</em> If you don’t, I will <em>personally</em> knock you out. Understood.”</p>
<p>Gaster nodded <em>very</em> enthusiastically, staring at the piece of iron right in front of him. The message couldn’t be clearer.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Thankfully, getting a tent wasn’t a problem. It was quite a small one, but it would be enough. They got a few strange looks, having come for it so late, but Grillby’s unusually hot stare stopped any questions from being voiced. Gaster just shot the staff a guilty smile and shrugged.</p>
<p>They tried to build it as close to Grillby’s tent as they could, but the camp was already too packed. It ended by it’s edge anyways. And after Gaster tripped over the tent poles several times, always followed by a nice faceplant, Grillby was the only one really building. The skeleton lay on the cave’s floor instead. Unable to form a coherent sentence. It only took the slightest physical activity for his lack of sleep to finally catch up with him.</p>
<p>When Grillby lifted him up from the floor, he just dully internally noted that he felt like the fire monster couldn’t get a good grip on him. He wasn’t sure why. And was too tired to think.</p>
<p>The bed he landed in was a little short, but it had a pillow he could bury his face in. And someone threw a heavy, warm blanket over his back. It was nice enough.</p>
<p>He was unconscious within seconds.</p>
<hr/>
<p>When Gaster finally woke up, he felt awful. Rested? Yes, but the fact that his mind now more or less functioned properly was both a blessing <em>and</em> a curse. That he was distressed enough to not sleep or eat for a week and, to top it off, <em>not consider that a problem</em>, had some… implications for his mental state. Right now, he was thinking clearly, but he certainly wasn’t <em>fine</em>.</p>
<p>Blegh. Still, better make use of this fragile stability while it lasted. He turned his head, finally letting some light reach his eyes, and looked around. He was alone. He tried to sit up and immediately quickly noticed two things: he must’ve stayed still the entire time, because his neck hurt like <em>hell</em>, and his arms didn’t support his weight how he was used to. They didn’t feel… solid enough. As he blinked at them in his tired gaze, he realised that they were <em>dripping</em> and that his elbow didn’t seem to exist.</p>
<p>He let out a strangled noise of panic as he tried to shake the droplets off, but calmed down as soon as he realised that the arms seemed to be in their proper shape and viscosity already. It must have had something to do with waking up. What an exciting addition to the ‘strange things that my body does now’ list.</p>
<p>He tried to stand up and immediately regretted it. His knees gave out the moment he put any weight on them and he, once again, fell face first to the floor.</p>
<p>Addendum: legs also needed time to solidify. More than arms.</p>
<p>He should actually start writing these things down, but his trusty notepad and pencil went to hell along his coat. He grumbled and carefully stood up on trembling feet again. They didn’t buckle this time. He breathed a sigh of relief. At least the process seemed to be fairly quick.</p>
<p>Gaster looked around. A small, folding table appeared in his tent while he was out. On it, a glass of water, that he gratefully took, a beat up-journal and a… fountain pen?</p>
<p>Huh. He flipped through the journal only to find it empty, apart from a single piece of paper inserted behind the front cover.</p>
<p><em>Figured you’d find some use for these. I’ll give you some space for now, but when you want to talk again, come to my tent. And if you don’t come when you want because one of those “I’m not important enough to bother anyone with things I need” moods, I</em> will <em>make bone soup into the first special on the menu once I reopen, and that is a threat.</em></p>
<p>
  <em>Take care.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>—Grillby</em>
</p>
<p>The skeleton sighed, a slight twinge of guilt going through him. He must’ve really worried his friend. Even if everything he told him was really just the tip of the iceberg. He pocketed the journal and pen, knowing that if he talked to him again right now, he’d inevitably end up worrying him even further.</p>
<p>He’ll have to thank him later, then. For now, he could bury himself in work and maintain this shaky stability with it for a while. Grillby deserved some rest too.</p>
<p>So that was the plan.</p>
<p>He walked outside his tent and nearly tripped over one of the cords keeping it propped up. Right, no depth perception. At least <em>now</em> he was able to determine the problem and keep himself from actually falling. A few monsters he didn’t know must’ve noticed the ruckus and greeted him. He just waved back awkwardly as he gathered himself. Guess those were his new neighbours.</p>
<p>He took the journal back out and looked around. Well, he’d have to talk to people anyways. Might as well make himself a map of this place in the process of searching for wherever the paper stockpile was.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Most monsters he talked with treated him with strange respect. The moment he realised it was because they thought he was a solider, he kept trying to tell them that he was something more like a doctor. If anything, a scientist. He didn’t know how much of it got through. The level at which they understood sign language varied wildly.</p>
<p>Still, he managed to get a hold of a decent amount of paper fairly quickly, and he set up his writing workstation outside. The silence of his tent was something he knew he would get lost in far too easily. And possibly end up with his mind in places he really didn’t want it to go. The gentle hum of life might’ve been a little distracting, but it was also grounding. And thankfully, nobody really bothered him unless they had to, as the moment he became the biggest consumer of paper in the area, the word of his project spread quickly. It was… kind of hard to miss a skeleton surrounded by folders and stacks of paper, writing away like his life depended upon it.</p>
<p>They now began calling him ‘doc’, which he tried to explain was still a misunderstanding, as he didn’t have a degree of any kind. It didn’t help. Nevertheless, it was at least marginally more pleasant than everyone drawing conclusions from his cracks.</p>
<p>It only took a few weeks before his work attracted even <em>more</em> work.</p>
<p>“Hello?”</p>
<p>The voice wasn’t Grillby’s, so Gaster concluded that the greeting was aimed at someone else. He didn’t even look up from what he was writing.</p>
<p>“Doc, <em>please!</em>” the voice squeaked more forcefully and actually startled Gaster, making him almost drop his pen. He blinked at the monster in surprise. She was some kind of a mole, a helmet on her head.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Ah, sorry, you were talking to me? I’m not actually a doctor, I don’t have a doctora-”</em>
</p>
<p>“Yes!” the monster jumped up and waved their arms around. “And I don’t care about your, uh, lack of a title! You’re still the physics guy, right?”</p>
<p>Gaster nodded slowly, noted something down onto his current paper and put it to the side. At least this one seemed to have understood him well. <em>“I guess so. Wing Ding Gaster, what can I help you with?”</em> He paused. <em>“Is this about how much paper I’m using?”</em> he added, looking guilty.</p>
<p>“Ah, what? No, no!” She looked almost frantic, the amount of energy in each of her movements making Gaster feel somewhat uneasy. “We’re scouting the caverns, and we think we found one suitable for a city, but, uh, we need help with evaluating it’s stability and if it’s even safe to bore out a bigger entrance. We have our guesses, but none of us ever worked with, uh, such large projects, so we’d like to run it by you. And you’re like the only guy with any more expertise than us around.”</p>
<p>The last sentence cut into Gaster like a hot knife. On one hand, it was nice to be needed.</p>
<p>On the other hand, he was so awfully alone.</p>
<p>The monster immediately noticed his sudden drop in mood. “Ah, uh, sorry! Didn’t mean to touch a nerve.”</p>
<p><em>“It’s okay. I’ll come with you once I put all of this away, alright?”</em> he signed back and smiled shakily, gesturing to the stacks around him.</p>
<p>“Sure! I’ll be here. Oh- I forgot to introduce myself! The name’s Vrt!” she offered Gaster a paw. The skeleton, although still trembling, accepted it.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Nice to meet you. I’ll be happy to help.”</em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>It turned out that Vrt was a leader of a scouting team made out of monsters of talents similar to hers. That is, monsters that were already used to spending time underground before the war happened. They were located in a big tent on one of the settlement’s edges.</p>
<p>Gaster stuck out like a sore thumb. Even normally he was considered a tall monster, but he was literally twice as high as anyone in there. They sat him at the only higher table they had, and it was still just a smidge too low. In just minutes, they started running around him, asking him questions, filling him in on the project, just saying hi… It was overwhelming, especially after how he spent his last few weeks doing. To top it off, they all <em>insisted</em> on calling him ‘doc’, even if he kept correcting them. He didn’t feel worthy of that title. They used it anyways.</p>
<p>But, in a way, this crowded work was pleasant, too. After a few days, he grew used to it and found it nice to have someone around, reminding him of the fact that his work mattered. A break from his echo chamber.</p>
<p>He tried to not think about the fact that they needed him only because there was no one else.</p>
<p>The project was ordered by the Dreemurs themselves, since the current settlement wasn’t sustainable. Although long-term, the cavern they found wouldn’t be sustainable either, at least it would spread the population out into a more reasonable space, and allow more, less rushed research into the mountain.</p>
<p>It took a few days, but Gaster did a comprehensive check of all the records and plans they’ve made so far. The cave needed some roof and wall reinforcements, and at Gaster’s request, the team was in progress of mapping out the cavern systems underneath the main floor, so that he could create a maximum-load chart. The city would need to be packed rather tightly, and while it seemed like the found cavern was structurally almost perfect, a single point of collapse could have catastrophic consequences on the city as a whole.</p>
<p>He was in the middle of crunching through some new data when Asgore came in. The large shadow startled him so much, he almost fell off his chair. If Gaster dwarfed the members of the scouting team, Asgore made them looks like <em>ants</em>.</p>
<p>“Howdy, everyone!” the giant smiled at them as the skeleton tried to gather himself. The team chirped many greetings back, obviously on good terms with him.</p>
<p>Gaster never saw the King before, but there was only <em>one</em> goat monster with a crown in the underground. And, to be honest, any monster of such power made him nervous.</p>
<p>Even if he was big, white, and fluffy.</p>
<p>It was probably a conscious act of mercy that his gaze settled on the skeleton at the very end, after he managed to stop looking like a startled rabbit. <em>“Good evening, Your Majesty.”</em></p>
<p>“Oh, you must be the doctor Gaster!” Asgore grinned widely as he made his way to the skeleton, the crew obediently making him a corridor wide enough for him to walk though without the threat of stepping on any of them. “I’ve heard many good things about you!”</p>
<p><em>“Thank you, Your Majesty, but I’m not actually a doc-”</em> Gaster protested, still sheepish, but wasn’t allowed to finish.</p>
<p>“Doesn’t matter. Your work <em>is</em> on the level of a doctor, right? Then I’m making you one now.” Asgore patted the skeleton’s shoulders in a faux knighting gesture, smile going wide as the now-doctor’s cheeks flushed with purple. “There. How’s the project going, <em>doctor</em> Gaster?”</p>
<p>The entire team around them burst into quiet giggles.</p>
<p>
  <em>“The- the load-bearing plans should be ready within a week, Your Majesty. The cave seems to be in an excellent shape, which is nothing short of a miracle.”</em>
</p>
<p>“That’s wonderful news!” the King roared with a hearty laugh and patted Gaster on the back, which made the skeleton flinch. “Ah, sorry,” Asgore reined back the volume and gave the doctor an apologetic glance. “Didn’t mean to startle you.”</p>
<p>“Ah, the <em>doc</em>’s slightly jumpy, but, uh, he’s a wonderful help!” chirped Vrt as she walked by, loud enough for the entire tent to hear. She grinned at the doctor as the entire team chimed in with words of agreement. Gaster wasn’t sure there was any white left on his face.</p>
<p>“That’s great!” Asgore grinned at the team leader and then turned back to the doctor, now as quiet as he could be, just for him to hear. “You’re good at physics and chemistry, hm?”</p>
<p><em>“And some engineering, yes,”</em> Gaster nodded hesitantly.</p>
<p>“Oh, golly, that’s a lot! Wonderful!” the King beamed. “Once we have a city, me and Tori thought to hire some scientists directly to help out with things like these, to make sure we can keep up with everyone’s needs.” Asgore waited for a second for Gaster to react, but he seemed to be too dazed by the King’s presence to get where he was going. So he just sighed and continued. “We’ll be looking for someone to fill the position of the Royal Scientist. They’d have to work on assignments we’d give them, but they’d get generous funding and freedom to work on their own projects in-between work. I just wanted to see you in person before offering you the spot.”</p>
<p>Gaster blinked at him several times, completely dumbfounded. Unable to reply. Asgore just grinned back.</p>
<p>“You don’t have to tell us wherever you’ll take it or not on the spot. Just think about it. We’ll get in touch to get your response once we build the new city, hm?” Then Asgore raised his voice again, loud enough for everyone to hear. “Now, now, I didn’t mean to interrupt you while you work. Just remember what I said, okay?” he winked at the doctor and left the tent.</p>
<p>He just stood there for several minutes, absolutely stunned. Any color that was there previously drained out of his face.</p>
<p>Finally, Vrt tore him out of his daze with a shove. “You’re allowed to smile now, doc!”</p>
<p>Gaster turned to her, wearing a rather conflicted expression. He signed very, very slowly. <em>“He only offered it to me because there’s no one else, did he?”</em></p>
<p>He jumped up as Vrt groaned loudly in response. He sure was frustrating a lot of monsters lately. “No, you silly! He offered it to you because you’re <em>qualified</em> and nice to work with! You’re great in uh, like, <em>three</em> entire fields, no?!” Gaster watched as she waved her paws around in exasperation, unable to respond. And surprised. “Jeez, doc! For a scientist of your caliber, you can be, uh, truly dense sometimes!”</p>
<p>She grabbed the bottom hem of the doctor’s turtleneck and pulled him down to her height. Her stare was fierce and her grin wide. “<em>Smile</em>, doctor Wing Ding Gaster! The King’s, uh, a kind guy, but he doesn’t give things out of pity! Even if you don’t trust <em>your</em> or <em>our</em> judgement of your, uh, skills, you can <em>always</em> trust Asgore’s!”</p>
<p>Once again, the entire team echoed her sentiment. Gaster’s expression softened. Maybe they had a point.</p>
<p>“Alright, that’s not a full smile, but, uh, good enough! Small steps,” Vrt laughed and let him go. He stumbled back to his full height and sighed as she vanished from the tent, towards one of her many responsibilities.</p>
<p>Alright.</p>
<p><em>Doctor</em> Wing Ding Gaster will try to not second guess if what others think of him is deserved.</p>
<p>At least for a while.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading! &lt;3 Anyone who finds a  grammar goof, typo, strange sentence structures or a strange preposition (I feel like I missed some of those this time) and lets me know will get a virtual cookie from me.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Check</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Gaster decides to check up on his friend and ends up getting checked himself, which results in a rare light show. Totally planned for it to go like that. Absolutely.</p><p>Warning for talks of death in this chapter, nothing graphic though.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the next few weeks, Gaster ended up being incredibly busy. Thanks to the King’s approval of the doctor, he had been sought out to help with providing the city with energy and light. It was hard work, since their resources were still severely limited, but Gaster tried his best anyways. The final plan ended up being propellers sat in the secondary caves around Home to catch any wind coming through, converting it into kinetic energy to use, and a system of artificial lights and crystals to spread it out.</p><p>The energy output wouldn’t be too reliable <em>or</em> high, but it would be a good enough start. And for now, monster magic could cover anything it wouldn’t.</p><p>So, with plans complete, checked and re-checked, the construction of Home began. And since apart from the rare check-up on some of the propellers and small tweaks, everything was in the builder’s hands, Gaster found himself working on the textbooks once again. He <em>coudl’ve</em> spent the time with with Vrt and her team, but he found their frantic energy perhaps a little bit too much for comfort. Besides, he was starting to feel like he was going to plummet again soon, and he didn’t want to talk to any of them about how lately he’d been feeling unsteady on his own feet. They were coworkers, and friendly ones at that, but they were not his <em>friends</em>.</p><p>He sighed, took out his journal and flipped through it. It was starting to fill up nicely. Maps, various notes on his state, project ideas… At the back, he had a list of names, most of them crossed out. As time went on and he kept asking around, it became increasingly clear that Grillby might very well be the only monster he knew well before the war broke out that made it.</p><p>He lightly tapped the cap of his pen on the page, deep in thought. He… He couldn’t think of any more names to add on the list. His former research team was there. They were gone. He wrote down his family, however distant and passive their relationship was. All crossed out. Skeletons were a pretty tightly-knight community, he was one of the rare outliers that left it, so they were probably together when the war hit. Some friends from his studies. Nobody had seen them. Grillby. And then… and then…</p><p>He really didn’t have many friends, did he?</p><p>The fire monster, being of a significantly more social profession originally, didn’t seem to be the same case. He still must’ve had at least <em>some</em> friends left. Gaster knew for a fact that he still had acquaintances of the same species.</p><p>The doctor sighed and closed the book. He should really pay him a visit. Thank him and check up on him, maybe.</p>
<hr/><p>Tap. Tap-tap. Tap.</p><p>Canvas doors really weren’t built for knock codes.</p><p>“Wing, come in.” Oh thank the stars, he still remembered.</p><p>He entered with a wave. The fire monster seemed to be finishing up a batch of hamburgers, giving each a touch of magic and, once again, let him sit on his bed. “Happy to see you. So you want to talk, I presume.”</p><p>
  <em>“Yes. Thanks for the tent. And food. And water. And the journal and pen. Just… Thanks in general. For everything.”</em>
</p><p>“No problem.” There. The last burger was finished. Grillby turned to Gaster properly. “Did they help. How are you doing.”</p><p><em>“They did, I feel better. But I-”</em> the skeleton paused, unsure how to explain himself. He could <em>try</em> to downplay how he was feeling, but it wouldn’t work. He was pretty sure he looked about as happy as a wet rat. <em>“I still feel kinda awful. I’m afraid that might be my default state for a bit.”</em></p><p>“Figured. This was the hardest I’ve seen you crash in years. No wonder, considering the situation.”</p><p>Suddenly, Gaster froze. And then looked Grillby up and down, searching for something. Anger? Hater? <em>Fear?</em> Maybe.</p><p>He had to-</p><p>He had to ask.</p><p>
  <em>“Actually, how much do you know about my… situation in particular?”</em>
</p><p>“Not much. I don’t think anyone does, you haven’t exactly talked about it. But I’ve seen the aftermath and that’s enough for me. You were in the healer’s care for quite a bit. I don’t think anything <em>good</em> could have caused that.” Gaster felt a twinge of guilt as he saw the fire monster shiver. “For <em>you</em> to get dragged into battle… Do you want to talk about it now.”</p><p>The doctor hesitated with his reply. He <em>did</em>, but…</p><p>“You don’t have to, of course.”</p><p>Gaster decisively shook his head. <em>“No. It’s objectively the best to talk about it while I still feel…”</em> he trailed off, unsure of what word to use. <em>“Stable, I guess. It’s just… hard.”</em></p><p>“I know. Most important things are. Take your time.”</p><p>The skeleton smiled, tired. <em>“Thanks. Great listener Grillby strikes again.”</em></p><p>“It was like half of my job as a bartender. You bet I’m good at it,” his friend replied with a warmer tinge to his flames. “So.”</p><p>Gaster’s smile vanished. <em>“Alright. I already told you I was in a medical tent, doing my usual stuff. I don’t know how a human got that far behind the front lines, but they just… Did. And they…”</em> He stopped and stared at his shaking hands. Stars, why were some words so hard? <em>“Killed. Everyone else. It was so fast. And then they came after me.”</em></p><p>He looked at Grillby, who nodded encouragingly, quiet and patient. So far, he wasn’t telling him anything groundbreaking. He probably figured out as much on his own.</p><p>Alright, alright. He gathered himself again. <em>“And they did this.”</em> He just pointed to his right eye socket, careful not to touch it. Even thinking about it stirred up far too much discomfort. Better to move onto something else quickly. <em>“Can’t see out of that one since. No depth perception. Fun stuff.”</em></p><p>He noticed that Grillby blinked in surprise at this piece of information. It made sense that he wouldn’t realise it, considering he still had a pupil. So it seemed like the medics didn’t disclose to him the extent of his… condition. He kind of wished that just this once, they would break the patient-doctor confidentiality. It would make it an awful lot easier if he didn’t need to be the one explaining things.</p><p>He sighed and his gaze drifted downwards. <em>“I panicked. I must’ve…”</em> He had to pause, <em>again</em>, stars, no, okay, that word wasn’t coming out.</p><p>Inhale, exhale. <em>“I was dusting and grabbed the human’s soul,”</em> he signed rapidly, almost hoping Grillby didn’t catch it. He peeled his eyes off the floor and looked at him.</p><p>Judging by his look, he understood. Gaster couldn’t handle it and his gaze drifted away, anywhere, <em>anywhere</em> but the fire monster’s face. But the dimmer lighting of the entire tent was inescapable. <em>“I threw it out just seconds later. I was too weak to handle it. I guess I absorbed it just partially then.”</em></p><p>Deep breath. Why did the tent just keep getting darker? <em>“Then, nothing. Until I woke up underneath the barrier, I can’t remember anything. But I…”</em></p><p>He couldn’t. He couldn’t say it. It was too much.</p><p>
  <em>“Grillby. I’m gonna need you to check me.”</em>
</p><p>The tent lit up again, the color colder than before. “What. Are you hurt. Are you alri-”</p><p>
  <em>“No, no! I’m going to let you do a deeper check. Just… trust me. You’ll understand.”</em>
</p><p>The fire monster met the skeleton’s pleading look. And then hesitantly nodded.</p><p>Gaster felt a familiar, inquisitive feeling wash over him. There it was. The moment of truth. Grillby will hate him. Or be scared of him. But there was no going back now.</p><p>He let the defenses around his soul melt away and shivered as the feeling went through his very marrow.</p><p>The tent went almost black. Gaster sunk and his pupils vanished. So that was it, huh?</p><p>And then the tent was flooded by the brightest <em>white</em> he’d ever seen as he was pulled into a rib-crushing embrace.</p><p>“Wing, I could <em>never!</em>”</p><p>Was Grillby <em>shouting?</em> The light was wild and flickering, but powerful.</p><p>“I could <em>never</em> hate you, you- you absolute <em>buffoon</em>!”</p><p>Oh. Gaster forgot that checks this deep gave glimpses of the mind, too. He tried to grumble in protest, but the fire monster only squeezed him tighter. A pained squeak escaped him instead.</p><p>“Goodness, no, sorry!” His friend pulled away and the light dimmed to his normal brightness. Still, his flames stayed white and flickering.</p><p>Gaster saw him wipe something off from underneath his glasses. He leaned over to him, eyes full of concern. <em>“Grillby, are you alright?”</em></p><p>“Y-yes,” the fire monster lied, looking to the side and forcing his flames to go back to orange. If he didn’t stutter, he might’ve even fooled his friend.</p><p>Instead, he just saw Gaster lean back, his eyes now filling up with guilt. <em>“Is it because of my-”</em></p><p>“No,” the fire monster replied, finally managing to settle down his nerves. The flickering calmed down. “Wing, I’ve seen you cry when you stepped on a snail by accident. Whatever happened wasn’t your fault. I don’t hate you. I’m not afraid of you.”</p><p>The look on Gaster’s face almost sent him into another light show. It was disbelief. Guilt. Stars, he didn’t like any of what he was seeing. <em>“But- You understand that such high LV couldn’t have been just from a single human, I-”</em></p><p>Grillby sighed and gently pushed his friend’s hands down to stop him from finishing the sentence. “Yes, I do understand the implications. I’m not stupid. What I said still stands,” he interrupted him softly. When he was fairly sure he wouldn’t continue objecting, he lifted his hands and just smiled at him. “The fact that you’re here, telling me all this and acting like you are, proves to me that you’re still the same, overly anxious and kind Wing you were before. You don’t have to worry so much. You’re still my friend.”</p><p>Gaster didn’t move for a second. <em>“Alright.”</em></p><p>“So you believe me.”</p><p><em>"I believe</em> you <em>believe that. I’m not sure I believe it… myself."</em></p><p>“Still a good start, though,” the fire monster smiled with a yellow tinge to his flames and patted him on the shoulder encouragingly. The doctor had to return him a soft smile after that.</p><p>“Is your soul doing alright.”</p><p>Gaster’s smile fell again. <em>“It’s holding together. Apparently it could have some long-term effects, but for now, it just looks ugly. And nobody knows what those long-term effects could be.”</em> Then he shrugged and a fragile, yet hopeful expression returned. <em>“If I’m lucky enough, I won’t get to see any.”</em></p><p>“And if you’re not.”</p><p><em>“Then that will be a problem for future me to handle! I’m sure I’ll have less on my plate by then.”</em> Gaster wrung his hands together. He was getting restless. He didn’t come here to discuss himself and he was starting to have it when it came to <em>this</em> topic. <em>“But enough about me! I dropped so much onto you and I can’t overstate how grateful I am you listened, but!”</em> He evaded Grillby’s look again. He was sure he looked at least slightly guilty and it just wouldn’t do if he made his friend any more worried right now. <em>“It truly made me feel better, thank you. But you’re also my friend. And I haven’t really… Been too good of a friend in return.”</em></p><p>“Wing, you-”</p><p>
  <em>“Pleaseletmefinish.”</em>
</p><p>How the fire monster understood that, he had no idea, but he truly did quiet down.</p><p><em>“What I’ve been meaning to say is,”</em> he continued, cautious to not let his nerves ruin his signs again, <em>"Is that I should have asked earlier. Grillby, are</em> you <em>okay? Are you doing alright?"</em></p><p>His friend tapped his chin a few times, thinking his response over. “I’ve had it easier than you.”</p><p>
  <em>“You know that’s not what I asked about.”</em>
</p><p>Grillby evaded Gaster’s concerned look, albeit subconsciously. “I guess I’ve been doing… adequately. Not great, not terrible. I have a decent support network and elementals always had fickle lifespans, so death is nothing new to me. Still…” He sighed, gesturing to the burgers behind him. “I guess you already noticed that I haven’t been making anything that requires larger amounts of water. Suddenly mortality feels awfully real. I could get shaken by something, spill a single pot on myself and poof.” He tapped his chest lightly. “It seeps through, extinguishes my core and I’m dust. Kinda silly, considering I used to boil things every day, huh.”</p><p><em>“Not really. I used to rub my eyes all the time and now look at me,”</em> the skeleton smiled carefully and made a circle in the air around his right eye socket, <em>“Can’t even do this without getting antsy.”</em></p><p>“Yes, but you actually have a reason-”</p><p>
  <em>“Yeesh, are you even listening to yourself? Looks like we’re both stubborn fools. It’s not like you don’t have a reason. The fact that it didn’t happen to you personally doesn’t make it any less real. A war happened, we’re all various degrees of messed up by it in general. We shouldn’t make it a contest to see whose trauma is more real or deep.”</em>
</p><p>Grillby’s flames went a little bit more mellow. “Sometimes you’d need that reminder too, I think.”</p><p>
  <em>“Touché. As I said, we’re both stubborn fools. Guess we’ll have to keep calling each other out.”</em>
</p><p>“Perhaps,” the fire monster let out a crackly chuckle. “Thanks. I’ll keep what you said in mind.”</p><p><em>“Good,”</em> Gaster smiled back and for once, it was a wide, genuine smile. <em>“Actually… Would it help you if you had like, waterproof clothing?”</em></p><p>Grillby tugged at his worn-down suit. “Probably. But truly waterproof materials also tend to be rather suffocating, and when it comes to a fire core, you need it to be actually fireproof too. This is the best we’ve got. It has a decently high flash-point, but water seeps through and it’s kind of stiff.”</p><p><em>“I’ll keep that in mind. What is that material called?”</em> The doctor took out his journal and scratched a short note into it.</p><p>“Hm, I’m not sure, but it’s the same blend used by all fire monsters. Are you planning something.”</p><p><em>“Maybe. Or maybe I’m just trying to figure out ways how I could help you,”</em> Gaster replied and closed the book, pocketing it again. <em>“If you ever come up with something I could do for you, tell me, I’ll be happy to repay you however I can. I promise.”</em></p><p>“Be careful there, Wing,” Grillby leaned in and a mischievous purple flame ran across his face. “When I get my bar going again, I might just take you up on that word.”</p><p><em>“Please do.”</em> The doctor stopped for a second and then snapped his fingers, a realisation hitting him. <em>“Are you going to set up in Home?”</em></p><p>“I plan to. Something small. I’ve been thinking about calling it…” The fire monster paused for effect, and his friend leaned in anticipation. Then he threw out his arms in a grandiose gesture: “Grillby’s.”</p><p>Gaster burst out into giggles. <em>"Congratulations Grillby, you’re</em> almost <em>as bad at naming things as the King. You’ll have to work a little bit more to reach his level, though."</em></p><p>“Seems like it.” The tent was once again filled with light of the comfortable yellow hue. “Speaking of Asgore. Heard you’re officially a doctor now.”</p><p>The fire monster couldn’t help but to crackle as he saw purple overtake his friend’s face. <em>“I. Guess so. His Majesty just kind of came in and made me one. That’s going to be a fun one to explain when someone asks me about what my thesis was.”</em></p><p>“You’d better start sciencing again and make something big so that no one ever questions your credentials, then. Planning on getting a lab.” His voice was as monotone as always, but the skeleton recognized the question very well.</p><p><em>“It’s called research, Grillby, and yes, in fact. I’ve been offered the position of the Royal Scientist and with that comes a lab and perhaps even a team, if there’d be anyone willing to work with me. My… my own team. With me as the leader.”</em> Gaster stopped at the realisation. That would be a first, actually. He always just rode along, keeping his own projects as a hobby.</p><p>“That seems exciting. So you plan on accepting, then.”</p><p>The doctor leaned back. <em>“Maybe. Getting a lab, however small, just like that, is awfully tempting.”</em> He scratched his nose and his mind wandered off. <em>“Everything in Home is going to be a little bit more cramped than it was on the surface, but we’ll have to do with that for now.”</em></p><p>Gaster grumbled something indiscernible and turned his gaze upwards, staring at nothing in particular. <em>“Do you think this will ever feel like home?”</em></p><p>“With my bar and your lab, it might be off to a decent start.”</p><p>
  <em>“I hope so. I miss… I miss it.”</em>
</p><p>“Me too.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sssssssurprise update, totally not supposed to work on anything else right now</p><p>as always: if you see an error and tell me about it, I'll love ya</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Echoes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Gaster finally gets a lab and it reminds him of Things.</p><p>In which the rare and elusive happy Gaster appears!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gaster woke up early that day, stirred from his sleep by the uncomfortable feeling of what he was sleeping on being just a tad too short. To hell with being tall, he just wanted to fit a bed.</p><p>Well, at least he’ll have a proper one soon. Maybe even a <em>chair?</em> It hasn’t even been a year since the barrier was put up, and their first city was almost ready. All public utilities were finished and more at-risk groups of monsters had already moved into their new, if slightly cramped, residences. Anything was better than tents. And according to the construction crew, the rest of the buildings would be finished within mere months. The pace at which they worked was nothing short of breakneck.</p><p>They must’ve been excited about finally having a proper home, too.</p><p>The doctor got up onto his feet with now a carefully rehearsed set of pauses so that he had actual joints to lean on. Still, it felt foreign. Like his center of gravity was in a different place than he was used to.</p><p>Well, no use mulling over that now. He quickly changed into something he could go out in and poked his head through the canvas door. Several torches were still sputtering last bits of flame, but nobody bothered to rekindle them. With that and the amount of white light that filtered through the barrier, it must’ve been early morning. That… actually played in his favour. He didn’t feel like he could fall asleep again and he wanted to see something for a while now anyways.</p><p>Carefully, he started making his way from the tent village to Home. He was getting better at evading cords and pegs, but it was better to take extra care, especially at such early hours. He really wasn’t feeling up to having a shouting match with a sleep-deprived monster.</p><p>His advancement was so painfully slow he was afraid he might not make it in time, but there was no need. When he entered the cavern, it was still dark and (mostly) silent. The only sound he could make out was a muffled conversation of two early workers in the distance. He breathed out with relief and sat down, shuffling for a minute before he found a comfortable position, before he decided to lay down instead. He might be waiting for a hot minute, and staring up at the ceiling would give him some wicked neck pain otherwise.</p><p>He was almost drifting off to sleep when it began. A silent hum of magic filled the air and light started spreading across the intricate web of sources and refractors he designed. Gaster knew that it was exactly as he planned it, but it was still fascinating. It almost behaved like some sort of liquid - maybe honey?</p><p>He sighed and relaxed a little. It took about five minutes for the entire ceiling to light up to full power. If he closed his eyes and didn’t think about the cold air around him, it could <em>almost</em> pass for something resembling a sunrise. Gaster started going over how it how it looked in his head. How could he make it better? Maybe tint some of the sources into warm colours?</p><p>He opened up his eyes in confusion as he realised the image he had spread from a single source. That couldn’t be right. Were they <em>really</em> using the master switch? That would require a single monster to pour enough magic into <em>all these lights</em> for half a day. And they never quite managed to fix the awful energy consumption the magic-light conversion had, who could have <em>that</em> much energy to spa-</p><p>“Good morning, doctor,” a soft yet powerful voice startled him out of his thoughts and up to his feet.</p><p><em>“Good morning, Your Majesty,”</em> Gaster managed to respond after he gave the boss monster a shaky, awkward bow. The Queen met his eyes with a tired but genuine smile. And a brow raised in amusement. Something clicked. <em>“Pardon me asking, but was- was that you?”</em> he blinked at her in surprise.</p><p>Toriel’s expression softened even further, almost looking dreamy. “Yes, at least today. We take turns with Gorey. It looks quite impressive, does it not?”</p><p><em>“Yes, I… guess it does.”</em> But even more impressive is the monster who can power something like that, he added silently as he looked at Her Majesty, now with a new layer of… fear? Nervousness? Stars, boss monsters were truly something else.</p><p>“And it is thanks to you!” the Queen clapped her paws together and her face lit up, which completely disarmed the doctor. He was about to start rattling off ways in which it <em>wasn’t</em> thanks to him but was stopped before he even began by something black popping into existence in Toriel’s arms. A… bundle of cloth? She handed it to Gaster, who very reluctantly accepted it, still unsure of what was going on. It seemed strangely familiar but he was so nervous he couldn’t figure out why. “Here, a little gift from us!”</p><p>Oh.</p><p>An image of a stone-faced gecko monster shoving a nearly identical bundle into his arms resurfaced and with it the emotions he felt that day. He clutched it to his chest in an attempt to stave off tears he could feel coming on. Crying in front of one of the two strongest monsters underground wasn’t exactly something he wanted to do. Besides, he shouldn’t be getting sentimental over lab coats. Those darned things were literally made to get wrecked.</p><p>Yet there he was.</p><p>“A friend of yours told us you would appreciate a replacement for your old one. So take this as, hm, a payment of sorts for your help with this project?” she grinned at him. “Do you not want to see how it fits? There is no need to be shy,” she added encouragingly, when she noticed Gaster didn’t move at all.</p><p>The doctor nervously fumbled with the folds, before he finally gathered the courage and shakily slid into it. As he carefully buttoned it up, he had to admit that fit very nicely. He tried a reluctant little twirl to see how much movement the bottom part allowed-</p><p>He realised what he was actually looking down at. The coat has <em>so many pockets</em>. With barely contained excitement he patted himself down, finding several hidden ones in the process. It was <em>even more</em> than his old one had.</p><p>A squeak of happiness, a very undignified sound, escaped him. ‘Lab’ coat, ha! He’s never taking this off. It was <em>perfect!</em></p><p>“Oh doctor, you are absolutely glowing,” Gaster stopped and cautiously watched as Toriel raised one paw to her mouth and her smiled turned into a smirk. “<em>Literally.</em>” She startled chuckling, completely un-queen like.</p><p>As the skeleton slowly realised that his surroundings were being illuminated by a soft, purple light, he felt his magic flush from his eye to his face. Oh no. <em>Oh no!</em></p><p>He spun around and covered his face, grumbling something unintelligible but apologetic in tone under his breath. The Queen’s laughter stopped. Does he really <em>have</em> to keep embarrassing himself in front of the royalty? Was this a curse?</p><p>“Oh, dear.” Although the paw that landed on Gaster’s shoulder was soft and careful, he still flinched. He really wished monsters would <em>stop</em> touching him like that. The paw vanished. “Sorry, I will not do that again. But you do not have to be embarrassed of being excited! And if you are worried about being proper - no need! We are not sticklers for protocol and we <em>like</em> seeing our people happy. You do not have to be nervous around me and Asgore, alright?”</p><p>Easier said than done. The doctor took a deep breath and turned back to face the Queen with a nod, but he still couldn’t look her in the eye. At least he managed to reign in the purple little bit.</p><p>Toriel mercifully waited until his breathing calmed down. “Actually, I have one more reason I am happy I managed to stumble upon you this early. Did you think our proposal through?”</p><p>Gaster hesitated, but nodded.</p><p>“And?”</p><p>The doctor’s eyes darted around nervously before he managed to settle his nerves. This felt like a big decision. A life-changing one.</p><p>He bowed slightly and closed his eyes, afraid that if he met the Queen’s gaze, he would balk. He didn’t want to. <em>“I’m accepting it. I’ll be your Royal Scientist.”</em> His confidence gave. <em>“If- if the offer still- still stands, of course, Your Majesty.”</em> It took a few seconds before he gathered up the courage to look up at Toriel, unsure of what sort of response to expect.</p><p>She was <em>beaming</em>. “Of course it still stands, otherwise I would not be asking! And- that is wonderful! I will go get the paperwork ready, and you should pack up your belongings and head for the labs.” She pointed to a particular building that was already finished. “Look for doctor Spot and tell her I sent you. She is an older cat monster - she will show you your new lab and,” she couldn’t help but chuckle, “your new home in Home. I will come to check up on you tomorrow morning to make everything official. Does that sound good?”</p><p>Was that it? The skeleton blinked in surprise. <em>“Y-Yes, Your Majesty.”</em></p><p>“Great! See you then, doctor Gaster!” Toriel ended the conversation and went her own way after he absentmindedly signed a goodbye. That was, uhm, underwhelming? No. Anti-climatic? Maybe. He was the Royal Scientist now. His life had changed, hadn’t it? And there were no… fanfares? <em>Did he expect fanfares?</em></p><p>He couldn’t help but to look at the boss monster’s back, wide-eyed and stunned, as he walked away.</p><p>“Maybe I really should not let Gorey name things,” he heard her chuckle under her breath as she vanished from his sight.</p>
<hr/><p>Within three hours, with his inventory (against his better judgement) filled with the little what his belonging were and a tent torn down and handed over to someone else to use, he was standing on the doorstep of his new life.</p><p>It smelled distinctly of stone dust and wet dirt - construction. He wasn’t really sure how it was possible, considering the two smells were almost polar opposites, but there it was, and it was making him want to sneeze.</p><p>The other monster in the building tore him out of his daze by doing just that.</p><p>He quickly approached the gray cat monster, blearily wiping her nose with one of her paws, the other one holding a stack of folders. She was dressed more like a farmer than anything else. He decently cleared his throat, hoping it would catch her attention, and luckily enough, it did. <em>“Hello, are you doctor Spots?”</em></p><p>She blinked at him slowly, making Gaster more nervous with each passing second.</p><p>Then she shot him an apologetic smile and responded. “Sorry young friend, I’m slightly rusty. I’ll need you to slow down a little.”</p><p>Gaster repeated his previous statement, and to his <em>immense</em> relief, the monster nodded in understanding. “Yup, that’s me! What do you need?”</p><p><em>“Nice to meet you, I’m… doctor Wing Ding Gaster, Her Majesty sent me.”</em> He held out a hand.</p><p>Recognition flashed across her face as she shook it with much more vigor than he’d anticipated. “Nice to meet you too, doctor Felicity Spots, you can call me Felicity, dear! I do agricultural sciences, working on growing new plants underground and stuff. So you’re the new Royal Scientist, then? You’re so young, I could mistake you for a child! Oh, how did you-”</p><p>Gaster only managed to sign a slow, unsure <em>“Actually I’m twenty-nine.”</em> before her barrage of questions turned into an unintelligible mess for him. He tried to catch it all but failed.</p><p>It took her a good minute before she realised he wasn’t responding and just fumbling with the lining of one of his pockets with a distant frown instead. “Oh, sorry young lad, kinda went off there. I’m supposed to show you your lab, hm?” The skeleton blinked back into reality and before he managed to nod, Felicity already ran off somewhere. In a few seconds, she was back, her whiskers twitching with excitement and a keyring in paw. “You’ll get three keys - your flat, then your lab, office, or whatever you wanna call it, and the big chemistry lab.” She threw them to the dazed skeleton who barely caught them. “Let’s go!”</p><p>And there she went, Gaster barely having the time to wonder where she got all that energy as he had to catch up.</p><p>Within few minutes, they were standing in front of two doors. First, Felicity pointed to the left, plainer one. “That’s your new flat. The key’s marked with black. You even got your own little kitchen in there, lucky guy. And this one,” she pointed to the dark, shiny door on the rights, “’s your lab. Office. Whatever. Red key. There’s a door connecting them, use the flat key again for that one. Both have some furniture in already, but if you need anything extra, you can come to me and I’ll try to fish out something that would work out of the storage for you. The last key is chemistry labs, which is on the top floor because of ’sploding stuff and fumes and security and such. Can’t miss it. I think that’s all. Got that?”</p><p>It took Gaster a second to take it in and process it. Was it because he was so nervous? He must’ve been shaking. He nodded, staring at the gilded inscription on the office door.</p><p>Royal Scientist.</p><p>Him.</p><p>Stars, this will take some getting used to. He had a title now. And a lab. And a fla-</p><p>“Are you going to check them out now or just stare at them till sundown?” Felicity chuckled and once again dragged his thoughts back to the ground. “Ah, kids and their wandering minds.” The skeleton grumbled something as he went purple and fished out the red key out of one of his many pockets (that were still, oh so exciting to have).</p><p>She watched him with expectation as he opened the door to darkness. So the office didn’t have windows, it seemed. “Should I light it for ya? It’s not difficult, you just-”</p><p>Gaster shook his head and fumbled around for a switch before he found the sneaky little plate. He poured his magic into it and felt his head spin a little as the room was flooded with light. This must’ve been one of the simpler, less magic-effective models they made a while a back. With a shuddering inhale, he took a step inside his new lab and looked it over.</p><p>There was a second of stillness before he illuminated it with purple and burst into tears.</p>
<hr/><p>“So, are you ready to see the lab and meet the team?” Capriccia asked him for about the hundredth time that day in her deep, rumbling voice, and gave him an encouraging look as they both stood in front of the door.</p><p>Gaster wasn’t. In fact, he had to fight the urge to hide behind the lion monster’s carefully braided mane. Which he could certainly manage, as she was one of the rare monster taller than him, and fluffy enough to hide his lanky figure if he tried.</p><p>His lack of response just made her flash him a wide, toothy grin. “No need to be so nervous, Gaster. You’ve already met he monster with the biggest teeth here, and they don’t even bite,” she laughed and it echoed through the hall. “And don’t worry about embarrassing yourself. With me as a leader, they’re used to some weird shit.”</p><p>The skeleton finally managed to gather enough courage to respond. <em>“Yes… Yes, you’re right.”</em> She might’ve been an expert in magic studies and one of the senior professors, but she was also extremely scatter-brained. The first day he met her she forgot the word for a door. And the color blue. And student. Apparently she was always like that, and liked changing up the ways she compensated for it. Sometimes it was drawn-out definitions, other times sweeping gestures. He heard her use a word from a different language without batting an eye a few times too. It made her lectures an adventure. <em>“I think… Yes, I’m ready.”</em></p><p>“Good because <em>here you go!</em>” She threw the door open and shoved in the skeleton without a second warning.</p><p>Caught completely off-guard, he stumbled and almost fell face-first to the floor, but was stopped just inches before the impact. What caught him was something- some<em>one</em> so black they seemed to absorb the light from around them, before they flashed him the widest, <em>shiniest</em> grin Gaster had ever seen. They yanked him up to his feet with such speed and enthusiasm he almost fell over again.</p><p>“Jeez, Capri, you can’t break the new intern yet! It’s not often I get someone new to test my jokes on!” they yelled to the lioness behind him, and he gathered himself enough to look at them better. They must’ve been a demon monster of some kind, their entire body made out of the same strange black, except for a pair of horns, long, claw-like fingers and tiny glowing eyes, all of which were blinding white. The only thing that broke their ridiculous contrast was their dirty lab coat, peppered with spots of soot. “Ah! Yes, hello!” they turned to him and smiled again. Gaster realised he was staring. “My name’s Razzle! I’m- <em>oh are you turning colours.</em>” They leaned in with a curious expression before Capriccia grabbed them by their collar, giving Gaster some of that sweet, precious personal space back.</p><p>“He’s nervous Razz, don’t stare at him like that,” she grumbled with a chuckle as the much smaller monster squirmed in her grasp with mock fury. She looked back at the skeleton, successfully glossing over the fact that his face was all purple now. “So yeah! This is Razzle, they’re our… what’s the word.”</p><p>They slipped out to the ground and puffed their chest out proudly. “Engineer. Mostly I carve stuff into things and it makes magic run through them in a specific way,” they supplied the answer with a sparkle in their eye.</p><p>“Yeah that’s the one. Also don’t gamble with them unless you want to lose all your money.”</p><p>“I already told you I <em>don’t</em> cheat, it’s just simple math and memor-”</p><p>“And hear a lot of math trivia and jokes. Mileage on their funniness may wary.”</p><p>“…Alright that one’s fair,” Razzle conceded with a grin.</p><p>“Capriccia are you giving me another child to babysit? Look at him. He looks like a plum.” This new voice belonged to a murky water elemental, and was laced with such coldness and bitterness it made colour quickly vanish from Gaster’s face. Well, that was one way to do it. Even if he didn’t like it.</p><p>The lioness must’ve noticed how uncomfortable he looked. “Rhein, he’s twenty-five.”</p><p>“Still a child,” the water elemental narrowed her eyes at the team leader.</p><p>(“He no longer looks like a plum though,” Razzle chuckled quietly.)</p><p>“<em>Maybe</em> by <em>your</em> standards but don’t call him that.” She was still smiling, but there was an almost unperceivable sternness in her tone. Nonetheless, Gaster caught it, and apparently, so did the elemental. She leaned back in her chair and grumbled in defeat.</p><p>Capriccia sighed and turned back to the skeleton, who was trying to decipher all of this. “That’s Eukarhein, our chemist. Sorry, she’s sort of a grump, but don’t pay it any mind, we’re <em>all</em> like children to her. She always makes us stick to the security protocol.”</p><p>“Without me, Razzle would have set this lab on fire several times already. I’m often the only sane person in this room,” the elemental hissed and rolled her eyes, but there was little hostility in it, he realised.</p><p>“That’s true,” Capriccia laughed and a full smile returned to her face. “She’s my second-in-command, she’s much better at this whole being organized thing that I could ever be.”</p><p>With a gentle push, the lioness turned Gaster around to face the last team member. It was a gecko monster, staring at him with his wide, expressionless eyes, holding a black bundle in his arms.</p><p>Unblinking.</p><p>“That’s Ocu, our physicist. He always looks like that, don’t worry, he just has no eyelids. He doesn’t talk much, but if you get him going, <em>you’re in for a flood</em>. Oh and he’s our best healer and knows how to repair a surprising amount of stuff. Say hi!” she nudged the skeleton encouragingly, who only now realised he hadn’t said anything since he got in.</p><p><em>“Hello. Nice to meet you. I’m Wing Ding Gaster,”</em> he signed at the gecko, hoping he’d understand.</p><p>Ocu shoved the bundle into Gaster’s arms, before he took a step back and signed a <em>“Hello. Yours now.”</em> on his own.</p><p>Wait, <em>his?</em> The bundle? What was it? He stared at it with a mixture of confusion and excitement. They gave him something?</p><p>“Oh! Ocu, I didn’t know you could- and he’s gone,” Capriccia started but truly, the gecko already walked off to somewhere. “Right, what now, uh.”</p><p>“The coat and the desk, Capri,” Eukarhein reminded her from the other side of the room.</p><p>“Oh, <em>right!</em> Gaster, this here is your desk, and what you’re holding is your new lab coat,” the lioness patted a simple, wooden surface right next to her and grinned. “And that’s all about our team! We don’t have much when it comes to equipment, but if you want to make anything, just tell Razzle, they’ll magic something usable up. Same for chemicals, just with Rhein. So? What do you think? You ready to make some magic-powered junk with us?”</p><p>Gaster slowly, shakily unfolded the black lab coat and put it on as he walked behind the desk. Capriccia just watched him in silence, giving him all the time he needed to gather his thoughts.</p><p>Finally, he leaned on <em>his</em> new desk with both of his arms and looked at her with a wide grin. That said everything.</p><p>He heard Razzle gasp with both bewilderment and excitement. “That’s not fair! <em>Your eyes turn colours too?!</em>”</p>
<hr/><p>Gaster had to brace himself against the office wall as each sob shook his entire body. Still, his left eye glowed, and he must’ve confused the poor cat monster who tried to hover over him protectively (and failed, as she was hovering <em>under</em> someone several heads taller than herself). He certainly confused himself too, this soup of emotions was unexpected. He’s such a sentimental fool. It’s been a year, for stars’ sake.</p><p>“Lad, is everything alright? Is there something wrong with the lab?” Her voice lacked the energetic undertone he’d already grown used to hearing in it.</p><p>The skeleton tried to compose himself, but to no avail. Hopefully she’ll be able to read his sighs anyways. <em>“No, perfect. But so empty.”</em></p><p>“Empty? But there’s- oh.”</p><p>She understood and Gaster sank to the floor, the purple light flickering out as he pulled his knees to his chest. He wasn’t supposed to get his own lab like <em>this</em>. Everyone else was supposed to get it first.</p><p>Razzle would <em>never</em> let him live down that the goody-two-shoes he was basically skipped in line. A short chuckle hitched itself between his sobs. They’d shower him in jabs with that mischievous grin of theirs just to see his face turn purple.</p><p>He more felt than saw the cat monster kneel down to him. Stars, everything was so blurry. “How many?” The confusion on his face must’ve been very apparent, because she quickly added: “How big was your team, young one?”</p><p>Gaster had to count. This slurry of emotions was making it hard to think. <em>“Five.”</em></p><p>“Including you?”</p><p>He just nodded.</p><p>“Alright then. Take it easy, breathe, I’ll go get some things and I’ll be be back in a minute. If you calm down enough, you can start thinking about what you’re missing furniture-wise, hm?” she spoke with soft, hushed tones.</p><p>Before he managed to respond in any ways, Felicity was off.</p><p>When she came back several minutes later with four candles, Gaster was standing and shaking only very slightly. Tears kept rolling, though, and he was too tired to give her more than a questioning look. “I had a student under me before we came down here,” she explained quietly. “They didn’t make it. If I light a candle for them, it sort of feels like they’re still with me, you know? Now, what were your colleagues’ names?”</p><p>Hesitantly, the skeleton used Capriccia’s name sign, then spelled it out, and Felicity would do her best to pronounce it as she lit her candle before putting it on the writing desk. They did the same for the rest, too.</p><p>They spent the rest of the day setting the lab up. They added shelves, repositioned the workbench, set up drawers to be filled with documents… It was a slow, tiring process, as Gaster kept getting blindsided by a mixture of emotions he couldn’t quite parse from the tiniest things. Little reminders oh the old team. Felicity would ask him what they were, and he’d try his best to answer. He’d tear up and glow but each time it would be easier, and he’d shake a little less.</p><p>
  <em>“It just doesn’t feel fair. One of them should be here, not me. I don’t deserve this.”</em>
</p><p>“Don’t say that. I’m sure they’d be proud of you making it, wouldn’t they?”</p><p>
  <em>“…You’re right. I just miss them.”</em>
</p><p>Gaster would ask her about her student in return and she’d give him little tidbits. They were a beetle monster. Liked identifying as many plants as they could wherever they went and ramble about them until their company just accepted that each walk with them would take double the estimated time. Younger than Gaster. Detail-oriented.</p><p>She missed them too.</p><p>As he installed the last shelf, finally stable enough for Felicity to leave him alone with it, the feeling calmed down into this strange, bittersweet warmth. Gaster was <em>exhausted</em>. He sat down into his chair (oh how much better they were for sitting than beds) and laid down onto the desk, looking at the four candles.</p><p>Maybe, in a way, his friends never really left him. His sight went fuzzy as he stared into the flickering light and tiredness started to overtake him.</p><p>He could almost hear Eukarhein yelling at him for leaving an open flame unattended.</p><p>He drifted off to sleep with a faint smile on his teeth.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>chapter 4 tends to be the one I end most of my projects before bcs I run out of steam so *throws confetti*</p><p>also I swear this is the most OCs I will introduce in one chapter, the timeline just requires me to fill in things for Gaster's backstory</p><p>As always: if you find any grammar goofs, typos, or strange sentence structures, lmk, I'll fix them to the best of my ability :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Tiny Little Specks of Life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Gaster gets his first assignment.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This update has a bonus lil illustration. :) if it vanishes, let me know, the tumblr link probably broke.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Gaster woke up the next day, it was with terrible back pain. He spent a good while drowsily wondering how that even worked, considering he barely had any spine left, but decided to leave it be the moment his tired mind strung together the words ‘phantom back pain’ and threw any hopes of coherency out of the window.</p><p>Anyways, chairs were wonderful creations, and definitely much better for sitting that beds, but he certainly shouldn’t have used one for <em>sleeping</em>. He, eugh, <em>peeled</em> himself off the desk and looked around, trying to remember what he did yesterday. Set up the lab. Fell asleep. Didn’t unpack at <em>all</em>.</p><p>Then he glanced at the burnt out candles. Well, at least he didn’t have anything he could accidentally set on fire!</p><p><em>“Sorry friends, you’ll have to move for a second.”</em> He gently slid them to the edge of the desk. He was going to need all the space he could get. Slowly, he stood up and closed his eyes, mentally shuffling through his inventory. What did he pack again? Several paper bundles held together by string, old blanket, a half-empty toolbox and… some spare clothes. He could work with that. Nothing too large. If he just concentrated a little bit he could make everything land on the table. Without creating much of a mess.</p><p>Alright. He took a deep breath, brought his arms toward the table and- <em>Knock knock!</em></p><p>Turns out getting hit in the head with a stack of paper can hurt quite a bit, <em>especially</em> if it’s followed up by a wooden box. As he tried to make sense of where was up in the pile he suddenly wound up in, he heard the door creak open. And then hurried footsteps. Unfortunately, the raincoat he was currently tangled in was very much not see-through.</p><p>“Oh dear, I am <em>so</em> sorry! Are you alright?”</p><p>Ah, so it was the Queen. Moments later, he finally managed to escape the water-resistant fabric prison and gave her a weak thumbs up. By the look on her face, he could tell he wasn’t looking the best. Probably pretty dishevelled. <em>“Sorry,”</em> he started, before he, with slight hesitation but still gratefully, accepted her help with pulling himself up on his feet. <em>“My inventory simply does that sometimes. You just suprised me a little, Your Majesty.”</em></p><p>Her concerned face didn’t change a bit. “Doctor, were you hurt?”</p><p>Gaster just waved her off. He would have some bruises but nothing he couldn’t manage. <em>“Just a tiny bit. Thankfully, paper doesn’t seem to harbour harmful intent against me,”</em> he added with a smirk.</p><p>“Can I see it? It is the least I can do to make up for startling you.”</p><p>While he really didn’t feel like it was worth the bother, especially bothering the <em>Queen herself</em>, she really seemed keen on it. He couldn’t really decline her offer in good conscience. So he looked off to the side and nodded.</p><p>“Thank you, dear,” she breathed out with relief and finally smiled at him again. Carefully, she grasped his right arm and laid her other paw on his chest, close to his soul. A gentle hum filled the air as it got enveloped in soft, green light.</p><p>Gaster felt her magic reverberate through his own as she searched for bruises and nicks, lingering on each of them just for a second longer. It didn’t even take half a minute before the sound and light faded. “There. Are you feeling better?”</p><p>
  <em>“Yes, thank you, Your Majesty.”</em>
</p><p>“Doctor,” she sighed, but with a smile, “there really is not the need for such formalities. Please, just call me ‘Toriel’. Besides,” her grin grew wider as she took out paperwork, “You are the Royal Scientist now. That is quite a high position, and it definitely gives you the right to ease up on the needless courtesies.”</p><p><em>“Al- alright, lady Toriel,”</em> he hesitated as he scrambled to find a pen in one of his many pockets. <em>“I’m supposed to just sign them, correct?”</em></p><p>“Yes, that is all we need of you,” she nodded as she watched him scratch down his name, before she happily stashed them away again. “Alright, there you go! Now you are officially ready for your first assignment!” she beamed for a second before her face fell slightly and her eyes fell to the floor. “I am afraid that you might want to sit down for this one.”</p><p>Although Gaster was both confused <em>and</em> concerned by the tonal change, he did as she asked.</p><p>“Doctor,” she started, slow and her voice grave. Like she really did not want to say what came next. “I am afraid that you are the only skeleton that made it underground.”</p><p>Oh. So that was it. He could feel the temperature in the room go down by several degrees. This would be unpleasant at best. He took a deep breath.</p><p><em>“I am aware,”</em> he stated, matter-of-factly.</p><p>Toriel blinked at him, clearly surprised by how calm he seemed. She certainly saw him get upset over much smaller things.</p><p>He just drummed his fingers on the desk, staring absentmindedly at the wood. <em>“I’ve known for a bit, actually. I might have left them on my own years before the war, but I tried to find them after the barrier went up anyways. And getting answers along the lines of ‘we only know about you’, when it’s a species so conspicuous as skeletons, is rather condemning.”</em></p><p>There was a moment of silence and stillness. “Are you sure you are alright?” the Queen finally asked, her voice low and laced with worry.</p><p>Another sigh. Not annoyed, but tired. <em>“Yes. I wasn’t when I first realised what happened, but I haven’t exactly been… close to any of them. As selfish and strange it might seem for me to say this, but it’s easier to get over deaths of monsters that were barely more than strangers to me, I think.”</em></p><p>Gaster was very much aware of how cold he must have sounded. Perhaps he even felt a tiny bit guilty that in the end, it affected him so little. He should’ve felt much worse, shouldn’t he?</p><p>And yet, he didn’t.</p><p>They might’ve been his family once, but neither he nor them contacted the other since he left for his studies. They might as well have all died the day he last spoke to them - it would make no real difference.</p><p>He could feel the Queen’s gaze. For the second time that day, he tried to wave her worry away. <em>“Your Maj- lady Toriel, I have come to terms with this fact long ago. I’m alright. What does this have to do with my first assignment?”</em></p><p>“This.” She shuffled around in her bag and <em>very</em> carefully took out two jars with tiny, upside-down hearts.</p><p>The doctor almost knocked over the chair as he stood up, eye sockets wide. <em>“Are those-”</em></p><p>“Skeleton children. Yes.”</p><p>Before she could continue, Gaster was already next to her, unable to stop staring at the two souls. This couldn’t be real. He hesitated, but then put his hands on the glass so gently, he must’ve thought a single wrong <em>thought</em> could shatter them.</p><p>He might’ve had his grievances with the skeletons he knew, but them? These were just children.</p><p>Poor, <em>lonely</em> kids.</p><p>He let out a strangled, confused sound and his bad pupil flickered out. He poured all the magic he could into his good eye, glowing at them. As encouragingly as he could.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
</div><p>It only took a few seconds before the purple light faded and he took a step back, his face guilty and tears almost ready to fall, but unable to look away from them. <em>“Your- Your Majesty, I’m afraid that I,”</em> his hands shook so bad it was a miracle his signs were readable, <em>“Believe me, I’d help them if I could! But I- I cannot do anything to help them, I am not a medical doctor and-”</em></p><p>“Gaster.” Despite everything, Toriel spoke so calmly and softly, he couldn’t help looking at her. She was smiling. “It is okay. We do not need anything medical of you. We just want someone to keep an eye on them, be close by. In case anything happens.”</p><p>The doctor ignored the tears that trickled down his face. <em>“Why then? What happened to them?”</em></p><p>“We are actually not sure. We found them shortly before the barrier. They are in some sort of… protective dormant state, but otherwise healthy. I made sure of that.” The Queen passed the two jars to the skeleton, who carefully wrapped his arms around them, stilling himself and glowing at them again. “They probably just need time. And I want them to be around you when they wake up.”</p><p>Gaster’s gaze darted between the boss monsters and the two tiny specks of life, question in his look and his hands full.</p><p>“I wanted them to be around someone of their kind. It should help them when they wake up, and we figured that it perhaps could even speed up their awakening. So, are you willing to do that?”</p><p>Gaster evaded her eyes, brow furrowed slightly in conflict.</p><p>“Do not worry. I know you will do great,” Toriel smiled at him reassuringly. After about half a minute of silence and looking anywhere but at his Queen, Gaster exhaled slowly and straightened.</p><p>He nodded.</p><p>“Wonderful! I knew you had it in you. And, oh! I also brought you some pie,” she beamed and took out a box with several pieces of the <em>absolutely deliciously</em> smelling pastry, and placed it on his desk. Only at the action did the skeleton realise that, stars, the last time he ate was before he packed yesterday morning. “And that is all from me today. Do <em>you</em> need something from me, doctor?” she turned from the table to Gaster, who shook his head in reply. “Well then! If anything happens, tell Felicity and she will let me know. Take care of them <em>and</em> yourself,” she smiled. “Goodbye!”</p><p>He gave her a slight bow and she was gone again.</p><p>The doctor put them down onto his desk. Those jars just wouldn’t do. They felt too small (although he knew that skeleton children were fairly tiny), and definitely too… cold. Clinical. Suffocating? But he couldn’t have something as fragile as <em>souls</em> out in the open.</p><p>Three hours, one well-deserved snack and lots of running around, Gaster stood victoriously over his latest creation. It also involved a fair amount of breaking stuff and then putting it back together. They were two large, wooden boxes, their fronts and lids replaced by glass panes, padded with the shredded remains of his old blanket. It was nothing short of provisional, considering the lid was literally just an unworked piece of glass carefully placed on the rest of it all, but it held together, let light inside <em>and</em> kept the souls safe. And, hopefully, they were at least little cozier than the jars.</p><p>After brief consideration, he hauled them into the shelf opposite to his desk, high enough that he would see them while working, and vice versa. The fact that they didn’t have much to see <em>with</em> didn’t really occur to him as he stood there, smiling at them.</p><p>He leaned over slightly, just enough to have them roughly on his eye level and… froze.</p><p>The doctor wasn’t sure how to sign at young children. He started learning the language at seven, and that was a considerably different situation. After several minutes of mulling it over, he decided to just silently mouth the words along, trying not to think about the fact that skeletons weren’t really built for lip-reading.</p><p>
  <em>“Hello children. I’m doctor Wing Ding Gaster, and I hope you won’t mind my company.”</em>
</p><p>He spent the rest of the day unpacking and setting up his flat, but ended up sleeping over in the lab again anyways. He couldn’t really bear the thought of leaving them alone for more than necessary, and was too tried to move the boxes. So he lit the four candles, grabbed a blanket and a pillow from his bed and settled down on the floor.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>*quietly adds the 'dadster' tag* he might not know it yet but it has Begun</p><p>Just wanted to let y'all know that the outline for this chapter contained the phrase "thumbs up from the skeleton pile" and that I find it pretty funny</p><p>Aaaaas always: if you find any typo/error/strange sentence structure, lmk, I'll happily fix it!<br/>Thanks for reading &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. It's a Skeleton Thing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's Grillby's turn to check in on his friend. There's some, uhh, skeletons in Gaster's closet.</p>
<p>We also get to see drunk Gaster for the first, and quite probably the last, time.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Grillby finished cleaning a glass and put it away with a quiet huff. The bar he set up in Home was truly tiny and not very well-known, but he was glad for that. The atmosphere was cozy and being the ‘secret little establishment that only the locals know about’ was actually pretty nice. It made for the perfect amount of traffic - never overwhelming, yet always something to do. But he found himself missing a certain former regular.</p>
<p>He hadn’t seen Wing in… two months? One day, he just realized his tent wasn’t there anymore, with no word from the skeleton about where he had gone. Of course, Grillby had his suspicions (the doctor getting caught up in work and just forgetting to relay any message wouldn’t be a surprise in the slightest), but still. He really hoped his friend would take some time off and try to visit at least <em>once</em> since he opened up. Surely, if he asked around, finding an establishment run by a fire monster wouldn’t be hard. It was certainly much harder to get out of the bar at a decent hour to search the city for one reclusive skeleton.</p>
<p>Worry slowly crept into his flames, curling them differently. He took a piece of silverware and started absentmindedly polishing it. The more he thought about it, the less it felt like something Wing would do knowingly. The poor guy was notoriously anxious around new people, surely he would find it comforting to visit a friend. And Grillby was painfully aware the skeleton didn’t have that many of them. So… why? Did… did he spiral into something and bury himself in work for weeks like he sometimes did?</p>
<p>Suddenly the look on his friend’s face when he showed him his LV months ago felt too real again.</p>
<p>Alright, that did it. Customers still in or not, it was time to close up and go check up on his friend.</p>
<p>He should’ve done that ages ago.</p><hr/>
<p>It took Grillby nearly two hours to find the lab. Home was pretty packed with buildings at this point, and one with a bunch of nerds inside certainly wasn’t a tourist destination. Not exactly… memorable.</p>
<p>Thankfully, it still had a sign with large ‘LAB’ painted on it hung over its main entrance.</p>
<p>The fire monster slipped past a monster in familiar healer green in the doorway and looked around inside. It lacked any arrows or directions. Grillby let out a tired sigh. Unless he asked someone for help, finding Wing in this multiple-floor building would take forever. If he even still was at work.</p>
<p>Luckily, just seconds later, a gray blur ran from one of the doors in front of him to a different one. A monster. He followed them and softly knocked on the frame to get their attention.</p>
<p>They turned to him quickly, full of energy. “Oh, hello! What do you need?”</p>
<p>Grillby recognized her. The gray cat monster was actually one of his new regulars, she even often had him pack extra food, so- <em>Wait a second.</em></p>
<p>His eyes narrowed, but she wouldn’t be able to see it through his glasses, even if she’d be able to read the expression. “…Do you know where I could find Wing.”</p>
<p>She stared at him in confusion for a few seconds, before the realization hit her. “Wait, you’re his-” her eyes darted to the hallway behind him, “I can’t believe I didn’t- Why didn’t he <em>tell me?!</em> Argh!” She almost looked like she might tear her whiskers out in frustration. As quickly as the anger came, it dissipated and turned into dejected exhaustion. “Straight forward, then to the right. Big, shiny door with the words ‘Royal Scientist’ on it, can’t miss it,” she finally replied. “And please tell the fool that he should have told me that the bartender whose food he liked so much was his friend.”</p>
<p>“I will. Thank you.”</p>
<p>Grillby was already turning on his heel when the cat monster stopped him again. “Wait, one more thing.” She looked… concerned? “Just. Be kind to the young lad. He hasn’t been,” she gestured vaguely, not finding the correct expression, “<em>feeling the best</em> lately. Something has been bugging him, but he doesn’t want to talk about it. Just. Just so you know.”</p>
<p>He nodded calmly, but knew that his flames had shifted. This wasn’t ominous at all.</p>
<p>The bartender was very glad he decided to not postpone his visit any further.</p><hr/>
<p>Knock. Knock-knock. Knock.</p>
<p>There was scrambling inside. And sure enough, the monster that opened the door was familiar. Standing tall with a grin that… didn’t feel quite right and…</p>
<p>“Hey Wing,” Grillby replied to the skeleton’s silent greeting as he closed behind him. “Are you alright. You look different.”</p>
<p>The overly happy facade vanished immediately. The skeleton’s shoulders dropped and his back slumped, and the fire monster could’ve sworn he saw several shadow wisps separate from his body at the movement. His smile broke and suddenly the dark circles under his sockets were too prominent to gloss over. <em>“Is it… Is it really that apparent?”</em></p>
<p>“I mean. You’re taller, and…” He paused, gesturing at his friend’s hands. “Claws are… sort of hard to miss when you sign.”</p>
<p>Wing sighed and rubbed his left eye, refusing to meet Grillby’s. He circled around his desk and practically collapsed into his chair.</p>
<p>At that moment, he looked about a century older than he was.</p>
<p><em>“I guess it was just wishful thinking to hope it would be harder to notice after all. But. Well. Say hi to the long-term effects of a messed up soul,”</em> he smirked, humorless.</p>
<p>Grillby felt his flames dim. “Does anyone know.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“My coworker knows something is up but I haven’t… told her about the incident. The Queen knows everything. She even convinced one of her healers to try to help me but it’s probably… futile.”</em>
</p>
<p>“Why do you think so.”</p>
<p>The skeleton slowly brought up one of his hands in front of his face, turning it around calmly, as if he was examining it. Staring at the too-sharp-for-comfort fingertips. But his pupils were dim, distant. <em>“Apparently it’s just my form catching up with the changes in my magic. Reflecting my soul properly,”</em> he finally replied, elbows on the desk. To keep steady, the fire monster realized when he noticed the beginning tremble. <em>“Who knows what I’ll change into?”</em> He tried to smile, but calling it strained would be a grave understatement. <em>“Who knows what a monster with shards of a human soul will look like?!”</em> The doctor’s grin twisted as he threw his arms into the air, as if in excitement. <em>"Can’t</em> wait <em>to find that ou-"</em></p>
<p>And like a house of cards, he crumpled onto the desk, sobbing. He almost looked like he was going to turn into a puddle of misery within seconds. Instinctively, Grillby took a step towards his friend, who immediately shot up with a raised hand. <em>“No, please, don’t, just… Give me a second,”</em> he pleaded, shaking.</p>
<p>He wasn’t exactly excited about it, but the fire monster did stop. Wing inhaled deeply and stilled himself. <em>“I’m sorry, I’m… a mess. It’s just… Please, don’t tell anyone about this.”</em> He looked almost resigned as his signs turned slow, tired. <em>“I am… I’m having trouble holding a pen already. I can’t properly draw or write. It’s… humiliating.”</em></p>
<p>“I won’t. I promise.”</p>
<p>How else could he reply to that?</p>
<p>
  <em>“Thank you.”</em>
</p>
<p>For a minute, the only sound and movement in the room were Grillby’s flames. Then, Wing slowly stood up, still looking shaken, but much calmer. <em>“Alright, sorry, enough of self-pity.”</em> He looked up at Grillby and smiled slightly. The fire monster actually recognized it as being genuine this time. <em>“Since you’re here, I’d like you to meet someone.”</em></p>
<p>Wing gestured to the opposite side of the room and the fire monster finally saw the two tiny souls.</p>
<p>He stood there, stunned, even as Wing walked past him with the softest expression he had ever seen on him, beckoning him to follow. <em>“Say hello to Altair and Deneb,”</em> Wing stopped in front of the boxes and turned to Grillby, waiting for his reaction. <em>“They’re just placeholder names for now, but I had to call them something. Stars seemed fitting.”</em></p>
<p>The fire monster finally joined him, staring at the two specks of light, breathless. “Who… Who are they,” he finally asked, even lower than his usual voice. It seemed appropriate.</p>
<p>Wing turned to them, took a deep breath and pushed his magic into his eyes.</p>
<p>Grillby felt something tug at his soul as he realized there was only half of the purple light he was used to.</p>
<p><em>“Skeleton children. Dormant, somehow,”</em> he signed slowly, not looking away from them for a single second. Then, with a blink, the color was gone and his smile seeped away. <em>“I’ve been trying to remember and compile everything I know about skeletons to help them, but I’m… it’s…”</em> the doctor drifted off and didn’t start again. It was as if he deflated, but there was something more behind it. Years of something, in fact.</p>
<p>Grillby had seen this before. “Skeletons.”</p>
<p>Wing gave him the smallest, solemnest nod. <em>"I know so little and it was all my decision.</em>"</p><hr/>
<p>Customers that Grillby had never seen before were a regular occurrence at the Firebreak. Monsters moved about towns, and occasionally visited their establishment. That was nothing special.</p>
<p><em>This</em> customer, though, <em>was</em>.</p>
<p>First off, he was a skeleton. A rather rare sight. The first skeleton the fire monster had ever seen, in fact. But from what he heard, he was tall and lanky even for his species.</p>
<p>Second, he walked into the tavern alone. And judging by the sheepish and lost look he had, he wasn’t the type used to just waltzing into the first pub they came upon just to get a drink.</p>
<p>Curious.</p>
<p>The stranger sat down at the very edge of the bar, as far away from the other customers as he could. Grillby glanced at Brunn, the draconic owner of the establishment. They nodded quietly. Alright, his customer then.</p>
<p>“What would you like,” he approached the skeleton for an order, hoping he would recognize the question.</p>
<p>The stranger opened his mouth a few times, but always changed his mind before saying anything. Finally, he just glanced to the side, definitely looking more nervous than he should be, and shrugged.</p>
<p>“We offer both drink and food. Should I recommend you something,” Grillby continued patiently, intrigued by the strange behavior of the new guest.</p>
<p>The skeleton drummed his bony fingers on the wood for a few seconds, looked everywhere but at the fire monster and hesitantly raised one finger with a nod.</p>
<p>That was odd. Why the charades? He could just- <em>oh.</em></p>
<p><em>“I think we have some pretty good beer, actually,”</em> Grillby signed fluently.</p>
<p>The change in the customer’s demeanor was so sudden, it actually startled him. His back straightened and instead of the white he saw before, the two eyes that now <em>finally</em> looked at him glowed <em>purple</em>.</p>
<p><em>“Yes! Yes please, I’ll have one beer!”</em> the skeleton signed quickly and Grillby chided himself for not realizing what was going on sooner. The guy looked like he just walked into a candy shop, barely managing to keep his excitement down. <em>“And- and please, you can keep using your voice, it’s very nice, I just-”</em></p>
<p>The skeleton must’ve noticed the disbelief that made its way into Grillby’s flames, because he stopped signing. Hah, <em>his</em> voice? <em>Nice?</em></p>
<p>Suddenly the monster shrunk on his stool and with a blink, the purple in his sockets was replaced by white again. <em>“Sorry,”</em> he started, back to avoiding eye contact, <em>“I had no luck with anyone understanding me since I came here, so I sort of gave up. I didn’t mean to get so… enthusiastic.”</em></p>
<p>Oh. So he wasn’t reading his flames after all, just nervous. “No need to apologize for that. So, one beer.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Yes, thank you.”</em>
</p>
<p>About twenty minutes later, Grillby wished that he didn’t recommend the skeleton any alcohol at all. Not because their drinks weren’t good, but, well… He had never seen anyone so <em>thoroughly</em> plastered from a single beer, and probably wouldn’t ever again. To top it off, the monster seemed to be a drunk of the particularly weepy variety, as he was now laying on the bar, looking more like a pile of regret than anything living.</p>
<p>“Is this your first time drinking,” he asked him, voice as low as he could manage. The skeleton processed the sentence for a second, before he nodded as much as someone face-down on wood could. “Alright. I have no other choice than to cut you off, I’m afraid.”</p>
<p>The monster let out a muffled unhappy sound, but gave him a shaky thumbs up. That settled it. Grillby took his empty tankard and was about to leave, when he noticed that the skeleton propped himself up on his elbows, laughing with a pained grin. It was a dejected, broken sound.</p>
<p>And then… Was he <em>mouthing</em> something? What was-</p>
<p>"Hi, my name’s Wing and I can’t hold a <em>single bee-"</em></p>
<p>His raspy, strangely toned voice that was barely above a whisper didn’t even finish a single sentence before he collapsed into a coughing fit.</p>
<p>Grillby’s flames bristled as he noticed that with each cough, the entire skeleton rattled and <em>spat out purple magic.</em> Oh dear. Tankard down, approach the patron, “Sir, are you alri-”</p>
<p>He pulled away so abruptly he nearly tripped over the bar stool. <em>Oh dear.</em> Mangled signs that the fire monster couldn’t even <em>begin</em> to decipher. The skeleton must’ve realized he was completely incoherent, as he gave up and just shook his head with an apologetic expression. He wiped the magic-stained wood with one of his sleeves and then hastily slammed coins onto it. Before Grillby could react, he started signing ‘sorry’ over and over again and ran out of the door.</p>
<p><strong><em>Oh dear.</em></strong> “Brunn,” he turned to his boss in alarm.</p>
<p>“Yeah, go get that kid. I’ll manage on my own for a while,” the dragon smiled at him, but concern was written in their eyes.</p>
<p>Grillby didn’t need anything more and bolted after the skeleton into the evening. Following him was significantly more difficult than it should’ve, as the monster had long legs and <em>somehow</em> still managed to stay upright even in his current state. When he finally caught up, the skeleton was leaning against a wall in a small, empty alley, looking about ready to collapse on the spot. He was shivering, rattling and rubbing his side with the one hand he wasn’t supporting himself with. To top it off, he was gasping for air haphazardly, without any rhythm, and even that was sometimes interrupted by a cough that sounded way too broken for someone his age.</p>
<p>“I’m going to have to check you,” he approached the skeleton carefully. There was clearly something wrong, but startling him wouldn’t do any good.</p>
<p>The monster didn’t respond, just slid down to the sidewalk and continued trembling.</p>
<p>Grillby crouched next to him and gently grabbed his shoulder. The skeleton pathetically tried to push him away, but there was no real force behind it. He’d have to perform a deeper check than was courteous without permission, but he had the feeling that they <em>didn’t exactly have much time to spare</em>. Breathe in, breathe out, just a gentle wave of magic…</p>
<p>Sure enough, over a third of the monster’s health was gone, and it was dropping further. And from the glance he got at his magic, the fire monster knew that he had a pretty serious case of alcohol poisoning on his hands. The damned substance wasn’t supposed to <em>cling</em> onto magic like that.</p>
<p>“You have a lot of alcohol running around your body in places it shouldn’t. You’ll need to get rid of it before it does much damage,” Grillby patted the skeleton’s back, but only got a weak whine in response. “It’s interlacing with your magic. If you burn through it, it should help. Throw out some bullets.”</p>
<p>The skeleton’s face contorted in thought, but he seemed to have understood. With a rather unsure expression, he held out a shaking hand and frowned in concentration. A single, malformed and quite frankly <em>tiny</em> bone formed in his fingers for about two seconds before it wavered and flickered out. The skeleton let his hand fall and his head dropped.</p>
<p>Grillby’s thoughts ran faster than usual, but he managed to remain calm. Panicking wouldn’t help this monster. The nearest healer was quite a way away and this was more complicated than just pouring green magic into someone.</p>
<p>Time was ticking. “Got any other magic.”</p>
<p>The skeleton rubbed his face in frustration as he mulled something over. Then he tried to sign, but stopped before he could finish anything Grillby could parse. He made his hands into fists and pressed them against his skull, mumbling something as the rattle worsened.</p>
<p>“Hey. Stay with me,” Grillby shook him gently. “If you have something, <em>anything</em> that can make you exhaust your magic as soon as possible, <em>do it</em>.”</p>
<p>The monster gave him a sheepish, hazy look and very hesitantly formed an upside down heart with his fingers.</p>
<p>Oh joy. Soul magic. But it <em>would</em> work. “Fine, lay it on me.”</p>
<p>His response was a weak whimper. The skeleton seemed to be as much of a fan of the idea as Grillby was, but there was no other way. He shot the fire monster an apologetic glance, made quite pitiful by fuzzy pupils. As he struggled to raise his hand, Grillby braced himself.</p>
<p>The skeleton’s blurry eye lights turned blue and hollow. The fire monster shivered as badly aimed magic ran through his flames for several seconds. The expectation of it finally hitting probably felt worse than the actual mag- <em>Ping!</em></p>
<p>Grillby stumbled backwards as he felt his body being pulled all over the place. Weakly, in unfocused waves and inconsistent strength, but it was there.</p>
<p>The skeleton looked at him with way too much concern for someone whose health was dropping on its own. “I’m fine. Don’t stop until you feel spent.”</p>
<p>He got yet another deeply unsure look, but he complied. The pressure rose as the monster frowned and slowly, his eyes gained focus and clarity. And so did the direction of the pull. Backwards and down.</p>
<p>Grillby widened his stance to avoid sliding on the sidewalk. His knees felt like they were holding up three times his actual weight, and he was very aware of the magic swirling around his form and changing the direction of his flames, but it still didn’t feel quite… right. And the skeleton was <em>still</em> acting as if he was going to freeze at any moment. “Is that all you’ve got.”</p>
<p>The skeleton made an unintelligible sound and slowly pulled both of his arms to his chest. The pressure faltered. “Hey, don’t sto-”</p>
<p>With a grunt, the monster shoved both of his arms forward, nearly toppling himself with the force behind the movement, a flicker of purple entering his eyes.</p>
<p>At that moment, Grillby felt as if someone ran at him with a battering ram, full-force.</p>
<p>Somewhere along the way he recognized the fact that he was flying through the air. There was a sound he couldn’t quite place and something lifted off his soul.</p>
<p>Falling.</p>
<p>Then something grabbed his soul again, but it was… different?</p>
<p>He should have hit the ground by now.</p>
<p>As his brain slowly started making sense of the information his senses were sending to it, he realized he was <em>floating</em>. About ten centimeters off the ground. He blinked in surprise at the skeleton, who suddenly seemed perhaps a little <em>too</em> awake. Eye sockets wide, pupils sharp and switching between blue and purple, he stared back at the fire monster. His arms were enveloped in bright, blue light and his fingers splayed wide in his direction.</p>
<p>Both in their own form of shock, they just stared at each other for a good minute, before the skeleton finally hissed and very, very slowly lowered the flame to the ground and recalled his magic.</p>
<p>Carefully, still pretty dazed by what happened, Grillby stood up and approached the skeleton, who was now laying against the wall, rubbing his temples. But not shivering. “That. That was little more than I expected, to be honest.”</p>
<p>The skeleton shot him an almost hurt look, white eyes dimly, but steadily glowing.</p>
<p>“How are you feeling. I’d say you look like death, but I think that’s your default state.”</p>
<p>That got an amused huff out of the skeleton. Good. <em>“I feel like hell,”</em> the skeleton conceded with a weak smile, rubbing his eyes with one hand and signing with the other. <em>“Everything is too loud and hurts and my head feels like it’s going to explode.”</em></p>
<p>Grillby crackled softly and something different from magic lifted off his soul, happy to see the monster coherent. “So you’re sober, I see.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“And I’m never drinking a drop of alcohol ever again.”</em>
</p>
<p>“That seems wise, considering this brought you down to about a quarter of your health, if my estimate is correct.”</p>
<p>The skeleton stopped rubbing his face and checked himself, before he cursed quietly and stared up at the fire monster. <em>“Yeah, sorry. I didn’t know about this particular… quirk of my magic up until now. Thanks for the help and… Sorry about throwing you.”</em> He sighed and closed his eyes, completely exhausted. <em>“But as you said, I’m sober now, so you don’t have to bother with me anymore.”</em></p>
<p>Grillby crackled again but this time, it just made the skeleton frown in confusion. “No way. I’m not leaving someone who just burnt through one of the worst cases of alcohol poisoning I’ve ever seen alone. Think of it like getting hit in the head - it might look fine, but it affected your magic. Something sneaky might be wrong and I’m not chancing that. Can you walk.”</p>
<p>The skeleton grumbled something before he opened his eye sockets just enough to give the fire monster a sideways glance. <em>“Don’t think so.”</em></p>
<p>“Alright then. I’ll just have to stay here with you,” Grillby stated calmly and sat down next to the tall monster.</p>
<p>Who flinched. <em>“Now- There is no need for tha-”</em></p>
<p>“No, there is. I’m too tired to drag you anywhere, and you shouldn’t fall asleep until your magic has a chance to recover. As I said, like a head injury.”</p>
<p>The skeleton gave him a dejected look, but seemed to be out of energy to object.</p>
<p>“We should keep talking.”</p>
<p>The skeleton whined and closed his eyes. <em>“Can it be just you? I don’t think I have the strength to keep my eye sockets open after that last bout of magic. It was. A lot.”</em></p>
<p>“Not really. I need you to respond to me, so I can tell if you’re awake.”</p>
<p>Sigh. <em>“Fair enough. But you lead the conversation. I’m drawing a blank.”</em></p>
<p>“Alright.” Grillby paused, trying to remember what he knew of the skeleton. “So, is Wing your full name.”</p>
<p><em>“Not really. It’s Wing Ding Gaster,”</em> he spelled it out in response. <em>“Most just call me Gaster. Wing is just the easiest to pronounce with my…”</em> The skeleton hesitated, searching for a word, but then gave up. <em>“I don’t want to call it a voice because it doesn’t work properly, but yeah. Voice.”</em></p>
<p>“Hm. Wing sounds nice too, mind if I use it.”</p>
<p>A quiet, amused huff. <em>“Not a bit. I still don’t know your name, though.”</em></p>
<p>“Oh, right. Just Grillby.”</p>
<p>There was a suspicious lack of reaction.</p>
<p>The fire monster searched for more topics he could wake the skeleton with. “Do you have a name sign I could use for you.”</p>
<p>The skele- no, Wing’s brow turned into a frown. He was thinking it over. <em>“They used to refer to me as ‘picture skeleton’,”</em> he finally signed back. <em>“But I’d be happier if you used literally anything else.”</em></p>
<p>That was interesting. “Picture. Was it because you sign.”</p>
<p>He got a dismissive wave in reply. <em>“No. It’s because of a voice thing skeletons have.”</em></p>
<p>It was Grillby’s turn to frown, even though his new acquaintance couldn’t see it. And he wouldn’t have recognized it as a frown anyways. “Never met a skeleton before you. Could you explain the ‘voice thing’.”</p>
<p><em>“That doesn’t surprise me. Sure,”</em> Wing signed with a huff. <em>“How would I… Okay. Skeletons are quite sensitive to magic, the part that is responsible for monster voices in particular. They can… visualize it, in a way. Call it a ‘typeface’.”</em> He paused. <em>“Some are rounder, some are sharper. Some are just… odd. Mine, on the rare occasion it works, is pictures, apparently.”</em></p>
<p>The fire monster was genuinely intrigued. “Oh. What does mine look like.”</p>
<p>The skeleton gently tapped his chin. <em>“It tends to be less distinctive for non-skeleton monsters. Let me see, how do I explain this…”</em> he trailed off in thought. <em>“Yours has… A different color, yes! It’s warmer than most!”</em> he smiled, seeming almost excited. <em>“And you always end your sentences in periods. It’s definitely pretty.”</em></p>
<p>Ah. Grillby’s soul sunk. There it was. He shouldn’t have asked. “Pretty expressionless, you mean,” he huffed, quieter than usual.</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>“What?! No!”</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>The fire monster gave a start as the skeleton actually <em>shot up</em> into a sitting position and even opened his eyes the tiniest sliver to frown at him. He looked almost offended. After finishing the wide, accented signs, he balled his hands into fists and shook.</p>
<p>Then the anger melted away and was replaced by the much more familiar expression of guilt. <em>“Definitely not expressionless,”</em> he continued, little smaller, but still emphasizing every word. <em>“I’m… I’m sorry if I made it sound like that, I really didn’t mean to. If I had to characterize your voice in one word, it would be… calming. And- And your flames carry the tone,”</em> he tried to explain, looking everywhere but at the fire. <em>“That’s- that’s all part of your language, and it should be judged as that, not just… your voice.”</em></p>
<p>Grillby blinked at him, stunned. Did he really… Did he really catch that? Barely anyone did and-</p>
<p>His suspicion was confirmed as the skeleton giggled weakly, but still with amusement. <em>“You’re sparking,”</em> he explained, gesturing around his eyes. <em>“What is that, surprise? Shock? You were the same when I glowed back at the bar. I don’t think I’ve ever startled anyone with that before.”</em></p>
<p>“Huh. Most monsters don’t notice,” the fire admitted with a smile. Or, at least, he hoped that maybe Wing would categorize it as a smile.</p>
<p>It seemed to work. The other monster sighed and relaxed again, closing his sockets. <em>“My language is primarily visual and I want to be a scientist. I try to be observant. Some of it is just guesswork, though, but it seems I managed to luck out with you so far.”</em></p>
<p>“But yeah. You’re right. I have never seen anyone change their eye color so drastically unless they’re casting strong magic. You spooked me a tiny bit.”</p>
<p><em>“No wonder. It’s also a skeleton thing, as far as I know. They all have one color, and it’s usually tied to strong positive emotions. I glowed purple because I got excited about talking to someone,”</em> Wing smirked. <em>“Under normal circumstances, most skeletons can glow at will, too. It’s like… a calming gesture. Letting everyone know that they’re happy enough to glow, so everything is going to be fine.”</em></p>
<p>“That sounds soothing.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“It’s supposed to be.”</em>
</p>
<p>Silence. A question tugged at the back of Grillby’s mind.</p>
<p>“Actually, can I ask you something more personal. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Go ahead. You just saved a stranger by letting him throw you around with blue magic. I think I owe you some answers.”</em>
</p>
<p>“Why do you keep distancing yourself from skeletons?”</p>
<p>The tired smile Wing wore up until now crumpled away. He didn’t answer.</p>
<p>“It’s always ‘they’, you didn’t say ‘we’ a single time,” Grillby trod carefully.</p>
<p>The skeleton’s expression turned unreadable, distant. He lifted his hands several times, as if to explain himself, but never made it past that. No signing.</p>
<p>“As I said: you don’t have to tell me.”</p>
<p><em>“No, you… Just…”</em> He seemed to deflate, and his previously relaxed posture suddenly seemed defeated, instead. <em>“I never really felt like a skeleton, you know. The voice thing is quite important to them all, and thanks to my messed up magic I never really… belonged into it. My family never quite understood. They weren’t bad! Just…”</em> He sighed and pulled his knees to his chin. <em>"The looks of pity. The ‘don’t be shy, show us your voice’ from their friends. Their ’oh no, he’s not</em> completely <em>broken, he can use his voice a little bit’ to calm distant relatives."</em> He stopped, in shock from he just signed. <em>“Oh stars, I shouldn’t be so bitter. They didn’t say it like that. But it sure felt like it.”</em></p>
<p>Grillby winced. Wing might not consider them bad, but they certainly didn’t seem good either.</p>
<p><em>"I spent more time in the nearby forest than with my family and one day I just… left. I’m not sure I miss them. I’m not sure</em> they <em>miss</em> me<em>. I don’t care about the unique culture of…</em> their <em>tight community."</em> The fire monster didn’t know what to make out of the strange smile that crept upon the skeleton’s face. <em>“That’s it. I’m just the skeleton that is the worst at being a skeleton. But at least here, nobody judges me for it.”</em></p>
<p>“Well, you still seem like a fine mon-” Something hissed in Grillby’s flames and he froze.</p>
<p>It was cold.</p>
<p>His eyes shot up to the dark, <em>starless</em> sky as he felt more droplets pinch his form. No, no no! This couldn’t be happening, it was the middle of summer and he <em>left his raincoat in the tavern to dry</em>, this was bad, bad-</p>
<p>He jumped up to his feet and his flames turned colors as the water started to assault the world around him and drowning out his rational thought. It hurt, it <em>hurt</em>, he had to-</p>
<p>Wing yanked him back to the ground by his wrist. <em>“Cover your head.”</em></p>
<p>Grillby did.</p>
<p>Several things clattered to the ground around him and one, truly, pelted him in the hand he was shielding his flames with.</p>
<p>Slowly, realizing that there was no more water, he opened his eyes and looked around. A large, long raincoat was stretched out above them, floating. Shielding them from what turned into a downpour in a matter of seconds.</p>
<p>He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and shuffled closer to his new friend. He was safe. For now. He laid both of his hands over the center of his chest, as close to his core he could get. Now <em>he</em> was shaking. For a second there he truly thought he’d get extinguished. But it was fine, <em>fine</em>, summer showers could hurt, but he survived them all so far.</p>
<p><em>“You okay?”</em> Wing finally tore him out of his thoughts. He was signing slowly and deliberately with just one hand, the other raised upwards and blanketed in blue light. His eyes were barely open, but rings of the same color still peeked out from underneath the bone.</p>
<p>“Yeah, just…” Grillby paused and ran a hand through the flames on his head, trying to calm them. “Spooked… a little. You… You could do that the… entire time,” he pointed at the cloak with a question, still shivering slightly.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Ah, no, sorry. It doesn’t drain magic as much but grasping something without a soul requires a certain degree of focus. That I didn’t have.”</em>
</p>
<p>“Will you…” Grillby’s voice crackled out into silence. Stars, why now. <em>“Do you have enough to hold that up until it passes?”</em> he signed instead.</p>
<p><em>“Yes. My coat is much lighter than you are. Don’t worry, I don’t plan on dropping anything more on our heads today,”</em> the skeleton smirked. <em>“Sorry about hitting you with my inventory, by the way. Blue is about the only magic of mine that isn’t completely out of wack.”</em></p>
<p>The fire monster realized he was sitting among scattered personal knick-knacks. <em>“Don’t worry about it. And… Thank you.”</em></p>
<p>
  <em>“Happy to help.”</em>
</p>
<p>Grillby tried to think about anything else but the water everywhere around them. <em>“Hey. You should come to the Firebreak again sometime.”</em></p>
<p>Wing snorted. The sound sure was unusual. <em>“After this fiasco?”</em></p>
<p><em>“Sure,”</em> the fire monster replied, and very much meant it. That caught the skeleton off-guard. <em>“We have to pick you a name sign you’d like, after all.”</em></p>
<p>Wing blinked at him, stunned. For a second, it almost looked like he was going to argue something… But then he looked to the ground and just the tiniest bit of purple appeared on his cheekbones. <em>“Alright. Maybe I will.”</em></p><hr/>
<p>The same but also very different monster now sat on the floor underneath a shelf with two souls. <em>"She gave them to me because I’m a skeleton, Grillby. Lady Toriel trusts me so much that should they emerge, I would be the first candidate to take care of them. And I’d</em> love <em>to do that, but…"</em></p>
<p>He sighed. <em>"I want their family to be something that makes them feel like they belong. Unlike mine. I would do</em> anything <em>to give them the best home I could, but… Grillby, I can never give them a</em> skeleton <em>home."</em></p>
<p>“And who says that.”</p>
<p>The doctor gave Grillby a genuinely puzzled look. <em>“Uh, me?”</em></p>
<p>It was the bartender’s turn to sigh, but it was more of a soft crackle than anything else. “Well, consider this: you’re the only skeleton around. What that also means, is that there is nobody to scoff at you and tell you you’re being a skeleton wrong. You have a chance, Wing. If you want to, you can redefine being a skeleton to something both you and the kids can be, happily.”</p>
<p>Wing looked up to his friend, unsure how to respond. Hands folded in his lap. Thinking. <em>“Maybe,”</em> he finally signed, hesitantly. <em>“I’m… not sure what that would be. But I could… I could try.”</em></p>
<p>Grillby felt his flames turn a warmer shade of orange. “You’re one of the smartest monsters I know. I’m sure you can figure something out. And if you ever want to talk about it, you know I’m here. And I’m pretty sure your coworker is too. She seems to care about you a lot.”</p>
<p><em>“You’re right,”</em> the skeleton laughed nervously in reply. <em>“You’re right. You’re literally doing that for me right now. Stars, Grillby, thank you.”</em> Then his expression turned anxious again. <em>“There’s… There’s one more thing. If that isn’t too much for you today.”</em></p>
<p>“Not at all. Fire off.” There was no reaction. Alright, this was serious.</p>
<p><em>“I… I talked to her Majesty about this, and once they emerge… If my condition gets worse, who knows if it would be safe for… small and fragile creatures to spend time with me. I already break stuff and stumble around a lot as I am.”</em> He fidgeted with his hands for a moment, too anxious to continue. <em>“She… She asked me to recommend monsters that could take care of them instead. And you’re… You’re the most patient person I know. Would you be willing to take care of them, if I couldn’t?”</em></p>
<p>Grillby was stunned for a few seconds, before he softened. “Of course. I’d be delighted to.”</p>
<p>He could’ve sworn that the skeleton <em>melted</em> with relief. <em>“Oh thank the stars. I don’t know what I’d do if they went to someone I didn’t know. You’re an angel, Grillby.”</em></p>
<p>“That’s where you’re wrong,” Grillby chuckled. “I’m not an angel. I am just a humble fire monster bartender who brought his friend some food.”</p>
<p>Wing’s face turned purple and he started rubbing the back of his skull in embarrassment. <em>“Actually, Felicity has been providing me with maybe a smidge too large of a supply of your food lately-”</em></p>
<p>“Oh, right, I met her on my way here. She told me to tell you that you should have told her that I’m your friend,” the fire monster grinned at the absurdity of the sentence, soft blues making their way into his flames. “And she called you a fool.”</p>
<p>His friend’s face was getting even purpler. <em>“I- I didn’t want her to feel responsible for telling you about this to top everything off. Sorry.”</em></p>
<p>“If I knew, I’d give her my ‘friends and family’ prices.”</p>
<p><em>Finally</em>, Wing burst into laughter. That was the reaction he was aiming for. <em>"Stars, Grillby, I don’t want to</em> bankrupt <em>her, she insists on paying for it herself!"</em></p>
<p>“What, is my hundred percent markup not good enough for you.”</p>
<p><em>“Alright, alright,”</em> the skeleton wheezed. <em>“I take it back, you’re not an angel, you’re an actual spawn of hell.”</em></p>
<p>“Well,” Grillby cracked and sparked with stifled laughter, “I <em>am</em> made of fire-”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I've read this chapter over so many times I'm not sure if English even is a real language anymore :') one day I'll snap and write some extremely niche Czech fanfiction only to murder names of characters ending in -y and get some mileage out of the sweet, sweet subject ellipsis I miss so much in English aurgh. Anyways I'm happy about the <i>content</i> of this chapter but I'm not sure what to think of the prose anymore haha so I hope it's not too bad? I can't really tell at this point.</p>
<p>Also while weather scenes are a Grillby classic, the more I read this, the more I feel like I got subconsciously inspired by the first one in Casting Rain. Anyways, if you've somehow not read <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/6119951/chapters/14027078">Casting Rain</a> yet, go check it out it's <i>so</i> good holy shit.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Boreas</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Gaster's not really okay and about everyone can see it. Things are familiar but not in the good sense of the word.</p>
<p>And, oh, there's also a pretty cute flashback, but-</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>with my back on the floor<br/>cold linoleum icing my growing pains<br/>watch the ceiling fan turn its shape again<br/>my threads are coming loose</p>
<p>yeah, I’m one spoon away<br/>from setting the ends of my hair on fire<br/>if I’m kindling for a little while<br/>at least I’d feel of use</p>
<p>— <a href="https://youtu.be/frC97DhJQYc">Boreas (The Oh Hellos)</a></p>
<p> <span class="small"><span class="small"><span class="small">&gt;:o)</span></span></span></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gaster stared at the ceiling, his mind blank. He wasn’t sure for how long he was like that. Thoughts just… slipped through.</p>
<p>In that sense, the last few weeks felt awfully familiar.</p>
<p>But he almost had the patterns on the ceiling memorized by now. Unlike the barrier, they didn’t shift. The unfortunate side effect was that the overwhelming feeling of uselessness had space to creep in.</p>
<p>…He should get up before the healer gets there. The skeleton was pretty aware he looked terrible as it was already, it wouldn’t do if they saw him like this.</p>
<p>Gaster used his every last ounce of self-control to crawl out of bed and find one of the robes lady Toriel gave him. She noticed pretty quick when his previous clothes got into the ‘maybe still functional, but uncomfortably and visibly small’ stage. The next time she visited she basically drowned him in loosely fitting clothes. The Queen was very considerate and kind.</p>
<p>Everyone around him was. And yet he felt like he might unravel at a moment’s notice. That just wasn’t fair to them.</p>
<p>Wait, no. Better to not think about that. Gaster grabbed a robe and pulled it on. He couldn’t wear his beloved coat over it without looking absolutely ridiculous, so he had to do with the slightly worn white and purple fabric instead. The significant lack of pockets wasn’t ideal, but… at least the color was nice.</p>
<p>Now, uh… Clean up a little. Grillby and Felicity visited the previous day and their gifts were still piled up on the table. Putting away the two battered books the other scientist managed to find somewhere was easy enough. The bartender brought a much more varied assortment of things that required significantly more attention. Some fabric samples for him to look over. That went to the ‘possible research’ drawer. Several fixed pens. Small knick-knacks he was missing. And, of course, a small tower of containers with various food (thank the stars food cured with magic didn’t spoil).</p>
<p>Working through the pile, Gaster stopped as he picked up a small glass jar. Grillby apparently found an apple substitute and wanted his opinion on a new baked tea mixture. Felicity definitely had her fair share of responsibility for that fact. She and the bartender were quite the duo, actually. Both had much more insight into the inner workings of the strange food situation underground than Gaster could ever hope to have.</p>
<p>Come to think of it, it was a small miracle that they managed over a year with barely any sunlight without running into a major provision shortage. The skeleton had an inkling that Felicity had something to do with that. Perhaps everything. It was agriculture, after all, and he didn’t doubt in the slightest that she would personally scour every inch of the caves to find a plant that could be grown and ground into something resembling flour. She was <em>very</em> good at her job. And so was Grillby. Surely he must’ve ran out of his surface ingredients ages ago but somehow Gaster didn’t notice <em>when</em>.</p>
<p>The entire Monsterkind owed existence to people like them, but they did it so well it wasn’t even <em>noticeable</em>. They both somehow managed to plow through unknown, borderline impossible circumstances and emerge victorious. Unlike <em>him</em>-</p>
<p>Gaster put down the jar with a little bit more force than he intended and had to take a deep breath to still himself. No, he couldn’t continue that train of thought. He was trying to look <em>stable</em> for when Pean came in. Think of something else. Something that wasn’t connected to his current, rather miserable, situation.</p>
<p>He stumbled back to his bed and buried his face in the pillow. Think of something nice.</p>
<p>His thoughts slipped back to the little jar. He loved baked tea. In fact, ever since…</p>
<p>…Oh goodness, of course, Grillby gave it to him on purpose.</p><hr/>
<p>He gathered all his courage and <em>finally</em> sheepishly pushed the door to the Firebreak open.</p>
<p>“Good mo- oh. Hello, Wing,” the fire monster blinked at him in surprise as he entered.</p>
<p>Gaster signed a greeting and smiled rather awkwardly.</p>
<p>“Sorry, I- I thought I might’ve scared you off, but you actually came,” Grillby crackled softly and motioned to the counter he was wiping off. “Come in and close the door, you’re letting the cold in.”</p>
<p>The skeleton gladly sat down, but the nervousness didn’t leave his face. <em>“You definitely didn’t. If anyone scared me off, it was… also me. I’m something of a coward,”</em> he rubbed the back of his skull. <em>“I’m still sorry for that evening. Sorry, really.”</em></p>
<p>That earned him what probably was a surprised glance, if he judged correctly. “Oh. As I said before, you have nothing to apologize for.”</p>
<p><em>“No, I-”</em> Gaster had to pause as a mixture of guilt and frustration aimed at himself overwhelmed him. <em>“I just dumped the entire skeleton thing on you! I’m so sorry, I was incredibly tired and I didn’t really-”</em></p>
<p>“Ah hush.” Grillby’s flames dimmed a tiny bit just for a second. “I literally asked you about it. If anything, I’m to blame too. I really harbor no hard feelings towards you.”</p>
<p>The skeleton glanced toward the flame, unable to categorize the previous expression, and decided it was better to give up.</p>
<p>“Will you be ordering anything,” the bartender asked him after few seconds.</p>
<p><em>“Ah, oh, right, um,”</em> Gaster tried to get his brain working again, this is what you <em>did</em> in taverns you goof, <em>“Anything, really? Just no alcohol. Do you have any recommendations for that?”</em></p>
<p>Grillby looked him over and nodded. “I think I do. Are you fond of sweet things.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“In moderation, yes.”</em>
</p>
<p>“Alright, I have a little specialty for you then.” He vanished under the counter, reappearing with a small jar and a mug. With swift, practiced motions, he emptied the container into the mug, took a few quick steps over to the stove top in the open kitchen, grabbed a kettle and without spilling a single drop, poured boiling water over it.</p>
<p>Gaster was almost envious of with how much ease he moved around. He really looked like he was in his element.</p>
<p>A few seconds later, he put the drink down in front of the intently watching skeleton. “And a touch of magic.” With a flair, he summoned a fire spiral, coiled it around the mug and then gently tapped it. It cycled through about every color of the rainbow before it dissolved into white sparks.</p>
<p>It was as if the delicious smell just <em>jumped out</em> at that moment.</p>
<p>“Showoff,” a deep voice with a cheery tinge rumbled besides the skeleton and nearly made him knock the drink over.</p>
<p>“Good morning to you too, Brunn.”</p>
<p>Gaster turned around just in time to see the tavern’s owner burst into laughter. “Good morning, Grillby. I still don’t get how you manage to get up so early. I’ll take the kitchen for now, you take care of the customer… Or customers, if anyone else is insane enough to crawl in at this hour. Ah, and,” they turned towards the skeleton, who was still reeling from the surprise, “Sorry about startling you, but your face was <em>priceless</em>, oh boy. Enjoy your tea.” They grinned and vanished into the kitchen, closing its door behind them.</p>
<p>Grillby just sighed and shrugged. What else can he do.</p>
<p><em>“This… this is tea?”</em> Gaster called attention back to his mug. It certainly didn’t look or smell anything like the herbal infusions he knew.</p>
<p>“Yes, but probably not the kind you’re thinking of. It’s baked fruit tea.”</p>
<p>The skeleton examined it more closely. <em>“Is there really no alcohol in it? It looks an awful lot like punch,”</em> he asked, cautiously. He certainly did not want a repeat of last time.</p>
<p>“No, don’t worry. I made it, so I’m sure of that. There’s baked apples and pears, some berries, cinnamon and cloves. Usually it’s drowned in sugar but I use honey instead. Oh, right.” The fire monster took out a spoon and slipped it in. “You can eat everything that’s left after drinking it too.”</p>
<p>Gaster eyed it curiously for a few more seconds, before he finally took a sip.</p>
<p>Warmth he didn’t know he lacked rolled through his bones and he almost melted onto the counter in bliss.</p>
<p>“I take it you like it.”</p>
<p>The skeleton enthusiastically nodded as he wrapped his hands around the mug and brought it closer to him. Really, this was the <em>perfect</em> drink for a cold autumn morning and it tasted amazing to boot.</p>
<p>Grillby softly crackled in response. “Glad to see that. Figured you’d appreciate nice and warm. Now. How about that name sign thing,” he casually leaned against the counter next Gaster, not really having anything else to do, “I have some ideas I thought you might like.”</p>
<p>The skeleton looked away, purple climbing into his face. <em>“You don’t. You don’t have to do that.”</em></p>
<p>“Yeah I know. But I want to. You should get referred to with something you like, hm.”</p>
<p>Gaster sighed, but smiled a little, lifting the mug up to have a sip again. <em>“Alright, shoot.”</em></p>
<p>The flame calmly signed and the skeleton nearly spat out his tea as he decoded the combined signs.</p>
<p><em>"’Purple</em> butterfly<em>’?"</em> he parroted in disbelief. <em>"Why- why</em> that<em>?"</em></p>
<p>Grillby <em>broke</em>. The fire monster was basically laying on the counter now, crackling in laughter, as he pointed at Gaster’s face, which was very much flushed with the color in question. “Because that, it’s wonderful,” he managed to breathe out before he collapsed into another giggle fit.</p>
<p><em>“But ‘butterfly’?”</em> he stared at Grillby, still incredulous, but the laughter was infectious. It was already tugging at the corners of his teeth.</p>
<p>“I- I-” the fire monster had to catch breath, “I wanted to use ‘Wing’ but that’s way too involved of a sign, so I-” he sparked and another crackly snicker interrupted him, “It gets the point across, I think.”</p>
<p><em>“That’s almost a cipher,”</em> Gaster finally burst into his own raspy laughter. <em>“That’s- that’s going to confuse people!”</em></p>
<p>“Let them be confused all they like,” Grillby slowly calmed down, but the color of his flames gave away a wide grin. “It’s not <em>their</em> name sign. It’s for you, and if you’re the only one who gets it, who cares. Do you like it, or should I continue.”</p>
<p>The skeleton had to wipe starting tears out of his eyes. He really wasn’t used to laughing that much. <em>“No, stars, I absolutely love it. It’s perfectly silly.”</em> The flame’s colors shifted into a soft smile. It was… very nice, actually. The fact that he avoided going the straightforward route and tacking another sign onto ‘skeleton’ was appreciated. Gaster took a deep breath but couldn’t stop snickering. <em>“Okay, alright, my turn now. I have a name sign for you too.”</em></p>
<p>Grillby sparked in surprise and Gaster’s grin widened. The flame couldn’t think he’d get out of this without some friendly retaliation, could he? He turned him all purple.</p>
<p>“O-okay.”</p>
<p>The skeleton cracked through his fingers, smiling mischievously, not really knowing what came over him. He hadn’t named someone like this in… a long time. Especially not seeking their approval. But this fire monster was so easy and calming to talk to. <em>“Grillby,”</em> he spelled out, <em>“how about this?”</em></p>
<p>He followed up with the combination of ‘colorful’ and ‘summer’ signs.</p>
<p>The fire monster turned in soft blues and pinks and Gaster revelled in sweet, sweet revenge.</p>
<p>The door sounded.</p>
<p>“Iii’ll have to go take that order, sorry,” Grillby basically fled the scene.</p>
<p>Gaster’s smile fell as he watched him slip by. Oh no. He was doing so well. Did he overdo it? Did he mess up aga-</p>
<p>“Relax bud, he likes it, he’s just not used to people noticing his colors. They’re subtler than most,” a voice rumbled quietly behind the counter and the skeleton once again almost fell off his chair. <em>How did such a large draconic monster manage to move so quietly?!</em></p>
<p>Brunn chuckled as he turned to them. “Sorry, I don’t understand much sign language, but I have to thank you for coming anyways,” they whispered, nodding over Gaster’s shoulder, towards the turned-away fire monster. “Flames are kinda my thing and his are happy today. I haven’t seen him be this chatty with a customer and laugh so much in a long, <em>long</em> while.” They gently patted Gaster’s shoulder. “He really needed someone he can talk to like that too, I think. I hope we’ll see you around more oft-”</p><hr/>
<p>A sound tore him out of reminiscing. Somebody was knocking. Pleasant past had to wait, right now it was time for the way less pleasant… present.</p>
<p>Gaster unwillingly rolled out of the bed and made his way to the door.</p>
<p>“Go-ood morning, doctor,” a stoat monster in green walked in, yawning through the first vowel. They looked about as tired as always. “Good morning, Altair, Deneb.” They waved at the two souls that so rarely left the main table nowadays.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Good morning, doctor Pean.”</em>
</p>
<p>“So.” The healer stretched and motioned for Gaster to sit by the table, pulling out a chair for themselves. “I know you’re not the greatest fan of this so let’s get this over with as quickly as possible.”</p>
<p>The skeleton nodded absentmindedly and sat down.</p>
<p>“Alright,” Pean took out their record book and a pen, “Let’s start. How are you feeling?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“About the same as last time.”</em>
</p>
<p>“Okay so not that great,” the stoat murmured as they started scratching things down. “Hands?”</p>
<p><em>“Still cramping seemingly randomly. Can’t really… control the pressure I grip things with sometimes,”</em> the skeleton answered, eye lights dim.</p>
<p>Nod. “The uh… Arms, etcetera?”</p>
<p>Shivers went down Gaster’s (lack of a) spine. <em>“The… same strange non-Newtonian fluid as always.”</em></p>
<p>Pean stopped and blinked at him, legitimately confused. “I, uh, didn’t catch that? What… what fluid are they?”</p>
<p>He spelled it out, but it didn’t seem to help. <em>“Just. Just weird,”</em> he gave up, eyes going even dimmer.</p>
<p>“O-oh. Okay.” They rubbed their eyes and scribbled something down. “I’d actually like to have a look at them. Will you roll up your sleeves?”</p>
<p>Gaster’s eyes lit up again as he winced. He… really didn’t like letting others see too much of the shadow-like material. There was a reason that he wore short sleeves <em>once</em> since they ran them underground. And that was in private.</p>
<p>Pean smiled at him but sighed nonetheless. “You know I’ve seen it before. That’s just how your body is now, nothing wrong with it. I just need to keep track of any possible changes.”</p>
<p>They were right. He knew that. Still, it didn’t feel right. Reluctantly, he did as they asked. Several dark wisps lifted from his arm and dissipated into the air. He straightened it and held it up to the healer.</p>
<p>“Thanks.” They gently grasped it and cautiously felt along its entire length, applying pressure just a little to judge the give. “Doesn’t hurt?”</p>
<p>Gaster shook his head, trying not to look at it.</p>
<p>“Alright. Bend your elbow, please.”</p>
<p>It took half a minute to finish this part of the check-up, but it felt like an eternity. He was incredibly glad when he could hide his arms again.</p>
<p>“Almost done with the first section,” Pean tried to smile reassuringly but <em>stars</em> they looked almost as tired as he did. “Any new changes I should know about?”</p>
<p>Gaster hesitated and the healer <em>noticed</em>.</p>
<p>“Okay, spill the tea, what is it.”</p>
<p><em>“Actually,”</em> he started, evading their look and trying his best not to tremble, <em>“My face… hurts.”</em></p>
<p>He really, <em>really</em> didn’t want to think about the implications of that.</p>
<p>Pean’s concerned look wasn’t helping. “How much? Dull or sharp?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Dull and… Not a lot, but it’s there. I think it started yesterday and… hasn’t stopped since.”</em>
</p>
<p>The stoat looked more awake than they did since entering, brows knitted together in thought. “Isn’t it from the…” they trailed off and lined their face where Gaster’s cracks were.</p>
<p>He shook his head. <em>“No, it’s all over. Not just from them.”</em></p>
<p>“Alright, that’s very weird. I’m going to take a closer look, alright?” They leaned towards him and the skeleton had to control himself to not shy away instinctively. This was starting to be a <em>little</em> too close to comfort.</p>
<p>Pean hissed under their breath and he tensed up. “Yeesh, it must be pretty bad. You seem to have scratched your face and by your reaction I don’t think it was intentional. Let me just…” They <em>reached</em> towards his <em>face</em> and-</p>
<p>Gaster jumped up from his chair and stumbled backwards, staring at Pean in near terror. Trembling.</p>
<p>“Ah, <em>shit</em>, sorry,” they shook themselves from their own surprise as they realized what was going on. “I should have warned you better. I’m gonna heal them, and I’ll be <em>really</em> gentle, okay? They’re just on the left side, nowhere near the big one. Are you okay with that?” they eyed him with deepening concern.</p>
<p>The skeleton took a deep breath to still the panic and very slowly made his way back to the chair. <em>“Okay. But please, no… no sudden movements.”</em></p>
<p>“I won’t. Thanks for trusting me,” Pean smiled and cautiously called upon their green magic, softly laying their paws over his left eye. Gaster desperately tried to think of anything else but what was happening.</p>
<p>…Their magic had a very different hum to Toriel’s. It was quite more focused, like instead of a blanket being thrown over the pain, it targeted it and sewed it up immediately.</p>
<p>Pean took a step back, finished, and he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. <em>“Thank… Thank you. That’s somewhat better,”</em> he tried to smile, but it was strained.</p>
<p>“No need to thank,” they returned a much sincerer grin. “It’s my job. You held up incredibly well. But.” Pean paused and their face turned serious. “If you keep scratching yourself on accident, you need to tell me. We’d have to figure out something to stop that. Claws can be very much not fun.”</p>
<p>They both looked at each other for few seconds, dreading the next step.</p>
<p>“Are you feeling up to it today?”</p>
<p>Gaster’s incredibly tired expression returned. <em>“No. But. Let’s do it anyways.”</em></p>
<p>Pean nodded. “Alright. You go first.”</p>
<p>He had to take a really, really deep breath. They won’t hurt him. It was fine. They’ve seen it before. They’ve <em>done</em> this before - it <em>didn’t</em> hurt.</p>
<p>Inhale. Exhale.</p>
<p>Gaster pulled out his soul.</p>
<p>He held the feeble little thing in his right hand, staring at its faintly glowing white surface. A surface that was marred by a large, lightless blue crack. <em>“Go ahead,”</em> he signed clumsily with his left.</p>
<p>Pean took a deep breath of their own and their eyes turned a vibrant glowing green. And then the show began. From each claw, they spun a thread of green magic and started weaving it around the soul, teeth gritted in concentration. It was very delicate, swinging magic this close to someone’s culmination of being. But they knew what they were doing, and they were good at it.</p>
<p>They finished the protective shell and their eyes turned back to their proper, dark color. “Alright, that’s it, you can call it back,” they whispered, voice <em>dripping</em> with exhaustion. Gaster gladly did just that, gently pushing the magic-encased soul into his chest, feeling the buzz of live magic settle in. “That should… Last about four days.”</p>
<p>He just nodded.</p>
<p>“Cool,” the stoat monster stood up, leaning against the table. And stopped for a second, before their mind caught up to them and they started gathering their things. “Do… Do you have anything else before I go?”</p>
<p>They turned to him and noticed that he was fidgeting with the hem of his sleeve, staring at the floor. Pean raised one very tired eyebrow.</p>
<p>
  <em>“How- How much longer do you think this will continue?”</em>
</p>
<p>And the eyebrow fell again. They didn’t seem phased by the question at all. If anything, they probably expected it sooner. “I’m not sure,” they sighed. “But it has to stop at some point.”</p>
<p>Gaster wasn’t sure that point was anytime soon, considering this took over a year already, and they just <em>didn’t know</em> where it was all going.</p>
<p><em>“Do you… Do you think that I’ll get my dexterity back once that happens?”</em> Please. <em>Please.</em></p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>
  <em>Oh thank the stars.</em>
</p>
<p>“I’m pretty sure your motor skills are only affected because things are constantly shifting. Once it calms down, you’ll get the time you need to regain finer control. Maybe… Maybe you should consider finding something else to do until then, hm? Maybe go out a little more. No offense, but you look pretty terrible.”</p>
<p>Gaster glanced up at the healer. Conflicted.</p>
<p>Did he feel better around others? Yes. But <em>going out?</em></p>
<p>When he tried last he broke down at the lab’s doorstep, filled with sheer <em>terror</em> of others <em>staring</em> at him and being able to tell that he’s wrong, <em>broken</em>. Seeing that he isn’t even a monster anymore, but something else, something that <em>didn’t belong</em>.</p>
<p>And ‘thanks’ to his scars, he stuck out like a sore thumb and there was no way they <em>wouldn’t</em> stare.</p>
<p>They might’ve seen his soul and known vaguely about what happened to him on the surface, but there was no way he was going to tell them <em>that</em>. It was just more of his useless, personal baggage that would just make more people miserable without fixing anything.</p>
<p>“…You’re pretty quiet today. You okay?” Pean tilted their head.</p>
<p>There was no use in signing when a single tired look could convey the feeling just as effectively.</p>
<p>They sighed. “Listen, I know this is hard. But you gotta hang on, hm? It’s going to get better eventually.”</p>
<p>Eventually.</p>
<p>Gaster nodded, but couldn’t meet the healer’s eyes.</p>
<p>
  <em>Eventually.</em>
</p>
<p>He just had to hold on until then. The only problem was that he was starting to grow more and more unsure about how much longer he was going to be able to do that. Right now, he was… mostly fine, but he did not want to know what was going to happen when that stops being the case.</p>
<p>He hoped ‘eventually’ would be soon.</p>
<p>“You still there?” Pean poked him, which made Gaster flinch a little and land back in the present.</p>
<p><em>“Um, yes. Do you. Do you need anything else?”</em> Zoning out was not a good sign, this entire thing better be over with quickly.</p>
<p>“No, not really.” They actually just finished packing everything. “I’ll come visit again when the magic wears off, so in four days.” The skeleton tried to ignore the look they gave him as they paused. “<em>Hang on until then,</em>” they said, voice firmer than usual.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Alright.”</em>
</p>
<p>“Good,” they switched back to their usual demeanor, “See you then.”</p>
<p>Gaster didn’t even respond as they left. He was alone again. Alone with the amazing echo chamber that was his skull.</p>
<p>He should do something. Something…</p>
<p>He didn’t get to the baked tea, did he?</p>
<p>Gaster walked up to the counted and picked up the baked tea. If he tries it, it will make Grillby <em>happy</em>. Okay, let’s do this.</p>
<p>First, get a mug. Then some water. Dig out the half-depleted heating stone, carefully grab the jar’s lid and twist i-</p>
<p>A jolt of pain shot through his hands and he doubled over with a hiss.</p>
<p>The jar shattered on the floor.</p>
<p>No. No no <em>no</em> <strong><em>no!</em></strong> That was the only… that was the only jar.</p>
<p>And he broke it.</p>
<p>Grillby wanted to help him, to cheer him up, he wanted <em>one</em> thing of him and he <em>fucked it up.</em></p>
<p>Gaster took a long, shuddering breath as he stared at the sorry puddle. He just dropped something. It wasn’t a big deal. It shouldn’t be. So why did he feel like breaking into tears?</p>
<p>He spun around and quickly wiped his eyes with a sleeve as he started pacing around. It didn’t matter. He shouldn’t be dwelling on that. He should get to work, do <em>something useful</em>.</p>
<p>Some… Somehow. He’ll figure something out.</p>
<p>It was going to be fine.</p>
<p>
  <em>It was going to be fine.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>It was going to be fine.</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>If he just didn’t think about it too much.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Gaster get therapy challenge.txt This chapter is <i>entirely</i> the fault of The Oh Hellos.</p>
<p>(wheezes I promise all this angst will ease up within the next 1-2 chapters depending on where I decide to split them hah. It's coming in the next week or two! It's kind of a challenge structure wise so I'm not sure on exactly how much time it'll take though.)</p>
<p><a href="https://www.ourbeautifulprague.com/baked-fruit-tea/">Baked fruit tea</a> is a very, very real and good thing. I don't think I've seen honey actually used for it but honey makes everything better SO. I made myself hungry.</p>
<p>ALSO as a peace offering for all this angst <a href="https://copper-skulls.tumblr.com/tagged/two-deaths-related-drawings">here's a tag on my artblog</a> for things that have something to do with this fic, bcs I am literally physically unable to not draw things when I'm writing. I'll be chucking some sketches there in the next few days. They include some Cute.</p>
<p>As always: if you spot any errors and tell me, I'll be very happy to fix them! And thanks for reading. &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. I'm Blue Now</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Emotions fly high, desperate Gaster does desperate measures, [insert image of Gaster in that fixing a water leak with flex tape meme]</p>
<p>lots. lot of things happen. It's 6.7k words oh oops.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>(if you notice new tags, you're not imagining them, I decided to add all the big warning tags  that I currently know will crop up during this fic and  some more like a week ago)</p>
<p>also a lil warning that Gaster hits probably his lowest point so far in this chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The lab looked suspiciously like there was an explosion. Of papers or something. They were just… everywhere. Completely covering the desk’s surface and a good amount of them strewn around the floor in a haphazard fashion. Filled with half-legible writing.</p>
<p>It was a pretty faithful depiction of Gaster’s current state of mind.</p>
<p>He sat behind his desk, head resting on his left hand, as he very, very slowly wrote, occasionally glancing in the direction of a thin metal plate on the side. A plate engraved in geometrical patterns. Razzle taught him a pretty neat trick with using blue concentrated to a very fine point to carve them out, if the material was pliable enough. It was about the only thing his new claws were good for.</p>
<p>Right now he was only <em>slightly</em> frustrated about the fact that all the work he had done on the signal amplifier already had to be scrapped because he found major design flaws.</p>
<p>At least he had enough foresight to separate it from the sensors feeding it. If things worked out, he’d only have to replace this part, without disrupting how the system worked, but… as if things ever went according to plan.</p>
<p>The scientist sighed and put the pen down to flex his hand. It was much easier to find solutions when he let his thoughts flow onto the paper, but he had to take it slow. Even with re-weighted pens that managed to keep his writing somewhat legible when he inevitably started shaking, it was still straining.</p>
<p>Okay. He picked the pen back up and very slowly and deliberately wrote.</p>
<p>“AMPF. V0 P 3A COULD CAUSE FEEDBACK LOO-”</p>
<p>The nib gave and snapped in two.</p>
<p>Gaster quickly flung the paper and leaking pen off the table with blue before the ink could ruin any of the notes underneath.</p>
<p>He felt frustration rise again. Grillby mended that one like two days ago. The material must’ve started to wear thin by the constant repairs. Something as delicate as a pen tip could probably only take a certain amount of re-melting before turning fragile.</p>
<p>Guess it reached its limit already.</p>
<p>He stood up and started pacing. He was too shaky to write anything anyways, even if he managed to find a pen that would last.</p>
<p>All he had to do was just hang on. Last a little longer. Just. Hang on.</p>
<p>Except he <em>couldn’t</em>. He reached his limit.</p>
<p>He choked on his own breath as he found himself by one of the walls, pressing his forehead and claws into the plaster. He didn’t know what to do! He was the Royal Scientist, finding solutions to things like these was basically the entirety of his job description, yet here he was. This was the <em>one</em> thing he was supposed to be good at! But he just- He couldn’t-</p>
<p>Gaster slid down to the floor, ignoring the marks he left as he dragged his claws along, eye sockets going dark.</p>
<p>Huh, he truly was useless, wasn’t he? An absolute waste of space and all the resources others decided to invest into him. Somehow- Somehow he managed to trick them all into believing it was <em>worth it</em>.</p>
<p>Stars, he was a terrible monster, wasn’t he? Wait, no. <em>Ha! Definitely</em> not a monster anymore. If anything, just a dead husk of something that <em>maybe</em> once was one!</p>
<p>Gaster realized he was crying. He wasn’t sure when that started. But if it continued, he would just ruin the papers he was kneeling on. Destroying and messing things up, like he always did.</p>
<p>He couldn’t even- Not even his first assignment really seemed like something attainable anymore! There was no way in hell he would be moving the boxes by hand right now because he was terrified of dropping the during a spasm and <em>hurting</em> them, and that was. He wasn’t sure he would be able to live with himself if that happened. He shouldn’t be around-</p>
<p>Goodness, no. He was doubled over on the floor, rattling as much as he could with his current form, face deep in a sleeve to seep up the tears. Right in front of them. No, no, <em>no.</em></p>
<p><em>“I- I must be a really sorry sight, huh? You shouldn’t have to see this,”</em> he signed at Deneb and Altair before he tried to stand up. Key word: <em>tried</em>. Very quickly he found out that his knees weren’t solid enough to hold any weight. Apparently this made him too liquid to even move out of the way.</p>
<p>Wonderful, <em>amazing</em>, but really, there’s no need for more straw when the camel is already <em>dead</em>.</p>
<p>He ended up laying face-down in the papers, crying about too many things at once, feeling even his face loosening up. Okay, so not even what he thought was still bone until moments ago was safe from… this.</p>
<p>His very last functioning rational brain cell screamed something.</p>
<p>Gaster just rolled over and tried to wipe the tears away again, but it was futile. Instead, his vision was filled with loose dark wisps and ribbons from his arm. And his hand was even harder to move than it was nowadays. There was something different with it, too, but he couldn’t put his finger on <em>what</em>.</p>
<p>Oh, wait, no. That was it. His fingers were sticking together. Melting slightly.</p>
<p>This realization should have <em>probably</em> been deeply horrifying, but all it got from him was a humorless chuckle sneaking inbetween his crying. If it continued like this, he might <em>actually</em> turn into a puddle of misery. <em>Sure would be appropriate!</em></p>
<p>That one annoying braincell kept yelling. The nagging feeling was getting quite infuriating.</p>
<p>He frowned. He must’ve been missing something. So he tried retracing his thoughts, although it was quite difficult when they seemed to just refuse to even run in a straight line today. Okay, so. Being useless and probably not a monster, yes. Failing his first assignment. Having to use blue. Being all sorts of not-solid.</p>
<p>It clicked and the rational braincell finally decided to cease function, its job done.</p>
<p>Because that was an <em>incredibly</em> stupid idea. As in, ‘no sane monster would even <em>try</em> to do this’ sort of stupid.</p>
<p>
  <em>Good thing he was neither, then.</em>
</p>
<p>Somehow, Gaster dragged himself to his desk and leaned his back against it. This was probably going to hurt. Quite a bit.</p>
<p>He took the deepest breath he could at the moment and carefully put a hand over his soul. Hesitated for a second.</p>
<p>And then he turned himself blue by turning his palm upside down.</p>
<p>The familiar ring echoed through the lab, followed by a crash as Gaster found himself sprawling face-down on the floor anyways, fighting for air. Well, it wasn’t exactly as if skeletons needed to breathe, it was more of a useless reflex and probably a social response they had for some reason. Nonetheless, not breathing was still extremely jarring and, to be honest, <em>quite</em> panic-inducing. And right now, the all-encompassing weight that was pinning him to the ground was making that rather difficult. Still, he could feel his entire body twist and change shape to accommodate for the new pressure. He could even see the satin wisps pool under him.</p>
<p>Oh, right. He wasn’t even physically a skeleton anymore. Maybe that meant he actually <em>needed</em> air now. That would be quite ironic.</p>
<p>With a clipped laugh and considerable strain, he turned himself over to lay on his back, the palm still over his chest. Okay. He just needed to shift and control the center of gravity to be different to be more focused, maybe <em>then</em> he could do something.</p>
<p>Gaster clawed himself up onto the desk, eyes darting around and breathing shallow. This was exhausting, to be honest. Hopefully it would get better with practice. It <em>had</em> to. But even that would be of no use if he wasn’t capable of the necessary control. He propped himself up on his unsteady elbows and laid the one hand he wasn’t using blue with in front of him to see it properly. Just a <em>tiny</em> bit more concentrated and-</p>
<p>He lost hold of the delicate magic and collapsed onto his desk, surrounded by lifting ribbons of the shadowy material.</p>
<p>Well. This attempt was mostly a flop, but… he saw something. Just for a <em>second</em>, he managed to push the claws back and turn his fingertips back into their original, round shape. He was shaking, his vision swam and he was short of breath, but he actually felt… hopeful? Huh.</p>
<p>Maybe if he used the material from the botched amplifier, he could create a circuit to manage the shape for him. Could even circuits be used for colored magic? He certainly didn’t hear about something like that before. Perhaps he could…</p>
<p>…unceremoniously pass out on his desk. Yes. That about the only thing within his power right now.</p>
<hr/>
<p>It was two days later, when Felicity was moving her newest batch of strange saplings and made her way past the Royal Scientist’s door, that she heard a loud, crackling sound from behind them.</p>
<p>That was more than just worrisome.</p>
<p>“Lad?” She put the plants down and knocked. “Are you alright in there?”</p>
<p>She knew the scientist kept a pebble he’d knock against the door if he couldn’t answer it. She didn’t hear it.</p>
<p>“Gaster?” Felicity asked again with rising alarm.</p>
<p>No response.</p>
<p>“Hey, I’m going in,” she warned him loudly and opened the door, preparing herself for…. something bad?</p>
<p>Instead, she found Gaster laying amongst an absolute mess of papers, grinning wide. Staring at her with a hollow blue eye.</p>
<p>Felicity breathed out. “You scared me for a second there. What the <em>hell</em> is going on?” She tapped her foot.</p>
<p>Instead of explaining, Gaster proudly raised his right hand, clutching it with his left.</p>
<p>He wiggled the claw-less fingers.</p>
<p>“Oh, young man!” she crouched next to him, smiling wide and sparks in her eyes, loud excitement overtaking her. “Did you do it? Did you find something that wo-”</p>
<p>The doctor shot up in response to her volume and quickly put a finger to his teeth. A small, cracked metal plate clattered to the floor as his eyes darted around. After a very brief flash of blue, the door behind her clicked closed.</p>
<p>“What is it?” she took the hint and whispered.</p>
<p><em>“I don’t want people to know about it yet, it might not work out and I don’t want to… Give out false impressions,”</em> he replied, both hands clawed again.</p>
<p>“Okay.” She sat down on the floor. “Is there any way I could help you?”</p>
<p>Gaster seemed to be thinking for a second, tapping his chin. <em>“Actually, this might not come up for a while, but… Do you know any smiths, by chance?”</em></p>
<p>Felicity snorted. Alright, that was a rather unexpected request. “Not really, but I could ask around. I’m sure I could send someone your way if you want to. But why, might I ask? Are you in need of some armor?” She couldn’t help but to laugh at the absurdity of the image.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Actually yes, sort of.”</em>
</p>
<p>He found the cat monster’s expression absolutely priceless.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Felicity found a smith within a day. She wouldn’t come for two weeks, but it just gave Gaster time to prepare.</p>
<p>And so he did. He spent every waking moment he could without arising suspicion working on, well… shape-shifting with his blue magic. And if he wasn’t doing <em>that</em>, he was busy inventing a whole new field of magical engineering, fussing around with his circuitry patterns. Turns out, the color was quite a lot more aggresive and required an entirely new set of rules and techniques just to keep the boards from tearing themselves apart. So he carved them. And tested. And carved.</p>
<p>And passed out from exhaustion a lot.</p>
<p>But, somehow, the effort paid off. In a week, he managed to make a pair of gloves that could hold the blue pushing his claws back without their metal plates snapping. The moment he realized he could <em>almost</em> reliably write when he was wearing them, he started designing a brace.</p>
<p>His hands were one thing. The rest was a different one. He just wanted to look like himself again. To <em>feel</em> like W. D. Gaster again, and this might have been his chance. The only problem was pulling it off. With a brace that would cover his entire torso, there actually was a possibility it could exert enough pressure and have enough surface area to do just that.</p>
<p>So he powered through all the drawbacks and side-effects.</p>
<p>Despite his best efforts, the shift in his demeanor and energy was apparently visible. On one of their checkups, Pean commented on the fact that he was even more tired than usual, but seemed somehow less ‘doomy’. Thankfully, they didn’t push the topic further. It seemed like they considered it to be a positive development, actually. And Gaster was glad for that. He was a terrible liar and, frankly, knew Pean wouldn’t approve of his little project.</p>
<p>Not like any sane monster really would, should they know its full extent. So he just had to keep it a secret until he had enough work done to prove the idea had potential. Couldn’t be too hard, could it?</p>
<p>Except luck was not on his side and the smith couldn’t be less inconspicuous if she <em>tried</em>. The fact that she was, even if wingless, unmistakably a dragon with shiny, brightly blue and yellow scales, didn’t help the slightest bit.</p>
<p>It would be practically impossible for anyone to miss her presence in the labs.</p>
<p>“Good morning! You must be doctor Gaster!” she shook his hand, echoing through his office as the scientist desperately tried to recover from the sheer <em>volume</em> she managed. The moment he did, he quickly gestured for her to <em>please</em> quiet down a little.</p>
<p>“Ah. Sorry! The forge can get <em>pretty loud</em> sometimes,” she apologized with a wide, sincere grin as he stepped around her to close the door. She was quieter, yes, but he still had the feeling that her voice could cut through any noise if she wanted to.</p>
<p><em>“It’s okay. Just, please, keep in mind that I don’t really want this to go public yet, so little secrecy doesn’t hurt,”</em> he waved back at her and hoped nobody was on the hallway to overhear. <em>“But yes, I am doctor Gaster. Nice to meet you…?”</em></p>
<p>“The name’s Trutnau. Now, what do you have for me?”</p>
<p>Gaster spread out his blueprints on the table. <em>“Do you think you could make something like this?”</em></p>
<p>The smith looked them over and nodded, before she frowned slightly. “It looks doable. But, if this is armor? I don’t know what you’d need it for, but something built like this won’t take bludgeoning well at all, it might-”</p>
<p><em>“It’s not armor, that I can assure you of,”</em> he stopped her the moment she finally looked back up to him.</p>
<p>“What is it then?” She seemed genuinely curious.</p>
<p><em>“It’s more like…”</em> he waved his arms around, <em>“…a brace of sorts.”</em> Then he took and rolled out a different set of diagrams, filled with complicated patterns mapped onto the inside of the armorpiece.</p>
<p>“Oh. Okay.” She leaned over to take a better look at them. “I think I understand that part, but definitely not this,” she waved her claw over the circuits. “But it sure looks impressive! I take it I shouldn’t meddle with the inside much, then. I might have to modify some of the straps and things for practicality’s sake, is that okay?”</p>
<p>Gaster seemed to get nervous. <em>“Ah. Yes, but it… needs to be fairly strong. I don’t want it to… open?”</em> he tried to explain without really explaining, wearing just a slightly strained smile.</p>
<p>Trutnau raised one of her brows, but whatever nagging question she had, she didn’t voice it. “Alright. So, can I have these?” She gestured towards the blueprints he showed her first.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Of course.”</em>
</p>
<p>“There’s one problem, though. There’s no measurements.”</p>
<p><em>“Yes, that’s…”</em> Gaster paused. <em>“That’s because can’t really take them myself.”</em></p>
<p>Once again, she seemed rather confounded. “Okay? I can take them then, I guess.” She dug out a tailor’s tape measure out of her pockets and looked back at the plans. “So, I’ll need you to-”</p>
<p>The scientist raised a hand to stop her, an apologetic expression on his face. <em>“Sorry, can’t do it like this. I’ll need you to give me a second and then take them fairly quickly. Is that… Is that fine with you?”</em></p>
<p>She couldn’t really get in any more disbelief, but she still nodded. “Sure, I guess. Ready when you are.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Thank you. And please, don’t freak out.”</em>
</p>
<p>He tried his best to ignore her reaction and went through the (at this point well-practiced, thankfully) motions of calming himself down. Inhale. Hand on chest, call on blue.</p>
<p>The surprised gasp that reached him definitely signified <em>something</em> happened.</p>
<p>Exhale.</p>
<p>He took the hand off very slowly and looked at the dragoness. The sudden change in perspective was so jarring, he actually had to glance at the doorframe to make sure he didn’t overdo it. But no, it seemed he got it right this time.</p>
<p>“Okay, did you just…” she trailed off, wide-eyed.</p>
<p><em>“Yes. Please. Hurry. This is. Harder than it looks,”</em> Gaster signed back slowly and deliberately, trying to not let his concentration slip.</p>
<p>“It actually doesn’t look easy at all,” Trutnau huffed but thankfully went ahead to do what was needed. The doctor barely paid any attention to her as she gently moved him around.</p>
<p>Focus. Focus. <em>Focus.</em></p>
<p>“Okay, I’m done!”</p>
<p>She managed to catch him before he fell to the floor.</p>
<p>“Whoa, <em>whoa</em>, you have to stop surprising me like this dude, you okay there?”</p>
<p><em>“Yes. Just. A second.”</em> He really needed to break this habit of holding his breath while doing that. Mostly out of necessity, he stayed in her arms as the world and his magic settled to their natural state, before he carefully got back on his feet. <em>“Sorry,”</em> he dusted off several stray wisps from his robe. <em>“It can get quite disorienting.”</em></p>
<p>“I can imagine.” She flashed him a toothy grin in an attempt to cheer him up.</p>
<p><em>“Yeah,”</em> he smiled back just for a second, before turning serious again. <em>“But please, as I said, I’d appreciate if you kept this. Entire thing a secret.”</em></p>
<p>“Of course, I will,” she gave an enthusiastic nod. “As for payment-”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Yes, the payment! How much do you want? I should be able to-”</em>
</p>
<p>“Actually, none is needed.”</p>
<p>Gaster blinked at her in surprise. <em>“But… It’s not a problem…”</em> He didn’t know how to respond. <em>He</em> was still getting paid for his… ‘job’ and didn’t really have many opportunities to spend it, so he could very much use his personal cushion for this project.</p>
<p>“I mean if you really want to, you can,” she shrugged, still smiling widely. “But we’ve been making nails and door hinges for <em>months</em> and I’m bored out of my <em>mind!</em> A distraction will be nice. Something more complicated, something <em>fun!</em>” She threw her arms out in excitement. “So, <em>just this once</em>, I won’t charge you. As a thanks for saving me from going mad.”</p>
<p><em>“Alright,”</em> the scientist replied after a moment of confused hesitation. <em>“I am still going to pay you. Um. Something. How long do you think this will take you?”</em></p>
<p>Something sparked in her eyes. “Give me a week.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>It was few days later when someone knocked at this door. In a rehearsed set of movements, Gaster scooped up any incriminating documents he had on his desk and hid them away in a drawer. Without really thinking twice about it, he picked up a little pebble and knocked it against the door three times. <em>Come in.</em></p>
<p>He regretted that the moment he saw who entered, and more importantly, with what expression.</p>
<p>Pean looked absolutely <em>livid</em>. The dark circles under their eyes were even deeper than usual and the glare they were giving Gaster as they carefully closed the door behind them could pierce metal.</p>
<p>They knew. He prepared for the inevitable, giving them as neutral of a look as he could while staying seated behind his desk.</p>
<p>“Doctor. <em>Gaster.</em>” The scientist in question couldn’t help but to wince a little at the tone. “What do you think you’re <em>doing?!</em>” they basically hissed out, obviously holding back anger.</p>
<p>Gaster just narrowed his eyes.</p>
<p>“Couldn’t you just, I don’t know, do <em>literally anything else?!</em>” they decided to continue, starting to pace in frustration. “I know you’re eager to get back into science, but, <em>right now</em>, literally <em>anything</em> would-”</p>
<p><em>"And what would</em> that <em>be, pray tell?"</em> Gaster rose up from his chair so quickly he actually startled the healer for a second. <em>"My</em> other <em>magic?"</em> He summoned a small, deformed bone that broke apart on its own just seconds later to drive the point home. <em>“Anything that requires holding things?! Like writing?!”</em> His signs grew wider and more frantic. <em>"I can only be stuck re-reading the same five books for a limited amount of time, I need to</em> do <em>something, I need to-"</em></p>
<p>“You need to do <em>this?!</em>” Pean was nearly shouting. “You <em>will</em> hurt yourself or <em>worse</em> like this! Without even consulting- You don’t even know what all this pressure will <em>do</em> to you, <em>nobody</em> does! Couldn’t you just <em>wait?!</em> It would eventually-”</p>
<p><em>“No,”</em> Gaster cut them off by slamming his fist into the desk. He couldn’t help but to start shaking in anger. This was exactly what he’d been trying to avoid, this <em>couldn’t</em> be happening. <em>"I refuse to spend years in near misery, circling around the same, useless ‘solutions’ just in case it suddenly works, instead of admitting defeat and doing the one thing that might just help</em> enough <em>at that very moment! Not again."</em></p>
<p>“W-wait, again?” Pean’s voice dropped into near silence. It wasn’t angry anymore.</p>
<p>It was concerned.</p>
<p>Gaster’s eye sockets went black as he realized what he said. What he let slip.</p>
<p><em>“Leave,”</em> he signed, trying to not lose his very last bit of calmness.</p>
<p>Pean seemed to be too taken aback by the situation to move.</p>
<p><em>“I said L E A V E.”</em> The edge of the table creaked in protest as he crushed it in a death grip, before he turned his back to them. He didn’t want to see their face. He didn’t want them to see <em>his</em> face.</p>
<p>Their only response was a quiet click as the door closed.</p>
<p>Gaster took a deep breath and tried to relax a little. They actually listened to him. He was the one making decisions about his own life now. And they respected it.</p>
<p>…Was he always this bitter about his parents trying absolutely everything to ‘get his voice back’ before they ‘gave up’ and finally found someone to teach him proper sign language at <em>seven?</em> Or was this just his current mental state talking?</p>
<p>He was so tired. Thinking about his family was always so… exhausting.</p>
<p>No. Gaster was going to admit defeat, and whether they thought it was a good idea or not didn’t matter. <em>He</em> was in charge of this. <em>He</em> wasn’t going to live in denial of the fact that what they were trying to accomplish just <em>wasn’t</em> possible.</p>
<p>It was time to get back to working on that.</p>
<hr/>
<p>About four hours later, when Gaster finally managed to work his way into a mostly blank mind, there was another knock. He looked up from his notes and frowned.</p>
<p>He really wasn’t in the mood for more visits right now.</p>
<p>“It’s me. Can I come in? I just want to talk.”</p>
<p>Great, worst-case scenario then. It was Pean. But they didn’t sound… angry?</p>
<p>Why was everything so complicated. He was too exhausted for this.</p>
<p>“Please?”</p>
<p>Gaster sighed, picked up his pebble and knocked back three times. He didn’t bother hiding anything this time. Just took off his gloves and put them aside. <em>“What is this about, doctor?”</em> he eyed the stoat with suspicion as they walked in and gently closed the door.</p>
<p>“I wanted to apologize,” they said quietly.</p>
<p>He certainly didn’t expect that. Still, he remained… cautious. <em>“Go on?”</em></p>
<p>Pean grumbled something and shuffled their feet in frustration. Gaster knew that feeling far too well. “I’m sorry for what I said earlier. I… I didn’t mean to imply that you just feeling better isn’t good enough because it’s not the perfect solution. I can’t say I understand how important this is to you, because I don’t, and… <em>shit</em>.” They rubbed the bridge of their nose, finally looking him in the eye. “And sorry for pushing on an obviously sore spot.”</p>
<p><em>“I admit I have far too many of those,”</em> Gaster conceded hesitantly. <em>“But still, if you think that-”</em></p>
<p>“Oh for fuck’s sake, listen to me for a second here,” Pean interrupted him, reeling back anger for a moment before they managed to calm themselves. “I am not here to stop you from making the brace or whatever you call it.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“What are you here for, then?”</em>
</p>
<p>“To help you out.”</p>
<p>Gaster scoffed. This entire day had his mood sour and thus not really one for jokes.</p>
<p>“No, really. I know that you’re going to do this with or without my permission. I don’t want you to hurt yourself. So I’m going to help you navigate this as safely as possible. I don’t think you realize just how <em>dangerous</em> what you’re trying to do could be.”</p>
<p><em>“Enlighten me then! How much?!”</em> Gaster retorted without thinking. Of course he knew it was dangerous. It suddenly felt like the doctor was trying to poke holes into his work, into his resolve-</p>
<p>“A <em>lot!</em>” they hissed through bared teeth. “If done wrong, this could severely injure or even <em>kill</em> you! It’s going to put enormous amounts of pressure on your body <em>and</em> soul for several hours at a time, and if I know you, you’re definitely planning to do that on the daily. And that’s something you can’t just. <em>Mess around</em> with, do you realize that?!”</p>
<p>Of course he did. He was just… riled up and…</p>
<p>Stars, he was being irrational and just antagonizing the poor healer for no reason, wasn’t he? They weren’t there to judge. They really just wanted to help. He groaned and covered his face in frustration, mainly aimed at himself and how this managed to just completely throw him off balance. <em>“Okay,”</em> he said after a half a minute when his anger finally seeped away. <em>“What do you propose?”</em></p>
<p>“Great.” Even the healer seemed to finally relax. “Just show me the plans and we’ll see from there. It’s like, a very tight chest piece that you’ll run your magic through to keep a certain form, right?”</p>
<p>Gaster nodded and pointed at the papers laid out in front of him. Pean started examining them with a critical eye without a moment of hesitation. He almost forgot that this was how most science was done. By teamwork. <em>“The shape should stay the same, but the carved circuit might change a little bit still,”</em> he added.</p>
<p>“I don’t understand that anyways,” they grinned and tapped a claw over the diagrams. “Now, that’s a pretty drastic brace you’ve got there, so I’ll start with some general safety tips and then we’ll adjust the padding on this thing because <em>stars</em>, you’d end up with terrible bruises just from lifting your arms within the first week like this.”</p>
<p>It really was entirely different when you had a second pair of eyes that knew what they were doing.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Trutnau dropped off the brace exactly when she promised, and spent about twenty minutes after coming profusely apologizing for letting Pean know what was going on. Apparently they just waltzed into her forge one day with a suspicious look on their face. While she was working on the brace. They must’ve pieced things together.</p>
<p>And maybe she also said something she shouldn’t have because their stare was <em>really</em> scary.</p>
<p>Gaster barely managed to reassure her that it was okay. Pean was a sharp monster and it was inevitable, after all. Still, he had to basically shove the sack of coins into her hands for her to accept it.</p>
<p>She awkwardly showed him how to open and close it and explained the changes she made (reinforced some of the hinges of the front opening, and added some slits and openings to the main part, so that the metal had at least <em>some</em> kind of flexibility before deforming). The moment she was done, she told him to stop by the forge once he finishes so she could see it in action and vanished as fast as she could.</p>
<p>He wasn’t sure he’d ever seen a dragon look so nervous. Huh.</p>
<p>Well, he didn’t wait much after she left before he started working. He just took out his blueprints, opened the brace and begun carving, only stopping when he absolutely needed to. Every time he did, his mind kept going back to the circuitry, mulling it over and over. He might’ve cut a visit or two short because of it. And maybe skipped something like sleep.</p>
<p>The scientist just wanted it to be <em>done</em>.</p>
<p>Eventually, it was.</p>
<p>Cautiously, he summoned his blue and just ran it through the inner circuit. It seemed to be fine and properly connected, but he couldn’t really tell if it <em>worked</em> until he actually had it on. Which was kind of a scary prospect. And one he should’ve probably left for after he had some sleep.</p>
<p>But it was still early afternoon and Gaster sort of dreaded testing it. So it was better to get it over with as soon as possible, right?</p>
<p>He laid down the opened brace on the edge of his bed. That was the easy part. Now for the hard one.</p>
<p>After taking a deep breath, he turned around, turned himself blue and shrunk down to the correct size, before he basically fell backwards into the armorpiece. Focus. Focus. He shuffled to the correct position inside of it. Closed the front and fumbled with the leather straps before he managed to tighten them up properly. <em>Now would be the absolute worst time for him to lose grasp of his magic.</em></p>
<p>He closed his eyes and very anxiously redirected all that blue into the metal.</p>
<p>There was an empty space where his magic should have been. Or, where it normally was.</p>
<p>Slowly and cautiously, he opened his eyes again.</p>
<p>It… worked?</p>
<p>It worked.</p>
<p>No, that couldn’t be right. Surely he was just imagining things.</p>
<p>He laid there for almost three minutes as he tried to process what just happened, before it finally, properly clicked.</p>
<p>
  <em>Stars above it actually worked.</em>
</p>
<p>Gaster started out with a chuckle, before spiraling into a full-blown laugh. The brace sure made it feel weird but he didn’t mind. Instead he just tried to stand up and spent the next minute figuring out how to do that with his new limitations on movement, eventually finding out he had to roll over and push himself up with his arms. This thing was going to give them quite the workout, it seemed.</p>
<p>Every one of his movements was accompanied by a dull pressure making itself known <em>somewhere</em>, but he didn’t mind. Everything felt strange, but also familiar. He <em>knew</em> this body. This was <em>him</em> again.</p>
<p>It <em>worked!</em></p>
<p>While at first he just shifted his weight around slowly, it didn’t take long before before he was basically bouncing around the lab. Spinning. Twirling. Catching his breath for a few moments because the thing limited his air intake and he might’ve been overdoing it on the activity side just a little bit, before going back to running around the next second. Just being goofy and enjoying feeling like he might just burst with happy energy for once.</p>
<p>He didn’t notice he was glowing purple until he tried to hug both of the soul containers (at once) and the glass reflected the color back at him. He didn’t even have to worry about scratching it! And- And if his previous tests with the gloves weren’t a fluke, the cramping and control issues would be gone too.</p>
<p>…Nonetheless, he would still wait with moving them by hand, just to make sure.</p>
<p>Gaster was feeling short of breath from the all-encompassing pressure around his chest but he continued laughing anyways. <em>“I did it!”</em> he signed at the two. <em>“I still might…”</em></p>
<p>Then he paused, realising something.</p>
<p>He could- He <em>had</em> to finally visit Grillby’s.</p>
<p><em>“You- You two better behave while I’m gone!<em>" Gaster scrambled around for his lab coat and pulled it over the brace. </em>”I’ll be back in, like, a few hours,"</em> he turned back to them, half in a joke, half reminding himself of what he’d been told repeatedly. The awakening process would probably take several days, and couldn’t just happen the moment he took his eyes off them.</p>
<p>They would be fine without him. Just for a little while.</p>
<p>He buttoned his ‘lab’ coat up (it covered the brace quite nicely, actually) and gave them one last glance before waving goodbye and getting out of the door.</p>
<p>Oh. <em>Out.</em> He was going somewhere and was <em>not</em> terrified of it!</p>
<p>Walk turned into a run within the first three steps and <em>stars, Pean was going to have his head for this.</em></p>
<hr/>
<p>Gaster managed to stop himself in front of the establishment’s door just long enough to catch his breath and stop looking flushed. He could tell he was going to regret all that fast and wide movement the next day.</p>
<p>But he couldn’t wait much, he had to go in, he was going to visit Grillby’s for the first time-</p>
<p>When he pushed the door open, he was grinning so wide his face hurt.</p>
<p>“Wing,” Grillby blinked at him in surprise, waving at the monster he was talking with to wait a moment. “Are you short- less tall, I mean. Or. Or am I.”</p>
<p>He gave up on trying to form a coherent sentence and just walked from behind the counter towards his friend, who could currently be best described as ‘vibrating with excitement’. Gaster’s left eye was glowing purple like nobody’s business and he was springing on his feet on the spot. Probably trying to stop himself from straight up tackling the fire monster.</p>
<p>Truly, an image of energy about to burst. Grillby almost couldn’t believe what he was seeing. “Oh,” he crackled softly, oranges warming up and his flames glowing brighter than they did in a good while. “Come on, you absolute goof.” He opened up his arms.</p>
<p>Gaster didn’t need to be told twice and lunged at him, enveloping him in a tight (and strangely stiff) hug, almost knocking the air out of him.</p>
<p>“Someone’s really happ- <em>ack!</em>”</p>
<p>Grillby didn’t really expect him to stand up to his full height without letting go. And while the fire monster wasn’t short by any means, Gaster was still <em>considerably taller</em>.</p>
<p>So he just got hoisted up into the air.</p>
<p>To top it all of, the scientist started <em>spinning</em>, bursting into his raspy but incredibly genuine laugh. And Grillby couldn’t help but to join. He hadn’t seen him this happy since he came to tell him he got his internship accepted <em>years</em> ago.</p>
<p>Eventually he was gently put down and both of them slowly caught their breath inbetween laughing as their worlds settled. Gaster excited to be able to be the one visiting his friend again for once. To be able to hug him without being scared of clawing through his back. And Grillby ecstatic about his friend just being there and <em>happy</em> again after what felt like forever.</p>
<p>As the fire monster’s vision stopped tilting, he realized Gaster was leaning against the counter at a strange angle, fighting for air a tiny big harder than he should have. “Are you okay. Am I too heavy.”</p>
<p>He got a wide grin in response. Followed by signs so quick and chaotic the scientist must’ve literally just do them as thoughts entered his mind, maybe even a tiny bit quicker. <em>“Actually, yes! What a mystery, I have no idea how someone who’s made out of a single chunk of rock and then just shaped magic can weight so much. I wonder how that works? But you’re still light! This is mainly, well, because, uh,”</em> he gently knocked at his own chest, <em>“I’m compressed all weird and doing things Pean explicitly told me not to do and it all feels super strange and floaty and blunt and- but it’s worth it all!”</em></p>
<p>Then he pulled Grillby into another hug. “Al-alright, you’ll have to fill me in on context later, I suppose,” the bartender chuckled. “I’m happy you came.” The hug tightened for a second and Grillby felt Gaster shudder before he slowly let go, drying off beginning tears.</p>
<p>
  <em>“I’m happy I could.”</em>
</p>
<p>They both turned their attention to the door behind them that suddenly opened, panting Felicity standing in it. Desperately trying to catch her breath. “L-lad, stars. Those long legs of yours. Awfully quick. You okay? I saw you bolt out of the labs and-”</p>
<p>She stopped as she finally lifted her eyes off the floor and noticed the beaming (but visibly previously crying) Gaster nodding at her. She seemed genuinely puzzled, not really knowing what to make of the situation.</p>
<p>“Hey. He’s fine, but I have to warn you about one thing. He’s in a hugging mood.” Grillby followed this statement up with a crackle and earned himself an even more confused look from the cat monster.</p>
<p>“W-well,” she tried to get her bearings back together, eyes darting between the two, “If he wants to hug me, he certainly can.” She straightened up and tried to give Gaster a confident grin. The monster in question looked at Grillby, slightly unsure just for a moment, before he turned to her and gave her one back.</p>
<p>Just a second later, she got lifted up into the air with an undignified squeak. “Who-whoa! You really are happy,” she chuckled, half in shock, as she carefully tried to squeeze her colleague back. “Just look at yourself! So I guess that mysterious project of yours worked out in the end, hm?”</p>
<p>Gaster put her back on the ground and nodded again. He seemed to be slowing down a little. <em>“Yes.”</em></p>
<p>“Was I the only one kept in the dark about this project of yours,” Grillby asked, seeming genuinely curious.</p>
<p><em>“N-no. I tried to keep it secret, in case. It didn’t work, but…”</em> The scientist walked over to the counter and sat down to lean against it, signs suddenly growing sluggish. <em>“Felicity saw… a little bit… but… not…”</em></p>
<p>Against his own will, his arms slid as he basically laid down on the bar. It definitely wasn’t comfortable, but he was <em>empty</em>.</p>
<p>“And there it is,” Felicity noted with a knowing tone. Gaster grumbled something in response, but didn’t expend any energy on signing. His eyes were more than half-lidded at this point.</p>
<p>Grillby crackled as he stood over him. “Okay, sleepyhead. How many days in a row have you been awake.”</p>
<p>He had to frown as he mentally counted before he lifted three- no, four fingers.</p>
<p>“How about you go get some sleep then.”</p>
<p>Gaster’s frown deepened as he tried to push himself up again. If him and Pean truly agreed upon something it was that falling asleep or unconscious in something that required his magic to run was to be avoided at any cost.</p>
<p>“Hey, I know you want to talk and explain things. I get it. But we’ll be both be here even after you rest. The bar isn’t going to grow legs and walk away and you will be always welcome here.”</p>
<p>Gaster shook his head, more to clear out thoughts than to respond. <em>“K.”</em> He ended up smiling up at the flame. Before following it up with something pretty mangled. He couldn’t really seem to get his vocabulary straight. Still, Grillby managed to get the general meaning.</p>
<p>“And I’ll be looking forward your visit. But now, you should really go to bed. Can you make it home. I can let you crash at my place if not.”</p>
<p>Gaster slowly staggered to his feet and waved him away. <em>“No. Home,”</em> he just replied and rubbed his eye.</p>
<p>“Alright then.” The fire monster shot a glance in Felicity’s direction and she nodded.</p>
<p>“I’ll come with you and make sure you don’t get lost or like, fall over on the way,” she gave Gaster a friendly pat on the back and gently pushed him towards the door. “Let’s get going.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>so yeah I totally underestimated the size of this chapter and thus the time I would need to write and edit it?? I should stop trying to estimate things lmao.</p>
<p>*points at the first scene* the first version of that was literally the second thing I wrote for this fic period. And it was titled 'Gaster being stupid' which, honestly, he is, dude's sincerely lucky he doesn't have internal organs to mess up with this. But hey, it works, right?? also it's probably my favorite thing that's in the fic so far, yes I'm stupidly proud of that camel and straw line :"DD</p>
<p>anyways I'M leaving y'all with a hug scene as it might take a hot second or two before the next update bcs I basically have NO drafts for the next few chapters, but there's finally going to be some proper Royal Sciencing(tm)!! I also made a writing blog to post updates to etc. at cloaked-saurosuchus at tumblr. so. I guess that's a thing I have now.</p>
<p>also if there's any errors in this pls tell me I've looked this over but it's literally 1AM as I'm posting this;; and as always thanks for reading :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. That Makes Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Gaster talks to someone other than Grillby, is this real?? (although the emotional support bartender is still present)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gaster slept like a log, and would sleep like that for another century, if there wasn’t this incessant knocking.</p>
<p>Growing louder and louder every second.</p>
<p>Although involuntarily, he somehow managed to get up and threw the first thing he found at the door to let the person who woke him up know he’s coming. Eventually.</p>
<p>It took him five minutes, and that was <em>after</em> he decided to skip trying to get into the brace. Everything hurt and he probably still looked barely presentable, but he was too bleary to really care. Whoever knocked would simply have to deal with it for once.</p>
<p>At last, he opened the door.</p>
<p>He didn’t know <em>who</em> he expected, but Pean certainly wasn’t it. It threw him off so much he forgot to greet them. He stood there and stared, trying to make sense of it.</p>
<p>“Uh, hello doctor Gaster? Are you alright?” they asked with a raised eyebrow.</p>
<p><em>“Ah, yes. Hello doctor,”</em> he finally remembered his manners. <em>“You’re… You’re…”</em> This couldn’t be right. Nothing in his mental calendar was aligning how it should. He worked on the brace for four days, but that would mean… <em>“Two days early?”</em></p>
<p>They frowned at each other in confusion.</p>
<p>“No? It’s… It’s Saturday? We agreed on today,” Pean’s deepened even further.</p>
<p>That couldn’t… It would mean he left Grillby and Felicity hanging, without the explanations he promised (or was pretty sure he promised, stars, he barely remembered <em>anything</em>), for two days and almost a third-</p>
<p>His guest sighed and dragged him back to the present. “You overworked yourself, didn’t you,” they squinted at him suspiciously.</p>
<p>Oh boy. <em>“M-maybe?”</em> Gaster tried to smile and started rubbing the back of his neck before he realised what he was doing. That wasn’t very inconspicuous. He did the thing they <em>specifically</em> told him not to, now they would chew him out for sure.</p>
<p>“Okay. Alright then,” they responded instead, dragging paws down their face. “Figured out it was inevitable anyways.”</p>
<p>He blinked in surprise. They were <em>much</em> calmer than he expected.</p>
<p>“Hey! Don’t give me that look,” they frowned again and the fierceness made Gaster back up two steps. “I am <em>not</em> letting you off the hook for this. I just don’t feel like bullying someone who doesn’t have their head functioning correctly yet. I’ll come back tomorrow and you better think through your reasons before that, you hear?”</p>
<p><em>“Yes,”</em> he nodded, perhaps a little bit too enthusiastically. Stars, they could really be terrifying sometimes. No wonder Trutnau spilled the beans.</p>
<p>Pean returned to their normal, tired expression in a snap. “Good.” Before he could do anything else, they pushed him inside through the half-open door and waved. “See you tomorrow, until then: <em>rest.</em>”</p>
<p>Or else, lingered the unspoken almost-threat in the air after the door clicked closed.</p>
<p>He really overdid it. He actually slept that long.</p>
<p>It made sense. Now that he thought about it, his memory was full of holes. It was a small miracle he made it back from Grillby’s at all. But that wasn’t the worst. That was the fact he kept both his friend and Felicity in the dark.</p>
<p>Gaster grabbed his brace. He couldn’t <em>rest</em>. He had to fix this, he had to make this up to them, he had to do something with it, and he had to do it <em>now</em>.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Half an hour later, he was at Felicity’s lab door, the brace making him uncomfortable and tired, but still. He was determined to do <em>something</em>.</p>
<p>At least for now. He knocked and hoped that the feeling would last for at least the next forty-five seconds.</p>
<p>“Oh! Look who’s awake!” the cat monster almost instantaneously opened the door, grinning widely. Air thick with moisture wafted out of the room - she must’ve watered her current batch of projects only moments ago.</p>
<p><em>“Mostly awake, yes,”</em> Gaster nodded and gave her an apologetic look.</p>
<p>“Pff, same thing, especially with you,” she dismissed it with a wave. “Well, what do I owe your visit to?”</p>
<p><em>“I wanted to… I wanted to…”</em> He stopped. There went the last bits of his courage. Turns out he was still an absolute coward.</p>
<p>Felicity tilted her head to the side and her whiskers twitched. “You wanted to what?”</p>
<p>Gaster had to take a deep breath. She didn’t seem angry, this was <em>fine</em>, it was going to be fine. Hopefully. <em>“Explain a thing or two I think I owe you.”</em> There, he did it, he said it, he-</p>
<p>“Oh, <em>finally</em> you’re going to talk!” The cheeriness she almost sang with definitely wasn’t what he expected. “How about we go to Grillby’s after I’m done here? I need to record some things, and it sure would be a little easier to talk over something tasty in the company of a friend, hm?” she winked at him.</p>
<p>He shrunk a little but smiled back. He was <em>that</em> readable, huh. <em>“Yes. That sounds- That’s a good idea.”</em></p>
<p>“Alright then! I’ll pick you up within an hour, okay?”</p>
<p>He nodded. <em>“Yeah. I’ll be in my lab.”</em></p>
<hr/>
<p>They sat down right at the bar. Gaster had the feeling that it’ll become one of his favorite spots pretty soon.</p>
<p>He got a curious look from Grillby and that decided which explanation was due first.</p>
<p><em>“So the entire thing,”</em> he knocked on the small metal piece that poked out of the lab coat gently as he was finishing with it, <em>“Basically runs on my blue magic and keeps me in shape. Although I shouldn’t overexcert myself in it for various reasons, it works, I guess.”</em> Gaster paused as he thought something over. <em>"Oh, and, if you see me falling asleep in it, please don’t let me, that could be…</em> Really <em>bad. Or not. But I</em> definitely <em>don’t want to test it."</em></p>
<p>“Noted. Interesting thing you have there. Though I never thought you’d be the type for a corset,” Grillby added, half in joke.</p>
<p>To his surprise, Gaster lit up and snapped his fingers at him. <em>“Grillby, you’re a genius!”</em></p>
<p>“What.”</p>
<p><em>"‘Corset’ is a</em> much <em>better word for that godforsaken thing than ‘magic torso brace’. It’s clearer, shorter, simpler but gets the point across and-"</em></p>
<p>Both the bartender and Felicity burst into quiet snickering as Gaster beamed over something so mundane. “I guess- I guess I learned how to simplify your sciency things over the years, heh. But it’s not such a big deal, is it. I just found a word.” Grillby shrugged as he watched his friend scribble it down to not forget it.</p>
<p><em>“You have-”</em> his head immediately shot up and the bartender knew he was up for a ramble, <em>"You have no idea how</em> big <em>of a deal it is when someone who can use and find simple words gets to explain science."</em> He had to put down the little journal as he almost flung it into Felicity’s face with one of his excited gestures. <em>“Without that, I swear we’d get stuck in a feedback loop of terms and being completely incomprehensible to anyone even remotely outside of our closest circle-”</em></p>
<p>“The lad has a very good point,” Felicity hummed in agreement.</p>
<p>“Okay, alright, I get it, compliment accepted,” Grillby finally conceded with an amused crackle. Then he put the back of his hand on his forehead and leaned backwards. “Help, I’m being barraged with compliments by people far smarter than me.”</p>
<p>They joked around for a while, and Gaster was glad. He needed the levity. Especially when he knew the inevitable… second topic he’d have to touch on with Felicity.</p>
<p>He wasn’t looking forward to it.</p>
<p>“By the way, I don’t mean to be a killjoy or to pry, but <em>how</em> did you even end up with an affliction like <em>that?</em> Is it like, a skeleton thing?” she finally turned to him.</p>
<p>There it was. And although there was a fire elemental present, the temperature felt like it dropped a good few degrees.</p>
<p>Felicity cursed as she saw Gaster wilt. “Shit, I <em>am</em> a killjoy with this, I see. You don’t have to tell me, I can get too curious at times, I shouldn’t have-”</p>
<p><em>“No, no,”</em> he interrupted her with a hand wave and found himself unable to meet her eyes. <em>“It’s okay. I said I owe you an explanation or two, and this… This is the second one.”</em></p>
<p>Stars, he was mentally preparing for this for hours, why were his thoughts suddenly in such an ungraspable flurry?</p>
<p>“Young man?”</p>
<p>“Wing, are you alright.”</p>
<p>She was going to hate him after this for sure, like any reasonable monster would-</p>
<p>“Wing, <em>breathe</em>. Inhale, exhale.”</p>
<p>Gaster latched onto the rhythm and his thoughts slowly came back into focus.</p>
<p>“Inhale… Exhale. There. You can stop clutching the mug now, I don’t think that shattering one in your hand is a pleasant experience. Are you alright.”</p>
<p>He nodded hesitantly at the fire elemental, who was speaking quieter than usual and leaning over to him, he realised, and slowly loosened his grip.</p>
<p>Felicity was still right next to him, looking rather worried. “You don’t have to tell me anything, are you okay?”</p>
<p>Gaster shook his head vigorously. <em>“Yes- no- I mean, I’m fine, I just- I just need to- It’s not exactly the happiest topic and I-”</em> Stars, what a mess, but if he didn’t tell her now, he would never-</p>
<p>“I can let you two into the kitchen. You’ll have much more privacy. If you want to, of course,” the bartender offered.</p>
<p>And it was a good offer. He always managed to think of everything, somehow. Gaster looked up to him with relief while Felicity’s eyes ticked between the two, trying to assess the gravity of the situation. <em>“Yes. I think that’s a good idea.”</em> Then he turned to the cat monster. <em>“Are you… Are you sure you want me to tell you now? Or at all? It’s not really… fun.”</em></p>
<p>“We shouldn’t be worrying about <em>me</em> here, sheesh,” she shuffled on her seat nervously. “If you think it’s important, then yes, I think I can take it. Are you sure <em>you’re</em> okay with this?”</p>
<p>He looked over to Grillby, who nodded encouragingly. “If anything, I’m right behind the door.”</p>
<p>That sealed it. He gave him a soft, thankful smile and turned back to Felicity. <em>“I think. I’ll try.”</em></p>
<hr/>
<p>Grillby, as he promised, was right at the bar, the door behind him. And he didn’t plan on moving anywhere until their conversation was over. He gave his patrons the excuse that he had to keep an eye on something in the kitchen, which wasn’t even a lie. It worked.</p>
<p>He wasn’t… eavesdropping, per se. He was just listening in case something was about to go wrong. Which was the only time the conversation could be loud enough for him to hear, anyways.</p>
<p>He hoped the relative silence was a good sign. Either Felicity was letting Wing talk, or she was cautious enough to keep low.</p>
<p>At least until the very end.</p>
<p>He didn’t catch the exact word, but it sounded unhappy, perhaps even angry, and <em>definitely</em> shouted.</p>
<p>Without prior warning, Felicity barged through the door and practically stormed out of the establishment. She looked, well, furious. He had never seen someone quite as bristled as her before.</p>
<p>Wing stumbled out half a minute later, nearly tripped over the threshold and gave him a short, half-empty look as he righted himself to lean against the closest wall. He was trembling.</p>
<p>“Are you okay.”</p>
<p>He responded with a sheepish, unsure look. <em>“Do you think she hates me?”</em></p>
<p>Stars, he didn’t like what was creeping into his friend’s features. “No, Wing. No, I don’t think so, why would you think that-”</p>
<p>
  <em>“I wouldn’t blame her, I’m terrible and an abomination and if she never spoke to me again it would be only fair, and-”</em>
</p>
<p>“Wing, that’s not true, none of this is your fault, please stop,” he nearly pleaded.</p>
<p>The monster in question wiped away a beginning tear but actually paused.</p>
<p>“It’s okay. It just must’ve been a lot for her, I’m sure. How much did you… You told her, right. How much.”</p>
<p><em>“Oh, if you think I’d show her you severely overestimate this coward,”</em> Wing smiled but it was pained. He didn’t meet his eyes. <em>“Most… I told her most of it. I skipped the exact numbers but I think she knows where I was going with it. She knows that I…”</em> His tremble grew stronger. <em>“She knows that I-”</em></p>
<p>“It’s going to be okay, alright. I’m sure she’ll be back soon, hm,” Grillby very gently pushed his hands down, knowing well Wing wouldn’t be able to finish that sentence anyways.</p>
<p>His friend shuddered and broke into full-blown tears. <em>“I wish I could be as much as an optimist as you are.”</em> He looked absolutely miserable and the bartender was suddenly incredibly glad his customers took the hint and left them alone with plenty of space. <em>“What if it’s not going to be okay? What then?”</em></p>
<p>“Then nothing of value was lost.”</p>
<p>Wing let out a half-broken laugh. <em>“When you barely have anything, everything has a valu-”</em></p>
<p>The door to the bar opened and they both froze.</p>
<p>Felicity was standing in them, ears pushed backwards and gaze fierce. After half a second of universal shock from everyone involved, she ran behind the counter and grabbed the now-terrified Wing by his wrist to drag him into the kitchen. He was too surprised to resist.</p>
<p>Grillby quietly followed, making sure the doors were closed properly and that he had a small summoned bullet at hand, just in case.</p>
<p>“Young man,” Felicity pointed at Wing’s chest and stared right into his eyes, basically shocking him out of crying, “If anyone <em>ever</em> tries to hurt you again, <em>human or not</em>, I will personally wring their fucking ne-”</p>
<p>She had to pause to breathe because in her fury she apparently forgot, and Grillby dismissed the little flame. He was pretty sure Wing noticed.</p>
<p>“I will wring their neck, and that I promise you,” she finally hissed out and took a step back from the dazed monster.</p>
<p>“You’d have to get in line,” Grillby noted from the door and got himself a determined nod in response.</p>
<p>“We’ll kick their fucking asses to the surface and back,” Felicity turned back to the scientist. “Hear, lad?! You can <em>bet</em> on that.”</p>
<p>Wing tried to take a deep breath before responding.</p>
<p>Instead, he burst into tears again.</p>
<p>Which shocked Felicity, for a change. Within a moment, she was apologizing, her anger dissipated. He stopped her with a wave. After he wiped his face several times, it was fairly obvious he was smiling.</p>
<p><em>“Stars, you scared me for a second there, please don’t do that again. But you two. I swear.”</em> At this point he realised that drying the tears off was pretty much impossible. <em>“An agricultural scientist and a bartender? Fighting a human? Please don’t. I appreciate the thought, but I don’t think you’d stand much of a chance.”</em></p>
<p>Felicity’s shoulders dropped, the tenseness in them gone, and she smiled back at Wing mischievously. “Don’t underestimate me. I might be a <em>scientist</em>, but I get my paws dirty with the actual ‘agriculture’ part of the deal too. You’d be surprised by how much I can lift. And throw.”</p>
<p>“And you seem to keep forgetting that <em>I</em> am <em>literally</em> made out of fire,” Grillby added.</p>
<p>Wing let out a short, soft laugh, before getting serious again. <em>“No, but seriously, please don’t fight? For me or not? Fighting sucks.”</em></p>
<p>“Sheesh, we know, lad,” Felicity rolled her eyes. “That’s why we’re not going to let anyone fight you ever again, right?” she turned to the bartender, who nodded enthusiastically.</p>
<p>The scientist still sunk a little to the floor at the prospect.</p>
<p>“Hey, it’s our decision to help you if we do. You don’t owe us anything for it. And you can’t really stop us either.”</p>
<p><em>“I won’t be changing your minds, huh,”</em> Wing looked directly at him with certain resignation. <em>“Just… Try to not kick the bucket if you do. I’d rather… I’d rather not be the cause of either of you turning to dust.”</em></p>
<p>From the look Grillby got, he was pretty sure he was referring to the fact that he was rather douse-able, when it came down to it. “Oh, you won’t be getting rid of me <em>that</em> easily,” he tried to lighten up the mood.</p>
<p>Except it didn’t seem to help this time. The kitchen went quiet.</p>
<p>It took about a minute before something could be heard shattering from behind the door and reminded them of the fact that Grillby, in fact, had a bar to run. “Ah shoot, I hope nothing- How about we go back to making dumb jokes about you two being nerds. I think this is enough serious for today.”</p>
<p>He watched as Wing thankfully nodded and even actually smiled. He couldn’t imagine how exhausting all of this must’ve been for him.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Yes. Yes, let’s do that, please.”</em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>The day after, Gaster was busying himself with trying to figure out whichever schematic for those receivers was the latest version. For some reason, he stopped numbering them at a certain point (note to self, don’t do that ever again, terrible idea) and a good chunk of them were borderline incomprehensible. Oh joy.</p>
<p>Somebody was knocking. Hang on, who would- Oh.</p>
<p>He stood up to let them in. <em>“Good morning.”</em></p>
<p>“Good morning doctor Gaster, let’s get this started,” they sat down at the paper-covered table, side-eyeing it a little. They seemed as tired as always. “So, how are you feeling today?”</p>
<p>He sat opposite to them and mulled it over a little bit. <em>“Good. I’m feeling good today,”</em> he finally answered and smiled.</p>
<p>“Okay. Then we should- <em>wait a second.</em>” They turned from their opened bag to the scientist, eyes wide. “‘Good’? Not ‘good <em>enough</em>’? Not ‘fine’? Just ‘good’ with <em>no caveats?</em>”</p>
<p>Gaster nodded with a shrug. He <em>did</em> feel decent today, actually.</p>
<p>“That’s- That’s-” He caught them by surprise, it seemed. “Very good news!” they suddenly grinned as something sparked in their eyes. “Oh you sly fox, you finished the brace, didn’t you? That would explain a lot.”</p>
<p>He nodded again. This was the first time he had seen them <em>this</em> energetic. <em>“Do you… Do you want to see? It’s kind of a hassle to get into, but-”</em></p>
<p>“Of <em>course</em> I want to see, show me everything!” They got up from their chair. “I take it you already tried it?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Y-yeah, actually.”</em>
</p>
<p>They wrung their paws together. “I have <em>so many questions</em>.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Happy 2021! May we fight it tooth and nail and kick its ass.</p>
<p>Anyways, I'm back to writing this and it feels good. Hopefully I'll get to some of the ~fun~ stuff this year but no promises, turns out I am really bad at estimating how long things take me :"D</p>
<p>As always, if you find any typos etc. let me know, you know the drill ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. The Much Needed Pit Stop</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Gaster is reminded that passage of time, is, in fact, a thing.</p>
<p>Cause it's his birthday.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alright. The crystal seemed to take to his magic without any issues. A small miracle all by itself. He poked the two concentric disks in front of him gently, and came to the conclusion that they were slotted into each other tight enough. Which meant that now he just had to connect it all and he’d be set. He had to be careful, though. He had to put it in… just the right… spot…</p>
<p>Somebody knocked on the door and after realising he was both in his brace and gloves, he barely spared it any thought. He just opened it with blue, without even looking at it. Gentle, and… There!</p>
<p>He pushed away his chair just a little bit, watching the device with bated breath. No strange buzzing. No heat <em>or</em> smoke coming off the amplifier when it shouldn’t, either. Maybe he actually did it this time, finall-</p>
<p>“Hey there, young man.”</p>
<p>He nearly jumped. Oh. He forgot he let someone in. Oops. <em>“Yes! Uh, hello!”</em> he turned to the visitor with an apologetic smile, hoping to fix his- Hang on. <em>“Felicity? Hi.”</em> She was poking out from behind Altair and Deneb, who were currently taking up most of his desk, with a mischievous grin.</p>
<p>“What is it?”</p>
<p><em>“Just. Wasn’t expecting you, I guess,”</em> he shrugged in response. <em>He</em> was the one picking <em>her</em> up, usually, and really only on Fridays. She and Grillby were on a quest to make him a little less of a shut-in, but they were all pretty busy with their jobs. And being around people again, being <em>seen</em>, could still feel overwhelming for Gaster at times, after… Everything. So they had an appointed day of the week to meet up.</p>
<p>Today wasn’t it.</p>
<p>“Oh. <em>I</em> expected <em>that</em>,” she retorted with a proud grin. He made a big show out of rolling his eyes but chuckled anyways. “But!” Gaster perked up as she paused. “Your work day should be over anyways. Let’s go grab something.”</p>
<p><em>“Actually,”</em> he waved over the half-disassembled mess of boards and crystals currently in front of him, <em>“I think it’ll take me an hour or so more. I need to-”</em></p>
<p>“Hang on, how much time do you have left today? Like, in the, uh,” she gestured all over his person, “Corset?”</p>
<p>Ah. Gaster fished out his journal and opened it up at the very last page. Pean made sure he understood that he needs to increase his time in the brace <em>very</em> slowly to get used to it and find his limits. Also they wanted detailed reports. <em>“About three hours and a smidge right now,”</em> he let her know when he found the correct row and put the booklet away. <em>“Why?”</em></p>
<p>“Well, we can’t just waste <em>three hours!</em>” She grabbed his sleeve and pulled on it with more force than he anticipated. "Pack up your things <em>right now</em> so we can go!</p>
<p><em>“Why?”</em> he tried to protest but Felicity managed to drag him just an inch further from his desk every pull.</p>
<p>“Because your work day is over,” she huffed, “And we can’t have you overworking yourself again!”</p>
<p>
  <em>“But-”</em>
</p>
<p>“No buts.”</p>
<p>She looked and sounded like she wasn’t going to budge. So he sighed and lifted his arms up. <em>“Alright. I’m giving up.”</em> He barely managed to grab the one receiver he didn’t break apart and put it into his chest pocket when Felicity beamed and dragged him off the chair with newfound energy. “Wonderful! Great! Let’s go!”</p>
<p>He waved an awkward goodbye to the two souls and Felicity rushed out of the door with him in tow.</p>
<hr/>
<p>It didn’t take them long to arrive at Grillby’s, but once they did, Gaster’s confusion about what was happening only grew again. It was pitch dark. And <em>quiet</em>.</p>
<p>Felicity pushed him inside without another word.</p>
<p><em>“What is-”</em> he turned to her, barely seeing anything but her wide grin in this light. Before he could finish a sentence, she spun him back around to face the direction where the bar would be.</p>
<p>“Hush,” she whispered with a stifled snort, holding him in place.</p>
<p>He was about to respond with more questions when a tiny, purple flame appeared in front of him. He forgot his previous plan. Now all that was left in his head was absolute bafflement. What was <em>going on?</em></p>
<p>He couldn’t tear his eyes off the little light source. The flames were almost hypnotizing.</p>
<p>With a flicker, it broke in two, and then more, even smaller wisps of light, quickly multiplying in numbers. You could mistake them for strange lightning bugs.</p>
<p>The little cloud flared out and dispersed, each speck flying on its own, some behind him, some to the ceiling- Gaster tried to pay attention to every single one, but it was simply impossible due to <em>how many</em> of them there were already, and it seemed like they kept splitting up even now.</p>
<p>It didn’t take long before they all settled on the ceiling, covering it in purple almost-stars, flickering in complicated patterns of non-existent constellations.</p>
<p>They were slightly pulsing in some kind of rhythm, but before he could properly grasp it it, they were on the move again, this time gathering into a single, nearly blinding swarm that flew together around the room, swirling around him and Felicity in some kind of strange dance, before it bolted back up, spread out, flared up and-</p>
<p>Fizzled out into spent magic.</p>
<p>Gaster took a deep breath, taking it in. The magical residue filled the air with this strange sort of buzzing energy - not unlike after a thunderstorm. He hadn’t felt something like this in a while now. His eye turned purple without him even realizing it.</p>
<p><em>“That was- That was- How did you- Why did you- That must’ve taken so much-”</em> he was signing at nobody in particular, eye still darting around the ceiling, trying to catch sight of the last few dying embers.</p>
<p>He turned to his friend, who was now standing right next to him, and nearly jumped in surprise. The purple weaving through his flames was <em>incredibly</em> bold.</p>
<p>He spent a moment composing himself while Grillby compared a small summoned flame with the glow of his eye.</p>
<p>“Aw shucks, yours is a little colder in hue, I see.”</p>
<p>Something clicked and Gaster narrowed his eyes with a scoffed. The flame huffed with amusement and dispersed the bullet he was holding. “What.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Grillby, what did you eat.”</em>
</p>
<p>The pause before he answered was rather suspicious.</p>
<p>“Sylvite. Maybe.”</p>
<p><em>“Grillby?! You absolute fool,”</em> he exclaimed and shook the snickering elemental, covering the walls in dancing shadows from the only light source in the room. <em>“You’re a chef! You need your taste, you can’t go around eating this kind of a salt just willy-nilly!”</em></p>
<p>“I’m fine, I’m fine, it’ll recover by tomorrow anyways.”</p>
<p><em>“But what about tod- hang on.”</em> More things fell into place. <em>“You closed down. Why did you close down. I mean- thank you, this was all incredible and amazing and very pretty and all, but… Why all that effort? This had to be straining, even with your magic.”</em></p>
<p>The silence from both Felicity and Grillby was deafening.</p>
<p>Until the latter broke it with crackling laughter.</p>
<p>“Told you so,” he held out a hand to Felicity, shaking with every stifled laugh.</p>
<p>She just murmured a curse and started digging through her inventory. “Stars, I can’t believe you did that, young man.”</p>
<p><em>“I did what?”</em> he desperately tried to figure out what was happening.</p>
<p>“Well,” Grillby stepped past him and finally properly lit the room with a switch, “I closed down because I figured celebrating in my kitchen wasn’t the greatest idea.”</p>
<p>“You forgot your birthday, lad. You just cost me a bet,” Felicity sighed and finally took out a bunch of coins that Grillby victoriously pocketed.</p>
<p>Gaster could’ve sworn he must’ve heard the scream that went through his head as he snickered. “Happy birthday, Wing. Thirtieth, if I’m not mistaken,” he gently elbowed him. They learned few days ago that doing so properly was a health hazard now. Joints colliding with metal weren’t pleasant.</p>
<p>He made a nearly indescribable noise in response, took a step back and spun around, murmuring something. <em>“<em>Your </em>birthday!”</em> he sharply turned back around and threw his hands out. <em>"We didn’t celebrate</em> your <em>birthday! How did I-"</em></p>
<p>“Wait w-what.” It was Felicity’s turn to be perplexed.</p>
<p>Still fuming, he turned to her, gesturing wildly in the amused bartender’s direction. <em>“He’s- He’s older than me! By about a month! He had a birthday a month ago and we didn’t- I didn’t-”</em></p>
<p>“Unbelievable. I’m not dealing with one, but <em>two</em> fools right now,” she interrupted him and walked up to fire monster. “How come you didn’t say anything?”</p>
<p>He replied with a shrug and few sparks. She squinted at him angrily. He shrugged again.</p>
<p>Gaster tried to come to terms with just how much his perception of time got screwed in the meantime.</p>
<p>Felicity didn’t seem to have the intention of dropping it. “You can’t keep ‘I don’t know’-ing me forever. I would’ve-”</p>
<p>“Aah, hush,” Grillby raised his hands defensively, finally giving her at least <em>something</em> of a response. “We can deal with that later. Now it’s <em>Wing’s</em> birthday here, hm.”</p>
<p>She grumbled something along the lines of it not being over, but finally let go of it. Instead, she grabbed the birthday person, who was too busy figuring out how the hell he ended up here to protest or resist, and pushed him onto one of the chairs by the counter. Without much hesitation, the bartender joined them, but instead of walking <em>behind</em> the bar as he normally would, he hopped on top of it, sitting down cross-legged. He wrung his hands. “So.”</p>
<p>Felicity got onto one of the stools and her tone immediately shifted into cheeriness. “So!”</p>
<p>Gaster furrowed his brows. <em>“…So?”</em></p>
<p>Grillby looked at Felicity, quiet.</p>
<p>When she didn’t get the memo, he gently poked her.</p>
<p>“Oh, shoot, yeah! I have the gifts, uh-” She started shuffling through her inventory, but the second she noticed Gaster’s puzzled expression, she stopped. “Lad. You didn’t think we wouldn’t get you a gift, did you?”</p>
<p>The way she sounded almost concerned completely disarmed him. <em>“I mean, I- I-”</em> he tried to defend himself before he gave up and shrugged. <em>“You two have done a lot- many things for me in the past few weeks already and- and I- I just- I think that is a gift in itself enough? I don’t know- I don’t think anything more is necessary and-”</em></p>
<p>“Dear <em>stars</em> you’re sappy,” she snorted and he stopped. “That’s very nice of you, but that’s not how birthdays work, dear <em>Royal Scientist</em>. One would think someone of your caliber would be aware of this fact.” Her grin widened as she finally found the correct item and a soft packet appeared in her arms. It was bound with parchment paper and string, nothing looking <em>too</em> glorious, but she still held it out to him proudly. “Happy birthday, young lad. Here’s something from me, Grillby, and few others.”</p>
<p>He blinked several times, wordless. And few others? That was. Uh.</p>
<p>“Come on, take it,” she nudged him and he complied.</p>
<p>It was heavier than he expected, so he set it down on the counter as Grillby shuffled out of the way. He kept watching him intently as he untied the string.</p>
<p>Gaster stopped as he saw what was inside.</p>
<p>
  <em>“What.”</em>
</p>
<p>“Well! It’s-” Felicity beamed and started explaining as he held out a long robe dyed in a rich purple. He barely listened to her as he pondered the much heavier and softer fabric than he was used to. It started out with a vivid, bright color on the shoulders, slowly transitioning into a deeper, much darker shade, at first in thick, wavy bands of colour, before turning into a soft, uninterrupted gradient into a near-black at the very bottom. It was, without a doubt, much nicer than anything he ever had. And they just-</p>
<p>“-and that’s why we decided to get you something!” she finished and Gaster realized he zoned out. He gave her a smile and hoped it wasn’t too obvious.</p>
<p>“I had to talk them out of getting you a suit,” Grillby added and crackled at the shudder he got in response. “Yeah, told them you wouldn’t like it.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Thanks. I owe you. Again.”</em>
</p>
<p>Felicity drummed her claws on the counter impatiently. “Come on, don’t keep us waiting, put it on! I won’t get to be on court meetings much, but I want to see you in it!”</p>
<p>He hesitantly stood up and looked the robe over again. He wasn’t sure… Hm…</p>
<p>“Just throw it on. It should fit over the, ahem, ‘lab’ coat fine. It’s about half the point,” Grillby assured him and caught his sharp glare. Turns out even the bartender was aware of the fact that a coat worn this often lost some of it’s use in what was supposed to be a sterile environment.</p>
<p><em>“Fine, fine, I’m on it,”</em> Gaster huffed and pulled it over.</p>
<p>It was actually pretty nice. Comfortable, soft, he still had access to all his pockets… And the not exactly fanciest and slightly worn coat simply vanished under it.</p>
<p>“Hang on a second,” his friend paused after he looked him over, before digging through the remnants of the parchment paper and getting out a- Wait, what? “You missed something.”</p>
<p>Before he could really get a good look at whatever it was, Grillby jumped off the counter, walked up and threw the second piece over him, straightening it up and then clasping it closed. “There we go- oh, one more thing.” He took a step back. “Shoulders down and back, would you.”</p>
<p>Gaster did as Grillby mimicked.</p>
<p>“That’s the spirit. Now you’re looking sharp and smart, posture and all. I don’t know how you manage to slouch in that thing.”</p>
<p>He looked down to take in what he was now wearing. It was… a cape? Much shorter than the ones usually intended for travel, but still long enough to offer some warmth if he pulled it closer. It was nearly jet black with a delicate floral pattern in silver thread weaving around the top, leading up to the clasp in the front, which was in the shape of a…</p>
<p>He was pretty sure he just turned purple. <em>“I can’t believe you’ve done this.”</em></p>
<p>“What, not a fan of the butterfly. Awh, Trutnau is going to be heartbroken, she was so proud of it,” Grillby responded with a smirk.</p>
<p>If he wasn’t purple before, now he <em>definitely</em> was. <em>“No it’s- It’s too nice,”</em> he managed to get out before he crossed his arms.</p>
<p>He immediately unfolded them to regain his balance when Felicity shoved him slightly more than gently. “Nah. No. It’s not. The <em>Royal</em> Scientist needs to look <em>royal</em> on <em>royal</em> meetings, don’t you think?”</p>
<p><em>“No- I mean, yes- I-”</em> Augh, what were words. <em>“It’s- It’s purple of all colours, and the- the embroidery and- This all must’ve- This had to-”</em> He didn’t need to look at them to feel their raised eyebrows. <em>“Cost so much.”</em></p>
<p>Another shove nearly sent him tumbling. “Hey! Stop worrying about the price of your <em>birthday present</em>, dumbass!” She was laughing but it didn’t make the statement seem any less serious. “It’s fine, we’re fine.”</p>
<p>“Besides,” Grillby decided to chime in too, “It was a birthday present from <em>multiple</em> of us. Trutnau did the clasp. Her Majesty did the embroidery. You’re not bleeding anyone dry here. Take it as a present from all your friends, hm.”</p>
<p>He dragged his hands down his face, a hint of amusement sneaking its way into it. <em>"Stars, Grillby, how did you rope</em> lady Toriel <em>of all people into helping out my clothes not once, but</em> twice<em>."</em></p>
<p>“Oh, so you figured that one too, hm.”</p>
<p><em>“Well, sir sneaky,”</em> Gaster snickered and seemed to relax, <em>“I try to not drop my inventory on others on the regular, if you haven’t noticed.”</em></p>
<p>“What.”</p>
<p>“Oh, you don’t know,” Grillby turned to Felicity with an excited spark. “Might be a fun story to tell, hm,” he gently nudged his friend.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Stars, I don’t… I’m not sure.”</em>
</p>
<p>“Well now I’m curious! What is it?”</p>
<p>Gaster sighed. <em>“Bonding through near-death experiences.”</em></p>
<p>“Wh- <em>What?!</em> Lad, what in heavens <em>were</em> you-”</p>
<p><em>“I’ll explain later,”</em> he stopped her with a wave. <em>“…Maybe. Anyways-”</em></p>
<p>“Oh, young man, why are you so full of mysteries.” She paused, seemingly realising something. “Wait. <em>Wait.</em>”</p>
<p>It was Gaster’s turn again to be puzzled. Took long enough. <em>“What?”</em></p>
<p>“I can’t call you ‘young’ anymore! You’re thirty! Which makes you an… adult-adult!”</p>
<p>“Oh yeah. It also means you’re allowed to stop counting years and such. I sure did. How old am I. Don’t ask me.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Grillby, you turned thirty like a month ago.”</em>
</p>
<p>“Really,” he tried to act surprised. “Can’t check because I don’t know, but I’ll trust you on this.”</p>
<p>Gaster rolled his eye lights while Felicity snorted.</p>
<p><em>“Excuse you, by the way, I’m definitely still young,”</em> he turned to her.</p>
<p>“Nah, you’re old now, lad.” She patted him on the back encouragingly. “Welcome to the geezer club.”</p>
<p>He squinted in feigned anger. <em>“If I’m a geezer, what does that make you?”</em></p>
<p>…And he regretted the sentence the moment he finished it. He was overdoing this, wasn’t he-</p>
<p>Felicity pulled him down to her height by his collar and gave him a wide, toothy grin, about five centimeters away from his face. “Your elder that could kick your ass if she wanted to.” She let him go and burst into laughter, and he joined her moments later. Okay, alright, she wasn’t the one to take things too personally. This anxiety wasn’t warranted.</p>
<p>Once they both settled down, Gaster took off the robe and cape and folded them neatly. They didn’t feel appropriate for an evening between friends. <em>“No, but, seriously. Thank you both so much for this. It means- It means a lot.”</em> He put the bundle back onto the counter and smiled at them both. <em>“Now, for you,”</em> he turned to Grillby, shooting him a sharp glare, <em>"Don’t you think for even a second that we’re ging to skip</em> your <em>birthday."</em> Better celebrate it late than never.</p>
<p>The fire elemental crackled in response. “You can’t make me.”</p>
<p><em>“Debatable,”</em> Gaster retorted with a smirk.</p>
<p>To his dismay, Grillby jumped over to the other side of the bar. “Well, you’d have to catch me first.”</p>
<p>He decided to take it as a challenge.</p>
<p>He couldn’t just <em>reach</em> over the counter and grab him Grillby already made sure of that with few careful steps back. He wasn’t agile (and flexible, like this) enough to vault over it like he did. If he ran around, they’d end up in the exact same situation, except their sides would switch.</p>
<p>He didn’t have speed on his side, so he needed the element of surprise.</p>
<p>So he did the only logical thing left - he dove over the counter without prior warning.</p>
<p>Or at least, it was <em>supposed</em> to be a dive. With the brace, it was more of a hands-first slide in Grillby’s general direction.</p>
<p>Except the bartender in question was very adept at dodging things (and monsters much more aggressive than he could ever be). It only took him a single step to the side to make Gaster vanish under the bar with a strangled yelp and metallic clatter.</p>
<p>Felicity snorted before she burst into a full-blown laugh. “Boys- What- What are you, five?”</p>
<p>Grillby looked to the floor and then back to her. “Wing is sending word that he’s <em>at least</em> twelve.”</p>
<p>“Pff, okay, twelve then. Is he okay down there? Does he need any help?”</p>
<p>A grumble and couple of odd shuffling noises came in response. “He says he’s fine. And that he’ll get up in a minute or two on his own.”</p>
<p>Felicity couldn’t hold her curiosity back any more and peeked over the counter.</p>
<p>Gaster way laying on the floor, still trying to catch his breath, hands currently loosely clasped over his chest. When he caught her look, he smiled. <em>“Hey. It’s quite cozy here, actually. Nice view!”</em> he winked at Grillby. <em>“I can see all your ceiling stains from here. Yuck.”</em></p>
<p>“Oh stars, you’re lazy <em>and</em> rude today, I see.”</p>
<p><em>“Maybe a little bit. Don’t I get a pass since it’s my birthday?”</em> Gaster’s grin widened.</p>
<p>“…Perhaps. Let me ask you again though: do you want help.”</p>
<p>He paused and hummed in thought. <em>“Okay. Kinda? It can be annoying to have to roll over and do that entire charade only to get up.”</em></p>
<p>“Alright, come here,” Grillby offered and Gaster latched onto his arms. It took them several tries, but eventually they managed to pull him up into a squat, from where he could pretty easily, if slightly shakily, stand up.</p>
<p><em>“Thanks,”</em> Gaster leaned against the bar and wheezed. He didn’t miss the concerned looks it earned him. <em>“I’m fine, give me a second,”</em> he tried to dispel their worry but wasn’t sure just how effective is was.</p>
<p>He sighed.</p>
<p><em>“Actually…”</em> he turned around to Grillby and let the sentence hang in the air.</p>
<p>His friend <em>did</em> take a step closer. Perfect. “Actually what.”</p>
<p>Instead of answering, he pushed himself off the counter, hooked an arm around Grillby’s neck and leaned on him with his full weight. The bartender staggered and Gaster couldn’t help but to grin childishly for successfully catching him off guard. One, two-</p>
<p>They both tumbled to the floor.</p>
<p>Now there were <em>two</em> monsters laughing nearly hysterically in the room. One perhaps heavingly, but still.</p>
<p>Grillby crackled underneath him, catching his own breath. “Wing. Stars. I have no idea what this is about but since when are you <em>this heavy</em>.”</p>
<p>He gently knocked on his brace in response.</p>
<p>“Also, I think he caught you, hm?”</p>
<p>“Ah.”</p>
<p>Gaster nodded with a victorious grin and finally let the poor monster go.</p>
<p>“This is what I get for helping you out. Betrayal.” He got up and made a show out of dusting off his shirt. “How could you. This time you’ll have to get up all by yourself, traitor.”</p>
<p><em>“Fair enough,”</em> Gaster grimaced. <em>“But now you can’t weasel yourself out of a birthday celebration.”</em></p>
<p>Grillby sighed and shrugged, but he could see the happy tinges creep in. “Okay, you win. Have it your way.”</p>
<p><em>“Yes!”</em> he threw his arms into the air. <em>“When?”</em></p>
<p>The bartender hopped back up at the counter and looked down at his friend while he swayed his legs in the air. “A month. Maybe. Right now I can’t close down like this often, unfortunately.”</p>
<p>Gaster murmured something and took out his journal to jot this piece of information down. <em>“Recorded. Now I can hold you accountable if it doesn’t happen. Maybe come haunt you.”</em> A month would… have to be enough. He <em>had</em> something brewing to give to him, but he had to make it first, and that was the hard part. Especially on a time crunch. But- It would have to do.</p>
<p>“Okay, point taken,” Grillby crackled and jumped down. “But hey, you should get up. You have like, what. Two hours left today.” Contrary to his previous statement, he extended a hand to him.</p>
<p>He nodded and took the help. He scrambled to his knees and then to his feet in a joint effort. <em>“About. Yeah.”</em></p>
<p>“Then let’s make them count!”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>...in which the author gives Gaster a well deserved goddamn break. <a href="https://youtu.be/5CBT0nZP0Uk">Here's the song I titled this more or less after</a> bcs I was just Absolutely drawing a blank fhajksh. *yoinks a song from my two deaths playlist* good enough I guess. </p>
<p>Hahhaa my ribs hurt just writing Gaster making that dive across the counter. He has no braincells but he's Exceptionally Well Padded and doesn't really have much to break so I guess it wasn't... <i>that</i> terrible of an idea as it would be in real life aksdhflka....</p>
<p>As always: if you spot any typos/errors/etc, let me know, I'll happily fix them!<br/>And thanks to the four people that caught me trying to decide what the robe+cape should look like over on my artblog and helped me out! You know who you are &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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